Randomness...

Stuck.

a frat boy criticizing gender norms? you love to see it.

[begin transcription]

So, Sunday I got a manicure. Oh, yeah. Sunday. Got a manicure. Dope. Should definetely do that more often. Lookit, if you’re watching on YouTube, look at how much my fucking nails are popping right now.

Got a manicure, uh, and the time of the- the end came to the manicure, she finished up, she buffed my nails, made them nice and shiny, you can see, I can see my fucking reflection in these goddamn things, super shiny nails. And so she finishes up and I’m like yo, why don’t you just paint, just paint my pinkie black. Cause, I don’t know, I don’t know, Sam was like “yeah, Carson Daley(?) used to do that” and I’m like that’s kinda cool, so paint it black, I don’t know, why not, fucking around. Who cares? Who the fuck cares? So I did it, thought it would look cool, my pinkie nail is black right now and I’m like ah, I look like a rock star, cool.

The amount of dudes that, it’s funny ‘cause you can always tell who is not, like, totally, I don’t wanna say comfortable with their masculinity, but that might be it, I don’t know. The countless dudes that I’ve, that I know have seen it and been like “dude, uhhhhhh, duuude, uhhhh what the fuck is that, my dude? What is that? Get away from me.” [Laughs] Seriously like it’s to funny, people, it’s a painted nail, what the fuck? Dudes flip out about this shit. Like I walk out, I was drinking a water bottle and one of my buddies goes “uhhh, duuude! I don’t know if you know this, but, um, your nail is purple.”

I’m like dude, uh, okay first of all it’s black, second of all yes I’m very much aware, I didn’t just fucking trip into a jar of nail polish. Like, why would I not know that, did someone do it being my back, like secretly? I’m like looking this way and one of my friends as a prank just pulls out his nail polish and fucking paints my pinkie nail black. All of a sudden. [Laughs] Should I have looked at my hand and been like “oh shit, it is! How did that happen? What the fuck?”

No, I know it’s painted black, I’m very much, I did it myself, because why the fuck not? But it’s like, it’s just funny, dudes are just so like, I don’t know, they’re always like “girls, girls do that, girls do it.” So what, so yeah they do. Maybe some guys do it too, fuck it. Yeah it’s a little abnormal, you don’t see it all the time, but what the fuck’s the issue?

Are you scared? Are you scared that maybe you’ll want to paint your nails when you see it? Is that what it is? “Dude, get that thing away from me man, get away from me! Get it away from me! That’s gay! Huah! Get it away, dude, you get that fucking hand away from me, I don’t fuck with that. Okay? You know what, no. Get it away, maybe I’m gonna want to paint one of my nails if that thing gets too close.”

I think it’s cool, man. Just one painted nail. Who knows, maybe I’ll do my other ones pink, fuck it, freak them out even more. “Ahh, dude, what’s on your nails, looks like cotton candy, ahh! That’s on a guy, you can’t do that, you’re a guy! You gotta be fucking, you gotta be buying football fabric. And, and punching other dudes in the face, and watching guys punching other dudes in the face. You can’t watch, you can’t do that with painted nails. Gross.”

[end transcription]

A drink or two

His Name’s Gizmo And He’s Really Excited Inside

“Yay.”

Photos by ©HeyGizmo - Via Tastefully Offensive

i want! to sit! in a lap! and i want! to hold! a hand!!!!!

do they have to be attached 

I love your need to make everything cute sounds creepy I love that

Well… It’s funny how you can make everything sound creepy/wrong but the things that you like

Make this creepy:

Skittles are very good

it depends where you put them

you challenged a god

Make this creepy:

Despacito Despacyeeto

An instrumental cover of a well-known song plays from another room. It starts slow, rhythm inconsistent, like a child struggling with a hand-played music box. It is the unmistakable tune of Despacito, played on an old circus organ. You open your eyes slowly and squint up at a single, flickering bulb. Your head aches. How did you get here? 

The music throbs against the bathroom’s crumbling tile walls. You are standing in front of a ceramic sink, the bowl chipped and yellowed with age. You have no memory of this place. The music speeds up. Your hands are stained with something dark and rotting. A strange taste lingers in your mouth. How did you get here?

