Reblog if no one has a crush on you.

I don’t know how but my father found out I’m gay or at least he’s very suspicious of me being a lesbian and he beat the shit out of me yesterday and now I’m at my grandma’s fearing for my life lol I bought a flight ticket to get back home bc im still in morocco & my flight is due tomorrow and luckily there’s a LGBT refuge in Brussels that has opened in July so I think I’m gonna apply to move there. I really wanted to die yesterday but nah im gonna live bc lesbians ain’t quitters!!!! lesbians don’t die and I’m gonna live bitch

but now I have to drop out of uni and find a job because my f*ther clearly said that he won’t pay for my tuition fees nor my therapy sessions (and im on meds so that really sucks) & im not a minor anymore im 23 he legally doesnt owe me anything so if anyone who also lives in Brussels/Belgium knows some place where I can reach for help that would be very helpful and nice of you !!!

Btw here’s my gofundme if you guys can donate something (and only if you can afford it) it would help me a LOT thank you so much !!!!

Reblog if you support squishy bellies, have a squishy belly, or have the desire to summon satan

BELUGA BABE

beluga buss it open

No

one

eats like Gaston 

Mini wheats like Gaston

No one says “this bitch empty” and y e e t s like Gaston 

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

When Russia sends you nudes

#what the fuck happened here

This is my favorite post in all of tumblr

reminder that this post is now illegal in Russia

reblog it, because Russia can´t

Thanks Obama 

Reblog if you dont shave your legs everyday.

I just want everyone to see how unrealistic some expectations are.

my friend: [needs comfort]

me: oh Dang what are the Comfort Words

me: *flipping through the manual* there there?

my friend: *cries harder*

me: oh No they were the wrong Comfort Words

Here you go, all the Comfort Words

If you ever plan to be a parent, read this and accept it or else you WILL ruin your child.

I NEED THIS THANK YOU

Use this. That’s all I can really say.

ive said it once and ill say it again but if you live in like . california or another state where lgbt shit is decently accepted please be mindful of the fact that others have it worse than you. Indiana very recently tried to pass laws that allow for same sex couples to be banned from restaurants, in lots of states conversion therapy is still legal, and gay people are still beat for simply existing. think about that please

not to mention in lots of countries its still very much illegal and people are killed for being lgbt

yes this is fine to rb. if u live in a privileged place id appreciate it.

Much Love

So like…. I feel like I don’t appreciate my followers and mutuals enough and I just. yeah. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS!!!

I am but a small blog with only 189 followers, but I love every single damn one of you. 

Special Thanks to my amazing friends that I met on this hellish website (and wattpad bc yeah):

@rready-forreddie @woe-is-muke @gayerthanatwodollabill @ughthatsprettygay and anyone in the Two Boys in Love

Thanks to all my followers!

