the thing about carrying tension in your jaw is that once you've started it's really fucking hard to stop
reblog to make your followers unclench their jaws and be painfully aware of the fact that they’re actively unclenching thier jaws
please make this post go viral i need it to show up constantly in my activity feed thereby reminding me to relax my jaw
Starving to death this morning because ive been to the new local cafe twice this week already and if i go a third time ill look desperate.
Me: I like the goods and/or services you offer in exchange for my money
The cafe, in my head: lmao cringe, kill yrself buddy
The endlessly wailing siren of my social anxiety issues is probably not going to be silenced by the people in the comments pointing out that being a regular at a restaurant is a normal thing for people to be, but I do zero-sarcasm appreciate the attempt, is very kind!
I used to walk into [redacted nonpizza store] in my area and the guy behind the counter would immediately ask me if I wanted a pizza. truly I experienced the mortifying ordeal of being known as the pizza guy
compared to that being a regular at a normal cafe ordering normal breakfast items would be a real relief
Literally dread this scenario, to have your identity *reduced down* to a single item order, to be known as such a plebian with such a restricted palette that your order can be charted in advance, oh widdle ash wants his chicken tendies uwu.
I agree having a set breakfast order is more socially acceptable than a set pizza order. But its not enough; its never enough.
Though life update: i did just go to the cafe in the end. I compromised with my anxiety by ordering a sandwich instead of my typical bagel. It was fine but not as good.
on the flipside, we went to the same place for brunch a couple years, one time my buddy orders something new, and while he’s eating five different members of the wait staff stopped by to be like “did they bring you the wrong thing?”
This thread needs a trigger warning keep the horror stories coming
There was a bakeshop near my house that made soft ginger cookies and and macarons but only 2-3 good flavors. I walked in once and the cashier (who I definitely didn’t recognize) said “let me guess - ginger cookies and cookies-n-cream macarons, right?”
Needless to say, I never returned.
I once went to a McDonald’s, the cashier said “big mac combo meal and a chicken burger, right?” and I said “yeah” and then didn’t come back for two years
This entire genre of concern so fascinatingly foreign to me! the cafeteria pizza guy knows I want 3 slices of whatever veggie pizza he has, and he will have them ready for me without me having to say anything besides a quick murmured thanks, and he smiles when he sees me and starts to grab them, and it feels so good! to be known, even a little bit, to be a small constant in someone else’s life… there’s just something so beautiful and precious and good in that, for me.
When I lived in [the city where I lived for undergrad] there was this place very close to my house with cheap and delicious lamb curry and the people at the counter knew my face and would start scooping the lamb curry into a bowl when they saw me come through the door. I thought this was lovely of them and always made sure to tip generously. Restaurant and regular is a mutually beneficial relationship.
Yeah there’s a bakery/cafe a few doors down from me and reaching the point where they a) remember my face/name and b) know my regular order meant that I can no longer get breakfast anywhere else ever.
Had the guy at the taco truck I routinely went to for lunch who asked me after a few years if I only ate burritos or something, no man I’m just don’t see the need to mix up my lunches.
As someone who’s been both front and back of house in various large and small food services: regulars account for roughly 40% of sales and thier consistency makes it easier to order supplies and keep stock levels stable.
As front of house my regulars were always a welcome sight, an easy serve and clear, a guaranteed a happy customer and pleasant interaction. Especially in diners or lunch spots where reliable turnover = tips and most people never come in more than once, having a familiar face who’s rhythms and tastes you recall makes the rest of your service work easier.
If you have any anxiety about being a regular somewhere just be sure to tip well, and you will magically transform from ‘pizza guy’ or ‘lamb curry dude’ to Beloved Favorite Regular and the servers will squabble to get you seated in thier section.
When I worked for Domino’s Pizza, there was a guy who ordered a pizza, without fail, on Thursday at 6pm. Until the day he didn’t.
One of our drivers was delivering nearby and decided to check on the guy. Turns out the guy got home, got most of the way through the door, and lost consciousness. (If memory serves, it was a diabetic episode.) Driver couldn’t revive him and called 911. Saved the guy’s life.
when i worked in a remote office when i started my job, i went to denny’s for lunch enough that i’d just walk in and a server would go “take a seat over there, I’ll be over with your iced tea to take your order in a moment”
Food service workers love their regulars, especially if you’re a good tipper and are polite, we literally look forward to seeing you every day. Also service workers don’t care if you order the same thing, and us remembering your order means we like you.
