You’re telling me a LOBSTER squeezed this lime?

Gin and clawnic

Second half is even better

Screeching

My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.

Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”

“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”

So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.

You’ve heard about gender neutral….

Get ready for

credit scores are such a scam tbh

Something I love about Tumblr is having over a thousand followers and yet absolutely zero activity when I make a post. Thank you everybody for ignoring me 🙏🙏 allow my sillyness to slip into the silent succulent dark

“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser

Huge fan of the phrase "get pickled, idiot"

no why

help her

Inclusive language is for everyone!!

Their boyfriend is their partner why is this hard to understand

Also, “partner” is just a good word? It implies an equal relationship where both of your work together in pursuit of something, whether that be life goals or just having fun together.

It’s a good word. People should use it more.

Bisexuals can be in M/F relationships as well

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

all part of the plan

Reblog if you had a Tumblr for 5+ years

Mona Lisa and her possum.

This isn't real. You can't just put fake stuff on the internet. I am so upset, because I want this to be real so bad

possibly one of the most hilarious exchanges on doctor who 

Honestly all the conversations between the Daleks and Cybermen in this episode were fucking gold

I know nothing about Doctor Who lore but I feel like the Cybermen and the Daleks are both the descendents of two exes who both designed robots.

You haven’t even seen the best one yet (or at least, it wasn’t in this reblog chain):

This is as close as I’ve ever seen to a real-life “roll perception to identify the mimic.”

it fucken WIMDY

words of wisdom from wikipedia this evening

Tell me you’ve never met a girl without telling me you’ve never met a girl.