last year, i made my avatar slightly more unsettling every day until Halloween.
this year, i’m giving y’all a break and making it CUTER every day until Halloween!
here’s the original and day 1
HELP HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Source: reddit.com
just got called a homosexual demon by this old lady walking out of a church and I just wanna say I appreciate that my reputation precedes me
i slapped a cathedral effect on the song & now it sounds like celestial beings singing from the depths of space calling to you
Spider-Verse fanfiction idea I’ll never get around to writing:
Teacher: Congratulations, Miles. Your paper on multi-dimensional physics has attracted a TON of interest from our Science Mentorship partners. We’ve found you a really wonderful Science Mentor who’s going to be helping you prepare your Youth Science Innovators presentation this week.
Miles: Oh, wow, my parents are gonna be so proud.
Teacher: So, let me introduce you to Dr. Olivia Octavius. Thank you, doctor, for being part of this mentorship program.
Liv: It’s my pleasure, I’m just happy I can help inspire the science community of tomorrow.
Miles: … D:
Important additions:
- Liv is 100% legitimately invested in being a good Science Mentor. After all, today’s young scientists are tomorrow’s reality-warping coworkers.
- Miles’s paper was an edited version of his research on small, stable inter-dimensional portals, so he can hang out with Gwen/get multiverse help against major threats.
- Sometimes, Miles forgets to be scared or angry at Doc Ock and starts actually learning from her, except she inevitably proposes something super unethical and then unconvincingly adds “…theoretically, of course” and Miles starts planning how to counter whatever doom-bot she’s just come up with as Spider-Man.
- May Parker has been helping Miles with spider-gadgets and general science stuff after school. At some point, she and Liv have an angry shouting match over who gets science-custody of their science-nephew.
- Miles has to figure out how to turn down a very plush internship offer from Octavius at the end of the week. His parents insist he take it, he fails to come up with a good reason not to that doesn’t involve Spider-Man knowledge. His parents have Liv over for dinner, she speaks highly of their son and his bright future. The family loves her.
- When Liv eventually figures out his secret identity, she goes full punch-clock villain and keeps mentoring Miles while fighting Spider-Man’s attempts to stop her Bad Idea Science.
This is the best and also so good I love
mysteriousdogduo
Ock: MILES YOU HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW WHY ARE YOU HERE
Miles: BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE OLIVIA
Eventually…
Someone: “Our primary suspect is Doc Ock.”
Miles: “It’s not Doc Ock.”
Someone: “How do you know?”
Miles: “Because Liv promised to stop causing mayhem on school nights if I agreed not to tell Floyd she’s the one who keeps taking his food out of the company fridge.”
Mermaids LOVE shoes.
Many of the materials present in footwear can withstand deep sea pressure, hence why human remains in sunken ships disappear but the shoes don’t.
When fishing up an old boot, check inside for valuables, as a mermaid may have been using it as a bag.
In multiple mermaid languages, the words for “bag” and “footwear” are interchangeable. In a sense, it’s poetic, as footwear is needed to “carry” yourself on land.
Helping send out messages across the seven seas.
bigassmagnet
sailor: oh my god…thank you for rescuing me…I owe you my life…how can I ever repay you?
mermaid: *points to his feet*
sailor: I don’t under–
mermaid: give me your shoes
sailor: what?
mermaid: GIVE ME YOUR
wouldmedowobblestabbedplaywright
sailor *taking off his shoes*: Why is my life like this??!?
grandcetus
Crocks dont sink though
keigotakamihawks
Which means that obtaining crocs would be incredibly dangerous. A mermaid would have to risk exposing themselves to humans to get crocs from the surface. This means that only the most courageous of mermaids can get crocs. This would make crocs a LEGENDARY ITEM.
Imagine the King and Queen of the mermaids having their rooms decked out in crocs with rare plants dangling from the holes.
Imagine high ranking nobles having their weapons sheathed in crocs.
If a mermaid wished to marry a prince or princess, they must present a croc to the King and Queen.
m4ge-deactivated20210331
a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
- kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
- text your landlord
- remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
- briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
- remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
- look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
- remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
- enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
- order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
- exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
- return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
- back up
- ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
- release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
- you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
- the door swings open
- run up the stairs
- open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
- cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
- write tumblr post
homosexyslav
this has a better plot than 90% of action movies
sayhayhayley
that’s just a regular platypus???
PERRY THE PLATYPUS ?!?!
this is a rare pride staryu
reblog for 10000000 years of all inclusive LGBTQ equality
I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
polar opposite of this post
tomsholland
due to personal reasons i will be walking into a bog until i’m knee-deep in freezing water as fog gently swirls around me and i become the forest guardian spirit i was born to become
there aren’t enough posts going around about the swedish cryptid known as the skvader which is a rabbit with pheasant wings and also a very good boy.
like this one dude just made a fake taxidermy and spread it around as a hoax for a good ass while and it lead to this really cool fantasy creature and i am genuinely dissapointed that it never gets used in anything
THE BOY
Rabbirds, by the amazing @tkingfisher/Ursula Vernon (source).
The lack of skvaders is particularly frustrating when you realize it forms the third point of a wonderful cryptid trifecta.
You got the jackalopes, which are rabbits with antlers.
And you got the wolpertingers, which are rabbits with antlers and wings.
And then… what? Do you escalate? That’s unbalanced, those two rabbit cryptids don’t have the same number of extra things, the wolpertinger is clearly the jackalope But More.
BUT with the skvader on the other side, balance is restored. Antler rabbit, winged rabbit, winged antler rabbit. It’s a classic Venn diagram of imaginary lapine beasts, and it’s only complete if you acknowledge the fucking skvader.
Good thing Ursula’s got our back, at least.
This is a really excellent point and I applaud your advancements in Cryptid Theory.
magathapai
Gentleman, if I might add:
yes you may add this
I think balance in crypdids is VERY IMPORTANT.
“How arw you paying for photoshop” im not LMAO
moonpaw17
👀
moonpaw17
you know what heres a sai link too fuck the system
Honey, you’ve got a big storm comin'
Stream new episodes of The Dragon Prince, November 22nd on Netflix!
COMMISSIONS OPEN
So we have until the 31st to find a place to move and if not we’re homeless.
Please note: that I am in grievance and in the process of packing/moving, so these commissions will take me a while to complete. Normal turnaround time is about 2 weeks for one piece, but under the circumstances, I may take a little longer. Further details on the situation under the cut, prices are down below.
”crayon” full-body - 45-50 USD (heavily detailed orders will tack on additional charges)
”crayon” headshot - 25-30 USD (heavily detailed orders will tack on additional charges)
chibi base icons - 10-15 USD (heavily detailed orders will tack on additional charges)
the five parts of the brain are
- childlike wonder
- responsibility
- bad thoughts
- sexual desire
- lunchables