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humour me

@kaylavogue

it's all good, baby baby.

I’m losing myself more and more every day. I don’t like who I am or who I am becoming so I don’t know if it really matters at all that this is happening. 

I think freckles, stretch marks, tattoos, bruises, birthmarks, and scars are probably the coolest thing. You started with a blank canvas and look at you now, all this evidence that you’ve lived
my favorite memory of You and me was laying on your couch limbs wrapped up in each other when You brushed my hair to the side of my neck and with your finger traced the outline of my tattoo You didn’t say anything but your touch was the softest most careful thing i had ever felt and for the first time i felt like i was home
Anxiety At each passing day I lose you a little more Your first thoughts of the day Your delightful smile The inside jokes, the endless talks. At each passing day I lose you a little more The same interests, the comprehensive look The shared pictures, the unsaid words. At each passing day I lose you a little more The “good mornings” and “good evenings” The honest “are you ok?” The imediate answers. At each passing day I lose you a little more “Are you there?” “Are you busy?” “Can we talk?” At each passing day I lose you a little more Even the anger, the irritability The discomfort It’s no longer there. At each passing day I lose you a little more Until the only Thing left is Indiference.
Have I ever told you that you are my favorite story I keep on telling everyone? Your name always slips out of my mouth like honey and sounds like a soft melody that never fails to calm me. I always try to turn you into poetry but no matter how eloquent and well written it is, it will never come close in capturing the essence of you. And even if I did, I know you will only read it and think of someone else. No matter how I mask this tragedy with metaphors, the reality will always set in: even if the sun has set and risen numerous times, you will never learn to love me.
A list of 10 lessons learnt from surviving today. 1. So many pretty girls wear scars. 2. Love can be done alone. 3. Cry, cry, cry. It’s gonna be alright. (Please don’t die.) 4. Tous les garçon s'appellent Patrick. 5. On bad days, love yourself more than ever. That’s the challenge of such days. 6. You’re not immune. They haven’t found a cure for unkind words yet. So, it’s okay to be hurt. 7. Even if you think you won’t make it past today, give yourself a chance. You just might. 8. I love you so much. 9. It’s okay to still love the one who left. Even for always. It’s okay. 10. On some days even the sun struggles to be seen. Other days you shine. Because you’re a goddamn star.