@valeriebevill1999 @hanna-does-stuff @itriedmybest13 @beebo-uriee @philipluster @writinguitar @minihowie04 @blyadoda @kingxjao @prophilactic @ironischphan @addictharpoon @bloodredalchemist @this-punk-rock-trash-is-shook @fluffypawshowell @llavenderlester @thisissogayalexaplayprettyodd @danandphilgalaxy @mikey-way-worships-unicorns @phanmindpalace @42-because-why-not @jealousdanh @aussiephan @superbatman6554 @doodlehowlter @queer-howell @qualitysnails @justagirlsopinion @subzero-369 @sincerelydjh @fictional-ace @i-might-just-leave-soon @gaybrenda @etherealpinof @phan-killjoy-emo-trash @dip-and-pip-trash @lunashannon @moonstone-daniel @kindafeelinhellasometimes @cha-rulet @phanyounot819 @spoopyjimminy @cantthinkofanythingatthemomentso @oh-deeyahh @realdanielhowell @dnpsthings @tomocr486 @birds-of-forgiveness @madameolympemaxime @ahhhthefeels @tinyplanetexplorerphan @taehyungkookiesworld @colourskar @wholesomehowell @teatowelhowell @danandphilstockphotos @aylaofthenhk @twentyonepilotstrashcant @anahimontero @melonphil @potterheadotaku11 @sclarab @off-to-anywhere-but-here @biaxno @sofharris @clxnquant @random-internet-hobo @septicmoophan @loyal-phan @oreos-all-the-time @heavenly-kookie @andyseagullchild @sunflowerphilly @saltyphaniel @kb865 @ilovewigglyworms @jasmaniandevil16 @endless-bees @etherealphandom @majaangel @randombants @lilyjoh6 @plastic-phantastic @introverted-poltergeist @thefamouszombiebouquet @dartcci @theultimatesupershipper @greyskiesandcats @chaoticphan (K so this blog is awesome and I just…. yes. go follow them)  @blondebooklion @confusedtrash491 @fandombusiness101 @foolforhalseyy @dianehowlter @callphanwhatyouwant @whats-a-kat @itcouldbegayerguys @catastrophicturtle @sstoneymaloney @virgils-jacket @vdankphantrash @gazal95 @emogay-trash @milomeepit @3m0-app13-p13 @datgurlmacs @donut371 @prinxiety-ships-logicality-sides @emo-sanders-sides-loving-unicorn @brendons-chemical-forehead @imaphlop @jikookaddicted @hufflepuff-from-canada @phanmail @revenge-cemetery @wisehowell @phillyboi-aesthetic @japhandreaming @thelogicalanxiouscreativeheart @the-ominous-chicken-nugget @lostinmyowndangerousmind @dan-yuna @phanbeautifultragic @philsdesktopcomputer @helloawkwardcutie @cheeseandmoths @stubblephil @trshkdrm @paleeboyy @sorta-phantastic (this blog is in my dash all the time and i love it lmao) @moregue @alexisgold @phangirlalltheway @thvandal @nephildumb @daytonwentupinflames @haribophil @caramel-macchiatos @comphanion @wooziguitargotnojams @inevitablytrash @katastrophic-k @crashqueenie @shutuphadley @sappy-phan @sadpunkclub @slightly-sour-sweets @parkertheweirdo @otaku-unicorn182 @bbitchimdrown @danhowelltrashnumber1 @spicydanhowell @glasseskitten-extra @undertaletrash6782 @loserhxwell @feleciagavin @allysonsue @22-3-13 @glasseskitten @retro-night @liveshowbants @bork-borf-boof-heck @mindlesshowell @doseofhowell @xxlonelyxx1 @sarah-howlter @nottobeeexpectedof @hobimetight @megamoose10

I  A B S O L U T E L Y  L O V E  A L L  O F  Y O U .  Y O U  A L L  M A K E  T H I S  H E L L I S H  W E B S I T E  B E T T E R!!!

(If you read this far, hey! thanks! this is a little disclaimer to say that some blogs werent tagged because they are either deactivated or sketchy af) (I HAD 8 PORN BOTS MESSAGE ME THIS WEEK WTF)

phil’s tiddies

i agree

this is so important, and it makes me soft to the core

oh look what you made me do 🙄

he lp

not my cat pls!

i saved her, but she’s seen some shit

go away

crap a dead end

oh god what was that?

it was just a cd

uh oh

well it was nice knowing you guys

holy shit

my mother’s reaction to ii:

my mom literally said "so what's the deal with that dan guy being not on fire" and i DIED

Phil’s Diss Track and Interactive Introverts Song Transcript

Introducing: Phil’s diss track, Dan playing the piano and singing, and the ending duet from Interactive Introverts. This is the best transcript I could make of the ending songs from Interactive Introverts. This is a combination of not only what I remember from my own show in Atlanta, GA, but also from about six different audio and video recordings from different shows. They all differ slightly but this is the gist of it to the best of my abilities.

~

*Phil gets out microphone, puts on sunglasses and a baseball cap*

D: Phil, please don’t do this. Oh my god, no!

P: Time for something fresh from 3 years ago.

D: I’m so sorry this is happening.

P: Might not be amazing, but you’re about to get (Phil)led in.

*Phil jumps off one of the stage benches and proceeds to dance/move like a really bad fake rapper for the entirety of the diss track*

P♫: My name’s Phil Lester, thankfully not mo, it’s finally time to make my diss track, yo. Thought I was too innocent to roast myself? Well watch out BITCH this might be bad for your health. A YouTube dinosaur, his channel’s older than your mum. He’s so insanely clumsy, always falling on his bum. Some people think he’s weird cause he doesn’t like cheeses, he’s so freaking pale you’d think the sun gave him diseases.

P: Yup, I just rhymed ‘cheeses’ with ‘diseases’.

D: He did that!

P: This is only going to get more brutal so you might have to call an ambulance for me or yourself. *Phil gets back on bench thing during this part*

P♫: *Phil jumps off bench again* He’s called amazingphil, why’s he so great? for 10 years he had hair from 2008. All the time hiding behind a fringe, and on top of all of that, he’s secretly a ginge. You quiffed it up, what’s this a re-brand? If you didn’t dye it black, you’d be totally bland. And innocent, whatever, wait til’ you’re in private. You’re mouth’s so dirty, you sound like a pirate. They call you an angel, you know that’s a lie, (D: why?) you just don’t wanna get demonetized. *dances like he’s making it rain money* Your vids are so sweet, you can’t even say crap. I bet you’d even censor a swear in this rap.

