lmfao

Who was the man who first salted the slug

What was he thinking to try

Roaming the lands pouring salt on god’s creatures

Hoping for one which would die

Billy Joel - Piano Man

There will never come a time when i don’t reblog this.

Ever.

Our DM’s Guide to D&D Classes

The entirely unnecessary demise of Barnes & Noble

“Whether the Andrea Gail rolls, pitch-poles, or gets driven down, she winds up, one way or another, in a position from which she cannot recover. Among marine architects this is known as the zero-moment point – the point of no return.” –Sebastian Junger, “The Perfect Storm”

Posts like this aren’t my usual fare, but there’s a lot of readers on Tumblr. So y’all might be interested – or, if not, you really should be.

On Monday, this went down:

That’s the bloodless, matter-of-fact, ho-hum business event way of describing it. Let me paint you a different picture.

On Monday morning, every single Barnes & Noble location – that’s 781 stores – told their full-time employees to pack up and leave. The eliminated positions were as follows: the head cashiers (those are the people responsible for handling the money), the receiving managers (the people responsible for bringing in product and making sure it goes where it should), the digital leads (the people responsible for solving Nook problems), the newsstand leads (the people responsible for distributing the magazines), and the bargain leads (the people responsible for keeping up the massive discount sections). A few of the larger stores were able to spare their head cashiers and their receiving managers, but not many.

Just about everyone lost between 3 and 7 employees. The unofficial numbers put the total around 1,800 people.

People.

We’re not talking post-holiday culling of seasonal workers. This was the Red Wedding. Every person laid off was a full-time employee. These were people for whom Barnes & Noble was a career. Most of them had given 5, 10, 20 years to the company. In most cases it was their sole source of income.

There was no warning.

But it gets worse.

Keep reading

i know i say this all the time but i think about it ALL the time: we need to bring back “die cis scum”

typical feckless tumblr fool sitting on their rocking chair on their porch: oh, the halcyon days of tumblr are gone… it’s just crapp these days. there’s nothing good left.

me, the “justinian of tumblr”, galloping past them on my milk-white stallion in my big silk robes: DIE CIS SCUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bad post op. absolutely filthy.

Piss off, OP. 

-k

OP is so cringey, lol.

“Justinian”

You feel big?

No. I feel bad for you tbh. 

What’s to feel bad for? Very well-bred stallion, silk robes, and my great attitude. I could surely be one of the luckiest people on the world.

He was an activist who inspired millions to fight for their rights. He knew what was wrong with our country and risked his life to help his people achieve equality.  In the society where black were treated like animal he did everything possible to change this. His brave soul, his will and courage changed the history of America , changed the people. He made us believe we can win this war. He payed for it with his life. He will always be remembered.

Respecting his memory also means acknowledging that his fight is far from over, black people are facing the same issues that ha birth to the Black Panthers, and that the FBI is basically trying to launch COINTELPRO 2.0 against BLM and other black activists. Hampton should be more than a history lesson, he should be a rallying point.

space shit is cancelled until we solve homelessness and poverty

i hope everyone understands i mean no space bases on mars for the wealthy and no control room on venus where elon musk sits and read books about how to turn a human brain into a motherboard. Wealthy gotta fix what they fucked before they head off to a new world…imo

I think we should absolutely send the wealthy into space. Just without a spacesuit.

we’re gonna delete deadnames

reblog to delete your dead name

I dont have a dead name but reblogging this also deletes your friends dead names

hey guys our dead names are now deleted

for anyone who needs it 

Theory: Nobody who writes a physics textbook gives any fucks

Evidence:

Update: Legolas’ pupils are about 3.5 cm wide each. Now drawing kawaii Legolas on physics assignment.

And they told you science was no fun.

Science!

I’m going to do it. I’m going to hand it in.

Legolas’s pupil size isn’t the problem here, though. 5 leagues is 17.262 miles. The curvature of the Earth means that for a person of average height, the visual horizon is less than three miles away. Even if your vision is telescopic and the atmosphere is perfectly clear, you can’t see around the planet. If they were standing on a hill, it would have to be at LEAST 198 feet above sea level in order to see the horizon at 17.2 miles away, with nothing tall in between. Which, knowing Rohan, isn’t impossible.

But consider: Elven satellite eyeballs.

you mean like

@sidereanuncia it’s back, the post that I can only imagine haunts your nightmares 

I shall never find peace.

Also, for what it’s worth, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that the curvature of Middle Earth is the same as that of Earth.

There’s no evidence that Middle Earth curves.

Yeah there is.  The Silmarillion states that the world was curved after the fall of Numenor (I believe), preventing access to Valinor.  But Elves (among others) can travel the straight path across it.

So middle earth is round, but not for Elves because magic.