You lean towards the mirror. Your face is haggard, your eyes bloodshot. 

Your reflection leans forward and whispers, “Despacito” 

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

Your reflection points to something behind you, and winks. You turn. Putrid water, muddy with rust, circles a drain built into the floor. It takes you a moment to notice the old bone saw leaning against the wall. You pick it up, and its weight feels familiar. You straighten up, liking the heft of it in your grip.

Outside the music is fading. Calmly you exit the bathroom, still holding the saw, letting its dull edge bump gently against your thigh. An aged calliope organ stands before you, its tune slowing to a halt. You hum in displeasure. Before it can stop entirely, you kick the thing violently into the wall. It lets out a crescendo and splinters into pieces.

You hear frantic footsteps behind you. You turn to find yourself in a maintenance tunnel, a large thing made of discolored concrete. The crash of the calliope had ended with a few notes that now echo in your head, bringing to mind an old tune. As you move forward into the tunnel, following the footsteps, you try to drag up the music from the dregs of memory. You take wide, heavy steps, trying to match that half-remembered tempo. How did it go again?

As you descend into darkness, you swing out your arm and drag the saw against the tunnel wall, like a child bullying a stick against a fence. Sparks fly out from the sawteeth and the metal screeches like something in pain. You hum loudly, letting the tune buzz through your ears. It’s all coming back to you.

Panicked footsteps echo up ahead. You smile, bringing the saw up to rest on your shoulder. You have all the time in the world.

You stalk forward, singing softly under your breath.

“Never gonna give you up.”

Gaud write 📚

Gaud smite 😈

But most importantly

Gaud watch you sleep at night 🛌🌚

A couple and their child were looking over our Marvel Characters plush at my work, right? And the dad turns to his little girl and asks, “Which Marvel character do you want?”

His little girl, maybe 9, replies, “Mmm, I think I want Captain Marvel.”

Dad makes a face, and says, “How about you choose a real super hero and not a little princess?”

Me and my coworkers were about to smack down on this man when his wife makes a FACE and says, “Honey, you get Captain Marvel.” Then she turns to her husband. “Shut the fuck up, Greg.”

And that has become our new motto for dealings with mysogenists at work.

when everything is falling apart but you’re pretending it’s fine

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

ehh what the hell

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

Oh? Well… *reblag*

Just reblagged

I made $108 in tips when I reblogged this yesterday. Sorry but I’m doin it again

I believe

Happiness Will Come To You.

when tho

When You Least Expect It. Probably Late March

reblog for happiness to come for you in late march!

I reblogged this last year and I hung out with blink-182 backstage on March 30. Reblogging again because it worked the first time.

honestly, last year one of the best days of my life happened in late March

Therapy: like 10000s of dollars

Sophmore Slump or Comeback of the Year by American rock band Fall Out Boy: 99¢ on iTunes

I’m screeching

Being friends with content creators and artists/authors is such a strange thing, because you can be moved by a piece of art, and absolutely enamored with a story–sobbing into your pillow at 4am because you can’t put it down–and then, just randomly remember that the person that created this incredible thing, is someone you send shitposts to at one in the morning, and exchange recipes with, and flail over your faves with, and talk about all your ridiculous ideas with.

Knowing the people whose talent brings you such joy is such a surreal and beautiful experience. Getting to hold in your hands something that was created by someone you know and care for is amazing.

But also, there chance to know that that incredibly talented person is a fellow Disaster Human is the most comforting thing?

