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@kcalbsuiris

1. I'm a laser tag assassin, B. I've beat every spyro game known to man & C. My dogs prettier than yours. 
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quotemadness
“I just want to run away with you, rob a bank, fall in love and eat ice creams in paris.”

— Michael Faudet

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lovelustquotes
“She was the kind of girl who loved to stretch out under the sheets, eating chocolate, reading books and fucking on rainy afternoons.”

— Michael Faudet

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All my love affairs are with you.

Eliot Knight (via eli0tknight)

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Darkness has a tricky way of existing; even light creates shadows without meaning to.

Eliot Knight (via eli0tknight)

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macaulay culkin was forced into his career by his father through manipulation, gaslighting and humiliation as well as physical abuse. at fourteen, instead of hitting him back like his father demanded, macaulay called the police and put a stop to the suffering that he and his family were facing. when his parents went bankrupt, macaulay offered up his own money to his mother and siblings and stepped up as the father figure to his five younger siblings. he’s publicly supported lgbt and pro-black charities for decades (x, x) and dedicated a good two pages of his book to naming conservatives and abusers that he hates. he risked his own reputation to defend michael jackson in court and treats michael’s daughter, paris, like his own. macaulay culkin is an amazing person whose made all of us happy over the years, and 2018 WILL be the year we repay him by supporting his hipster lifestyle website.

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quotespile
So much for Objective Journalism. Don’t bother to look for it here–not under any byline of mine; or anyone else I can think of. With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms.

Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ‘72 (via quotespile)

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kurtwagnermorelikekurtwagnerd
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tricolorrotini

Every time I talk to my roommate I feel my pineal gland calcify and my third eye close a little bit more

Last night she asked me how many days there are in a year and I said “why do you not know that?” and she said “why the fuck would I need to know that?”

She’s getting ready for work rn while listening to the Carrie Underwood song from the Super Bowl at full volume

She keeps hanging this shit up around the house

Last night she was telling me about a car accident she was in years ago and she said they had to use the “jar of live” and I was like. Do you mean the jaws of life and she said “you don’t know what the jar of life is?”

She’s sitting next to me scrolling through a facebook meme page scream laughing and showing me literally every post and saying “what’s wrong? Are you okay” if I don’t laugh hard enough

We’re at her dads house it looks like this

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robotlyra

I’m detecting a strong suburban Massachusetts upper middle class purgatory aura from this post.

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kcalbsuiris

I'm detecting a judgemental shit who still went to her roommates parents house even though she clearly hates her!

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purplebuddhaquotes
Abusers don’t abuse every day. They have good moments. Days when they do the right things. Moments when they say the correct words. when this happens, the key is to remember that it is just an abuser having a good day, but still an abuser based on all the other days.

Shannon Thomas (via purplebuddhaquotes)