^^^^
Also no we aren’t “boiling your personality down to an item/order”, you are. We are offering you preference recall and welcoming you and your *presence* does in fact correspond to our need to give you a certain order. It’s okay for that to happen.
For all my fellow social anxiety sufferers out there. Because my local coffee shop knows I always get iced coffee or a mocha and a biscotti and it stresses me the fuck out because I’m like “What if they think my order is dumb?? What if they’re like there she goes again stuffing her face with biscottis all the time” but nothing matters and a biscotti with your coffee in the morning really makes all the difference in what kinda day you’re gonna have.
I have pretty severe social anxiety, but there was a Chinese restaurant in [town I lived in for a few years] that made some of the very best egg drop soup, vegetable lo mein, and spring rolls. I ordered that every time I went there. They would seat me by a window in a quiet spot because they saw me put earplugs on when things got noisy.
Then I moved to a different but nearby town. I’m unable to drive (due to medical reasons) and public transportation didn’t go near the town. It was a year later, when I had a study group, that I was able to go there again. We had been taking turns for what restaurant we would eat and study at. We’d be there for hours, ordering several meals, and tip heavy, around 50%. Anyone one of us who couldn’t afford to eat or tip would be covered by the rest because several of my classmates were from wealthy families. They covered me more than once in exchange for drawings.
When it was my turn, we went to the Chinese restaurant. I walked in and they immediately knew who I was and what I favored. It was pretty dead in there, so we mostly had the place to ourselves. It ended up being a six course meal and five hours of studying and discussing the project. They brought me my favs as soon as they saw my plate or bowl was empty. The bill ended up at a little over $1k.
A couple months later, a friend took me there where we had a nice lunch after I finished my last exam. The owner approached our table and told me each of the students I had brought last time were now regulars. Some brought more people, and business was booming. They gave me a little card that said I would receive free meals for the next two years, as thanks for being a regular bringing in so many new people.
Before I moved across the country, I wanted to visit the place for a final meal before leaving. The place was closed with a sign that said “moved to new location.” The new location was near the university. So we went there, and the owner informed me that because so many of their new regulars were uni students, they moved. The place was easily 3x the size of their original. They told me it was always packed during meal times, and they now opened for breakfast with tradition Chinese breakfast foods. Business was booming, and all because of their regulars.
Being a regular is one of the very best compliments you can offer a restaurant, diner, meal trucks, etc. They love seeing you, especially if you tip well. I will likely never eat there again due to living more than 2500 miles away, but it feels good that my love for egg drop soup, vegetable lo mein, and spring rolls helped out a wonderful restaurant.
Be a regular. They love you.
Became a regular at a local diner when I worked overnights. We’d go in for breakfast before heading home. The waitress, Brenda, knee our orders to a t. She’d bring our coffees (tea for me), make sure we were getting “the usual?” and then we’d have the most amazing cheap breakfast. On the rare occasion she wasn’t in, her colleague also knew our drink orders (and would get excited if she remembered our food). Sadly, haven’t been since 2019 when I moved back to days.
When I loved in one apartment, I’d go to one specific Canadian coffee chain. They’d see me walking toward the door and start my drink, no matter how busy they were. When I got to the counter, they’d ask if it was a bagel or donut night 😂).
When I moved, I’d go to a different Canadian coffee chain. There, I was “BLT Lady” (obvious reasons). “BLT Lady is here!” was yelled many times. Sometimes I’d get “did anyone make uour BLT yet?” One time while still in line, the woman yelled down to me “we don’t have your bread, is the other kind okay?” while serving someone else. I blushed soo hard, but was super grateful they knew me.
I then discover the Seattle coffee chain. There, I’d walk in and get greeted by name, they’d key in my order before I got to the counter, and already be staring my drink. Once, the woman asked “your macchiato today?” while she had already started. I loved being a regular. Especially on those early mornings where speech wasn’t a thing. I could just make a vague gesture and say “coffee?” And they knew it was my macchiato.
