Do you think Regina abused Henry? Is Henry an abused child in your eyes? Did she abuse him in season one? And season two? Do you feel she abused him before the series started? If so in what way? Do you see lying about the curse as abuse? Do you think she neglected him at any point (pre series/season one)?
Wow, this is a lot of questions, lol. I’ll try and cover all this.
Abuse is a sensitive word. It’s grossly overused in this fandom to a nearly ridiculous level that it’s started to lose meaning. People seem to be under the impression that the more you say it, the truer it gets. False…
Anyway, if you quickly look up some simplistic definitions of abuse, you get this:
- to use wrongly or improperly; misuse
- to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way
- to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign
- to commit sexual assault upon
- Obsolete. to deceive or mislead
- wrong or improper use; misuse
- harshly or coarsely insulting language
- bad or improper treatment; maltreatment
- and so on…
And if this is your definition; if this is your source of reference, then yes, even I have to admit that Regina abused Henry. It’s clearly in the definitions above. You know what this also means? That Emma abused Henry. Because by definition, she did. She lied and deceived him on more than one occasion.
But it gets even stickier than that, because if we’re to follow these definitions, then that means Emma abused Regina. That Regina abused Emma. Regina abused her position in town. That Emma and David abuse their positions in town. That nearly everyone- if not every single person, has abused someone or something and on more occasions than a few.
It’s a sticky situation.
But if we’re to look at abuse as it’s more defined by our standards in regards specifically to child abuse and looking only at Regina and Henry and her treatment of him, things are not quite to simple.
When I first searched the definition of child abuse, this was what came up:
- physical maltreatment or sexual molestation of a child
The latter obviously has nothing to do with our case, so looking at physical maltreatment, there are a few cases that Regina physically handled Henry. One was when they were at the well, and Regina physically restrained him. She did hold him back, but the reality was, it was for his protection. The curse would have killed him and she had to hold him back. In that instant, not helping him would have certainly been wrong and would have led to his death.
Then there was the case everyone likes to bring up, which was when she used the tree branches to grab him in 2.02. The lesson in that episode was clearly that she had been wrong in her possessiveness. She had been wrong. She had been overbearing, held too tight and that was the whole reason she had the moment where Henry brought her back to all those years ago when her own mother had entrapped her and forced her into the miserable life she had.
The problem I have will screaming abuse at her restraining him with the tree, was that is does not perfectly parallel Cora’s abuse. Cora was forcing Regina into a marriage to a man old enough to be her father. Regina was trying to keep Henry to herself. Wrong? Yes. Abusive… how, exactly? Then Cora grabbed her to stop her escape and while I believe Regina wanted to keep Henry in, she also took him when he, her child, was hanging off the side of a mansion. Again, if she didn’t do anything, she would have been wrong. I cannot consider that physically abusive when he could have died from falling several stories had she not stopped him.
But again, the lesson was clearly that Regina’s possessiveness was wrong. She realized it and did the right thing and let him go. I can’t call her an abuser because she wanted him to herself and especially not because she let him go. Do abusers generally listen to the ones they are so called “abusing” and turn around and let them go with their grandfathers?
Looking into it a bit more thoroughly, I found a federal law definition for child abuse to be as follows:
- Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation
- An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm
This is a bit different. Fortunately or unfortunately, on this show and in this town with constant dangers, this definition also includes many others. But yes, it includes Regina. Technically, the turnover falls under this, though it’s a stretch.
Do you think Regina abused Henry? She lied to him and for a time, made him question his beliefs. That was wrong and by definition, abusive. I do not use that word because Regina Mills, loving mother, Mama bear, would give her life to make Henry happy, is just not an abuser. But in season 1 only, between the time that Henry discovered the curse and when it was broken, she did, by definition, act emotionally abusively when she tried to deceive him and let him question himself.
Is Henry an abused child in your eyes? I’m guessing you’re asking if he appears that way? In which case, of course not. Henry does not fear Regina. Henry stands up to her when she’s wrong. He flat out tells her like it is without fear because he knows she won’t hurt him. That is the biggest tell for me. Henry has never once feared for his own safety. He’s never questioned that. Even when he thought she didn’t love him, he still knew she wouldn’t hurt him.
Did she abuse him in season one? And season two? Do you feel she abused him before the series started? If so in what way? As I’ve said, by definition, the turnover basically falls under that, as well as her lying to him about the curse. Season 2, no. She let him go, she realized she wasn’t the best mother she could be and let him go until she could be what he needs. That’s what a good mother does. Before the show? No, other than her lying to him. We have no proof and anyone that says otherwise is making up canon that never happened. Archie acted like things were good before he found out he was adopted and so until proven otherwise, I believe they were okay.
Do you see lying about the curse as abuse? Technically. By definition, because when he really believed in it, she made him question himself and that hurt him emotionally.
Do you think she neglected him at any point (pre series/season one)? NO. I assume this is about her leaving him during the day on Saturdays. I don’t know how people grew up that they claim a ten year old being by himself during the daytime on a weekend is abusive or neglectful, but it just is not. That is not abuse. That is not neglect. That is not even close.
I hope I covered everything. The deal is that this isn’t a simple subject. By definition, they’ve all abused Henry. That’s the reality. That kid has been in life and death situations while under all their care and that makes them all technically “abusive”.
But Regina let Henry go when she realized she wasn’t being good for him. She was willing to give her life time and time again for him and to make sure he had happiness. She was willing to give him everything he needed at the sacrifice of her own happiness. She loves him more than anyone, no one can convince me otherwise and Henry, no matter how sad or angry, always loved her and believed in her. So when I look at Regina, no I do not see an abuser because Regina Mills is not an abuser. Just as Regina has done evil but is not evil in her core. Labels cannot be given so simply. Regina made mistakes with Henry, but she loves him with all her heart.
She is not the mistakes she made. She is a mother and a damn good one.
Regina emotionally abused Henry period the end! She gaslit him, isolated him and tried to kill his support team and violated his mind. She wiped his memories and she made him be a sacrificial lamb so she wouldn’t kill the entire town. Emma lying about Neal is no where near the lies that Regina told Henry. She even put him in therapy and bullied his therapist that she was controlling. He had to beg her not to erase his memories he had beg her to save Emma and Snow. So yes she is abusive period