I also love knowing content creators because I could be absolutely sobbing over one of their raw and poetic pieces of writing, and then I get on tumblr and see that they’ve made 13 barely-coherent posts in the last hour, all thirsting over rdj and it’s like. wow.

this is me with hope and @keep-a-bucket-full-of-stars AND @spiderboyneedsahug AND @loubuttons

:’) @onesp1cyboi @welove1stickyboi i stan quality content producers

@jrubalcaba @magellan-88 @bolontiku @stars8melanin @getinmelanin011 @kimistry30 @prettyyoungtragedy @buckyofthemyscira @jaamesbbarnes @sgtjbuccky @lokissoul @all1e23 @teamcap4bucky @tropicalcap @loricameback

And so many more that my brain is refusing to remember: you’re all amazing

This is so true @stars8melanin @hellaqueerangelofthelord @bolontiku @pegasusdragontiger @tilltheendwilliwrite @unicorns-and-fairy-dust @jrubalcaba @loricameback @suz-123

This is the most real thing I’ve ever seen…

Remember when Tumblr just invented a Greek god

Oh @hyena-bro my sweet summer child, allow me to tell you the story of Mesperyian, the goddess who never was and never will be.

So it all started with this tumblr post, right?

And obviously people mentioned the goddesses Aphrodite and Persephone, and the benefits of answering such goddesses as the most beautiful. But then Tumblr user 28weekslaterhater mentioned to answer the goddess Mesperyian (most beloved daughter of Hades) as the most beautiful. According to them, “jealous ho” Aphrodite burnt half of Mesperyian’s face off in a blind rage for being more beautiful than her.

This post began to spread to the fact-check-less masses of Tumblr, and more mythology sprouted up about this so-called “Mesperyian”, how she was the goddess of torture and punishment (even though a goddess of punishment already existed) and had to wear a cool mask because of the aforementioned face burning.

Everyone took it as gospel for years until various Tumblr users pointed out “hey if you happen to just… look up this goddess, the only thing you’ll find is this Tumblr post”. After that, it had been exposed that Mesperyian never fucking existed and that Tumblr user just completely made them up on the fly.

And that’s how Tumblr invented a Greek goddess

that’s religion babe!

The real gods are the ones we made along the way

stream doodles! i’m really loving the stream so far, it’s… VERY entertaining and interesting

if you can, go check out the stream and donate!!! 

I’m so glad there’s another indicator of this! I was going based off his excessive nervous face twitching (mostly his mouth) and came to the same conclusion - extensive brainwashing / assreaming that left him a shell of the person he was and not really himself at all.

I saw someone replied to you asking why he would be brainwashed and I mean, this is clear from the canon we’ve seen so far if our Cas.

Cas at his core loves humanity. He would have loved humanity and tried to help them even without Dean as he has done in the past in our world eg Herod’s period. I’m sure he rebelled many times, just as in canon we know our Cas did before he ever met Dean. It’s just that here without Dean as a catalyst and that whole story arc he wasn’t able to stay away from Heaven and find his true family, hence he is this horrific mess. He’s been brainwashed beyond recognition. Hence the twitching/eye thing.

Again I must emphasise that this is not saying that Cas is a bad person without Dean. It’s saying look how awful his life was without Dean that he was manipulated and brainwashed into basically no longer being himself at all.

It’s saying look what good Dean did for Cas, allowing Cas to become the best version of himself possible but it’s all about CAS. It’s his story. Dean is just a conduit in this regard.

It’s brilliant and exactly what we’ve been saying for years. I’m so happy :)

https://postmodernmulticoloredcloak.tumblr.com/post/173804416202/alternate-reality-castiels-damaged-eye-it

Also, I was introduced to this in my linguistics classes in college:

Foreign accent syndrome— https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_accent_syndrome

While it’s not a perfect corollary since angels are waveforms and may not, in fact, have a brain or central nervous system, I think this is really excellent evidence that also points to some kind of damage. No one has been able to pinpoint that accent and it shifts from moment to moment, and rather than buying into Misha being “terrible at accents” he might have been going for this: “although popular news articles commonly attempt to identify the closest regional accent, speakers suffering from foreign accent syndrome acquire neither a specific foreign accent nor any additional fluency in a foreign language.”

There’s been so much meta about Herr Castiel being the Cas that didn’t save Dean— imagine how much power Castiel expended resurrecting Dean, (circle of trees.jpg) and we know that he was so anxious to meet him he didn’t even get a vessel at first— just finding Dean in Hell changed him.

Mood: Anxiety

Unhuman Nature  ∞ SPN 14X07