I found being a regular helped with my anxiety issues. Not having to speak as much, because they know what I’m there for.
If any of the people find this, I want you to know I genuinely miss you and hope you’re having a great life..❤️
That bit about being a regular helping anxiety, that is so true.
Maybe it's because I was a barista and knew from the other side how valuable regulars are, but I find that being a regular really reduces my social anxiety.
Pre-COVID, I got breakfast in the caf three days a week. The grill chef would see me coming and pop my egg on the grill for my breakfast sandwich. If I, God forbid, were switching it up that day, I'd tell him before he could get that egg down, but otherwise I'd get my breakfast sandwich with my egg with the "crispedy crunchedy edges" (his words) without ever having to ask.
Some days, when by 8am I already knew it was going to be a bad day, that not having to dredge up words was a sanity-saver. And other days, knowing I could joke with him or just chill and listen to his music while he cooked got me in the right frame of mind.
And for him, I was a safe customer, yeah? Few surprises, guaranteed not to complain to his boss about the funky music, with an order he didn't have to think hard about.
(On the other hand, when he went on vacation? Social anxiety NIGHTMARE. The other guy just pointed me to the soggy sandwiches under the warmer like why would I want to stand in line when one was there? I couldn't explain so I'd slink upstairs and re-toast the sad english muffin tops.)
I like being a regular. It means I know the rules and I'm known and I'm not going to make a damn fool of myself. Much.
THE MOM IS RIGHT. DONT GET RID OF PHYSICAL MEDIA. YOU WILL REGRET IT. YOU WILL REGRET IT. DONT LET SPOTIFY CONTROL YOUR POSSESSIONS
Spotify regularly disables songs I love because they can't be bothered paying the license fees for Australia.
I buy physical copies of things. Then I stream them for convenience.
But I still have the thing.
Because, y'all, shit just goes away sometimes.
I bought a movie through VHX once, and forgot to download a local copy. And then VHX took down the storefront the independent movie was sold through.
And now I don't have the movie I fuckin' paid for. You know what I do have?
The physical poster for the movie I bought at the same time.
Fuck me. Keep your physical copies.
Everyone in my daily life looks down on me for finding music on youtube instead fo getting on spotify.
Me, a 90s child and semi-refined cave-person : ooga download youtube-to-mp3 for free!
Laugh it up, but I have never lost a song.
ugh, this is so upsetting. I know it's probably for the laughs but why are they pushing this mom to get rid of her CDs?
This is double stupid btw: in the library i work (mind you, big public library, so big budget) we just recently opened a whole new area with lots of devices that digitalize physical media: 8mm Video, VHS, disc records and behold...even CDs!
So while these devices exist, why would you throw this treasure chest full of CDs we see here on the vid out of the window?
Damn he's got a great voice. Including the original comic panel below:
[ID: Single panel from an X-Men comic, featuring two younger people listening to the above monologue.]
A useful article from King Arthur Flour (my beloved) on baking while disabled.
This genuinely might make me cry. I already deeply appreciate King Arthur for making the best GF 1 for 1 flour. And having good recipes. But an article posted by them from someone with disabilities about how to do the thing even with disabilities? That’s just genuinely lovely. I know that my bad there is low, but it’s low for a reason and hopefully stuff like this can continue to raise that bar for disabled people like me.
I love to see this! Another of my favorites is the baking with arthritis post.
King Arthur Flour is great flour with an even greater website. (I say this as someone who is expected to make their pumpkin bread for the family every Thanksgiving.)
Not needlework related, but this is a very good resource for people who need it.
“The average US president has been charged with 1.56 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 72, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
The fact that you made this mathematically accurate made my tummy warm
This is my new answer whenever I’m asked why one should either (a) drop the outlier or (b) focus on the outlier to figure out WTF is going on there….
With a small correction - so far, 71 felonies to Trump (34 NY State felonies, 37 Federal) 1.54 felonies per presidential capita.
Can you tell me why Frodo is so important in lotr? Why can't someone else, anyone else, carry the ring to mordor?
but someone else could.
that’s the whole point of frodo—there is nothing special about him, he’s a hobbit, he’s short and likes stories, smokes pipeweed and makes mischief, he’s a young man like other young men, except for the singularly important fact that he is the one who volunteers. there is this terrible thing that must be done, the magnitude of which no one fully understands and can never understand before it is done, but frodo says me and frodo says I will.
