seDATE me

WHEN THE HELL DID I USE THIS TAG

imagine water didnt reflect shit n was clear always and you could look at the ocean from above and see literally every huge fucky looking thing that lives in it no matter how deep. you fly over the pacific once and never sleep again for the rest of your life. its really the little things that make this planet habitable huh

fuck you paradise planet

A woman approached me while I was walking Little Bird and kept saying "he's so handsome" and I was like aw thank you, yes she is! And the woman paused and said "wait this is a girl dog?" And I said yeah and she said "but she's got dark coloring. Black is a boy dog color."

I literally felt like I was in a parody of a more watered down version of this conversation that might actually happen in the real world.

I had no idea what to say.

I just got woken up, from a nightmare, by the train going by shaking my bed, to find that duolingo randomly sent me the first notification in over a year, please understand my state of mind right now

when you grow but the walls around you stay the same

drinking a monster energy drink undoes your baptism

me when i started drawing the folds on clothes

the same

its christmas time and i want you all to look at this again

Trust me mom, I've been searching LinkedIn for "court jester" and nobody is hiring!

No, look, I-

Yes, grandpa was able to walk in, insult the king, and got hired but times have ch-

THAT'LL GET ME BEHEADED!

drinking a monster energy drink undoes your baptism

THEY CALL ME TITTY SQUEEZE MCGEE

no they DON’T!!!!!

go to FUCKING therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you still had any doubts the police are not here to serve and protect

frank ordonez’ (the ups driver) brother is raising money for a lawyer, to cover funeral costs and to help frank’s little daughter’s school costs

pls donate if you can

This Restaurant Has The Wildest Wing Pricing Structure And People Are Doing Math To Try To Figure It Out

THEY FUCKING PLOTTED IT IN MATLAB I’M CRYING

When a drunk girl outside a club bathroom speaks… you listen. If she tells you that you’ll find love despite being hurt in the past? She’s right. If she tells you to stop being so self-aware? She’s right. They are the modern day Oracles at Delphi and must be taken at their every word

outside after a lesbian concert (King Princess), i asked a girl dressed as jesus if she forgave me. a drunk girl ran up and slurred “i don’t mean to interrupt, but you don’t need to be forgiven. you don’t need to be forgiven.”

@loveyoufor1000000years

Every time I reblog a cool pic I’m like … What the point. But I still continue

sketches from twitter~