D: Wait no, Phil Phil Phil, no. You can’t swear on stage, we’ve been over this.

P: Don’t be so f*****g ridiculous. *censor beeps cover the swearing*

D: No, no. Phil, you can’t.

P: I can’t swear?

D: We’re gonna get fined.

P: What the f**k. *also censored*

D: No, Phil. Please get back to rapping.

P: Okay I’m gonna keep going…

P♫: You look like a badly photoshopped Benedict Cumberbatch. Now I realized nothing rhymes with Cumberbatch, so I guess this verse doesn’t rhyme…

D: Really? Stop, stop I’m leaving. *walks off stage*

P♫: I better get going, and end the bants. I murdered this beat, like I murder house plants. You can’t keep a cactus, why’d you want a dog? I’d give it 3 weeks until the funeral vlog. And don’t get me started on that guy called, Dan. The reason I’m here is people ship Phan. More followers than me, I’m living in his shadow, next thing you know he’ll be playin’ the piano.

*Middle screen lifts and Dan playing a white grand piano appears behind it*

D: Hey there everyone, how ya doin’? This is a little improvised song. It’s a true story about two guys called Dan and Phil.

*Phil sits on the piano*

D♫: Once upon a time, there was a boy named Dan, with brown emo hair and a weird brown tan. He spent a lot of time on the internet alone, then on youtube he found a place to call home.

D: You know where this is going.

D♫: A magical world of skateboarding cats, of vloggers, filmmakers, and some bigheaded twats. *shrugs* But Dan enjoyed this world all alone until, he met a black-haired emo called amazingphil. This Phil guy, he was weird, but also pretty rad. He talked about his life, and he wore a lot of plaid. Dan wanted to join in, but he couldn’t make his clips, so he asked, “hey, buddy, can I have some editing tips?”

*music picks back up from Phil’s Diss track*

D: Wait, what, what? Phil, no.

*Phil gets off piano to rap again*

P♫: Hey shut up Dan, this piano is whack. People want the raps so Philly is back. And you better hurry up with this story in this track. We’ve been friends for 10 years, they all know the tale. If you didn’t know me you’d be sat in jail.

D: I’d be in jail, really?

P♫: Dan’s looking at me like this is betrayal.

D: Yes, well, this is a betrayal.

P♫: I guess it’s time to Bail. *Phil walks off set*

D: What? Are you serious? Phil? Hello? Phil, come back here right now. Put down the hat. I think people would prefer if you stopped the rapping, and joined in with the piano singing. Just stand in the middle and sing something nice about the audience. You think you can do that?

P: Yeah.

P♫: The future’s unclear, but I know this is true, you’re as important to us as we are to you. We didn’t know we’d make it this far, but now we’re on a stage and here we are. *drops onto knees*

D: Very good, Phil, very good. You’re kind of kneeling in my spotlight right now. This is the Dan and Phil show, not the Phil and background piano guy show.

P: Okay.

D: Should we do this together?

P: Yes. *Phil gets back up on the piano*

D: So, what, are we forwarding the story to now?

P: Yes.

D&P♫: ‘Cause we’re two interactive introverts, interactive introverts. We don’t care if it hurts or not we just want to give the people what they want. Because, we’re interactive introverts.

P: You know it’s funny, that we’ve been friends for so long but we haven’t fallen out yet.

D: There’s plenty of stuff for us to argue about.

D♫: Your houseplants are dying.

P♫: You don’t go outside.

D♫: Your vision is blurry.

P♫: You are a furry. *while pointing at Dan*

D♫: Okay, it’s starting to fell like that this is too long.

P♫: I guess we might not make it to the end of this song…

D&P♫: ‘Cause we’re two interactive introverts, interactive introverts. Thanks for watching and for all of the memes, it’s been terrible for our self esteem. Because we’re interactive introverts, interactive introverts. We don’t care if it hurts or not we just want to give the people what they want.

*Lights go off and ending music comes on* *Lights come back on and Dan and Phil take a bow either side of the piano* *They make their goodbyes* *FIN*

~

Clearest audio recording found here from the Berlin show. Also, for a cover of the piano and singing parts, check out Grace Chan.

96 DAYS UNTIL BONE CHRISMAS NOW

MOTHERFUCKS