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Random musings of the former Cardiac Kid

@kaycee62

The former Cardiac Kid is now: Wife, mom, friend, activist, volunteer, believer - many, many hats, not enough moments. So many thoughts, so many ideas, so many goals, so many dreams ........ so little time. I believe in giving back, and lending a hand. I believe it takes more than a community, it takes the world. I believe in the great unknown, and ultimate possibilities. I want there to be life on other planets, and I want us all to get along. I believe in doing my best and always reaching for the stars. I believe in my family .... hubby, and two amazing young men. I believe in my friends and the good that we can do. I believe in God .... and the Golden Rule. I believe that we should all reach out and touch somebody's hand, and make this world a better place if we can. Because in the end ...... isn't it a good thing to have left the world a better place than you found it?

SО FАR АS УОU АRЕ СОNСЕRNЕD АBОUТ А QUIСКIЕ SЕХ WIТН А SТRАNGЕR ОN 1 ТWIСЕ IN ТНОSЕ САSЕS GО НЕRЕ.

www.xxxbswegzz.website

Not the love of his life . . . .

I knew it ... I really, really did know it.  So why does it hurt so much?  Maybe because he posted it tonight for all the world to see .... It has been good, and he had to go and do this .... wtf am I supposed to do now?

There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.

 Ella Wheeler Wilcox

This is on the "I MUST make" list for this weekend!

(Makes 8 cups)

Ingredients:

  • 1  (750-milliliter) bottle white wine
  • 1  cup  peach schnapps
  • 1/2  cup  frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed
  • 2  nectarines, sliced
  • 1  cup  green or red grapes, whole or sliced

Preparation:

  • Combine all ingredients in a large pitcher. Cover and chill at least 2 hours or overnight. Stir before serving.

Some days it is just not worth it ...

I don't know what to do.  I just can't win.  When I don't, there is hurt and disappointment.  When I do, there is anger, outrage and self-righteousness.  How many times do I have to say that it isn't working before I convince myself?  But yet, I don't have the courage to say it out loud ... it is just the voices in my head that keep yelling things at me.

I seem to get caught up in the whole "when it is good, it is very, very good.  When it is bad, it is HORRID!"  

Empty

The darkness surrounds me and I can't seem to shake it. It smothers me like the proverbial wet blanket. I have gone inside ... And looking out, I am not wild about the view.

I am a rare breed ... I LOVE SNOW!!!  Tonight, we are warm and cozy.  Fireplace on, jammies, PINK snuggie ... Life is GOOD!  

Let that stuff go! You can't fly with a bunch of crap holding you down!

~ Unknown

so hard to know what to believe

I have spent so much time not knowing what to believe, that in even the most pure, seemingly honest moments, I still doubt.   Maybe it's because actions don't match the words? Maybe because I know that in the next mood swing it will all go away.  Maybe because I think I don't deserve anything good?  But I will hold onto it, and in those dark, doubt-filled, painful moments, I will try to remember what was said.  And hope beyond hope that it is true.

what to do?

when it is good, it is very good.  But when it is bad .... I don't know how much more of the bad I can take.

Another sleepless night in the Lou

Trying to learn how all of this works.  Hopefully this email thing goes thru ... Would be cool to be able to email from work or phone!

The sun will soon be rising, another peaceful night gone, a new day beginning.  Hopefully I will not be ignorant of the importance that this gift brings.  

Can miles truly separate you from friends... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~ Richard Bach

There oughta be a law!

So, another sleepless night in the Lou.  I have surfed and snacked, and decided it was time to try sending my crazy ideas out into the world.  I have often had some deep, random musing, and thought ... I should write a blog.  So, here it is!  Take it for what it is .... random thoughts by someone who has other things she should be doing!

Tonight's "other thing" is sleeping.  Here it is, 3:40am, and I am quite wide awake.  Doesn't help that I took an hour plus nap at 6pm, but I have got to figure out a way to get back on a better schedule.  But I digress .... 

As I channel surf, I keep seeing ads for very yummy looking things .... seafood at Joe's Crab Shak, deals at AppleBees, and heck, even the Taco Bell ads look good at 3am!   Then there is the devil in disguise ..... The Food Network!   I was watching "The Best Thing I Ever Ate."   All of this made the food currently in my house appear terribly inadequate!

So, here is where I think that there oughta be a law ..... I do hereby declare that it is illegal in these United States, for there to be a commercial or a tv show that features a food item that is unavailable at the time the commercial or tv show is broadcast.  So no Taco Bell commercials after 2am.  No Alton Brown making to die for roast chickens at midnight, and most of all, no seafood commercials at 11:05pm when Joe's Crab Shak closed 5 minutes prior.

There ... one of the great problems of the world has been solved!  Now I am going to go raid the cupboards ... maybe there will be something new that was not there 20 minutes ago ..... 

WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

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So many places!!   I am someone who finds great beauty in all that is around me.  It may be a field of flowers, or an old barn, or the waves crashing on the shore.  But if you were to hand me some cash, and say .... Go somewhere ..... I would start with Tuscany, then England/Ireland/Wales, then Alaska, then New England.  

So much beauty on the planet earth, so little time!