So wait, the reason he can see that far is because Elves just have the ability to ignore the curve of the earth? That’s awesome. It also means that no matter how good your optics got, you would always want elf eyes manning the spyglass because they can see arbitrarily far while everybody else is limited by this ‘horizon’ bullshit.

Oh thank God, my poor elf prince has seen too much in this post

Elves are flat-earthers

This post went from amusing to horrifying, to be brought back down to amusing, sprinkled in with some cannon explanation, and then you leave me here in fucking outrage

This post really was a rollercoaster.

for elves it was a straight line

OKAY HERES THE FUCKING ZOOTOPIA PRO LIFE COMIC

wow nick is a piece of shit

Reblog if you think Nick deserves to be oppressed for this

Except…

Its not her body. Its another body growing inside her body.

Nick was extreme, but he wasn’t wrong. She was killing the baby that was also Nick’s because of her job.

Ever heard of maternity leave? Also, I’m sure that on duty the staff would be forgiving. There’s nothing to say that they would be hostile towards a pregnant woman.

Nick had no right to leave his wife. That was certainly wrong. But the fact that he was angry at Judy for killing a child was completely justified. I’d be mad at my wife too.

I’m 100% pro-life. Killing children that may grow up to be the light of someone’s life is inhumane to the extreme.

is this the hill you want to die on? defending the feelings of fictional talking animals in a deviantart fancomic of an animated disney film? like is this it?

i’m cackling, because I just went through the whole comic, and one on of the pages, i found a comment from the author of this comic mentioning that they believe, and I quote, “ a woman has the last word when it comes to her own body.” and that they have no idea why people really think they’re supporting the pro-life agenda

in fact, if you read through the comic, Nick really does not have any good points against Judy’s. it’s her body, she has her reasons, and she’s made her choice.

i love this “new meme”, but please don’t forget that the author did not intend for their comic to be an actual pro-life argument 

Reblogging for the last comment.

I’ve seen days of endless Zootopia abortion discourse please let me die

You know what? Fuck net neutrality, the internet was a mistake and it needs to die

this is ten times more emotional and impactful than the original

*cracks up*

Anakin: I’m so worried about something. I should probably keep my feelings to myself and attempt to solve my problems by working with Palpatine. He seems like he has my best interests at heart.

Music: DUN DUN DUN, DUN DA-DUN, DUN DA-DUN!

Anakin: [pauses] [looks around] Uh…OK. I mean, I’ll…go talk to Obi-Wan?

Music: [hopeful woodwind instruments]

Anakin: …and be open and honest about my life and what is bothering me, and try to work out a non-violent resolution to my problems?

Music: [Force Theme plays]

Anakin: [smiles] All right! Huh. This is helpful. 

Positive reinforcement at its finest. ;D

#lol#i’m just imagining the force throwing its metaphysical hands in the air like ‘subtlety obviously isn’t working with this one so have a whole#symphony of hints young reckless one’ (via @likealeafonthewind)

I’m crying from laughter, this is beautiful.

Anakin: *fucks up*

The Force: Son, please… Guess I’m gonna enable the hints menu.

THE HINTS MENU. *dies* 

Maybe Obi-Wan hears the music, too, and then the day is saved. 

Obi-Wan: [walking away] Welp, guess it’s off to kill Grievous I’m sure Anakin will be fi – 

Music: [Duel of the Fates] 

Obi-Wan: OMG not this shit again [runs back down the hall towards Anakin]

Anakin: [running back towards Obi-Wan] Obi-Wan I just heard that Ominous Music again and also I secretly married Padme and she’s pregnant and I haven’t slept in 6 days and I keep thinking she’s going to die and I AM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT and if you leave I will 100% end up killing everyone and –

Obi-Wan: – oh my God! OK…it’s OK, I heard my own ominous music a second ago when I was getting ready to leave and so I won’t and we’ll fix th – 

Anakin: – I heard mine when I thought about maybe talking to the Chancellor instead of y–

Palpatine: [sidling up behind them smugly] Everything all right, gentlemen?

Music: [scary ass music from the opera scene] 

Anakin and Obi-Wan: AHHHH

I randomly thought of this post again today and it made me laugh 

For the record in that last line I always pictured them clinging to each other in fear like Shaggy and Scooby: 

ACCURATE OH MY GOD

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

I would so read this.

@forcearama

OMG I LOVE THIS!

@esamasituation this seems like the kind of crack you would approve of

This is exactly the kind of crack I approve of yes

Please reblog.

the 9 year old white kid dying of cancer whos last wish is the say the n word VS the trans nsa dad who kills himself because someone on tumblr said hes not valid. who wins

don’t be insensitive the white cancer kid was his son

hey if anyone wants to help a very broke, pregnant, disabled bi woman and her family have a better holiday season this year, you can donate to my paypal or get me something off my wishlist or baby registry. if you’re unable to help, you can rb this post! i would be eternally grateful tbh