(when boromir is thinking of how he can use the ring to defend gondor, when aragorn is thinking of how it brought down proud isildur, when elrond is holding council and gandalf is thinking of how twisted he would become, if he ever dared—)
but then there’s frodo, who desires nothing except what he has already left behind him, and says, I will take the Ring.
it is an offer made out of absolute innocence, utter sincerity. It is made without knowing what it will make of him—and frodo loses everything to the ring, he loses peace and himself and the shire, he loses the ability to be in the world. It’s cruel, the ring is cruel, it searches out every weakness you have and feeds on it, drinks you dry and fills you with its poison instead, the ring is so cruel.
and frodo picks it up willingly. for no other reason except that it has to be done.
(the ring warps boromir into a hopeless grasping dead thing, the power of the palantir turns denethor into an old man, jealous and suspicious, it bends even saruman, once the proudest of the istari, into a mechanised warlord, sitting in his fortress and bent over his perverse creations—all the best of intentions, laid waste)
but there’s a reason gollum exists in the narrative, which is to show—well, to show what frodo might have been. because even as frodo grows mistrustful and wearied, as the burden of this ring grows heavier and heavier, he is never gollum. he is gentle to gollum. he is afraid—god frodo is so afraid for 2/3 of these books he is so tired and afraid, but he keeps moving, he walks though it would pull him into the ground, because he asked for this, he said he would.
someone else could have carried the ring to mordor, I suppose. the idea of a martyr is not dependent on the particular flesh and blood person dying for some greater purpose. but such a thing has to be chosen, lifted onto your shoulders for the right reason, the truest reasons, and followed into the dark, though it would see you burnt through and bled out.
I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.
y'know say what you want about tumblr (and I have), but this is still probably the simplest and most powerful distillation of the heart of the Lord of the Rings I’ve ever read. I think back to it all the time
hey. to the fat person reading this who wants to transition or is transitioning. make your transition goals fat like you. please. the things you aim to gain from transition can be gained while fat. you can be/express your gender and be fat. there is nothing wrong with that, no matter what anyone says. i promise.
let yourself exist. let yourself be happy. you have just as much of a right as every other person in this world to do that, especially as you transition. it's okay. you're going to be alright, and you're also going to look fucking awesome. you already look fucking awesome. it's your body. own it.
Honestly....... It may be confusing at first, but once you know the pattern it's actually pretty easy to understand ungrammatical sentences on AAC.
You know that many autistics struggle with "I" and pronouns, right? Assume they'll simply drop it and refer to themselves in third person (their name).
Many AAC devices make punctuation difficult. There will be a period after a word because the device just . does . this . thing . here. And often no commas because that's complicated too.
Maybe "I am", "This is", "There is" or "It's" are difficult to find - assume it's "is", or sometimes "I am" is just "Am".
Future and past tense can be difficult too. The context helps here.
"Is not [name] . Say. Is . Say . Green." - "That's not what I said. I said it's green."
Plus, sometimes words are hard to find so it's easier to describe them.
"Red water" or "waterfall eyes" could be easier/faster to find and write than "blood" or "I am crying/sad", depending on the device or the language skills.
And if you really don't understand something because the preposition is unclear and you don't know if the thing in question is in the bathroom, in front of the bathroom, on the sink, under the sink, etc..... Just ask for clarification.
Once you know what words are important for the meaning of the sentence, it's not that hard. Don't ignore those of us who struggle with expressive language just because you're used to "proper" English.
yes yes yes ! take long time write things in AAC , and also one more " unique " problem : similar buttons . in speech english right now and soon easy tell apart from each other , but here how look in duckie AAC :
words not relate to each other can be accidentally switch because buttons look similar or very close together , and take extra work understand if not know how person set up AAC . ( duckie layout for example is all custom )
not use very much verb tense because have hard time even figure out which one right unless feel like spend even longer to write , and even have brain energy for that . which not always do .
especially when brain overwhelm , meltdown or frustrate or seizure , even AAC words become very simple and repetitive .
do have ability type in extra words , words that not have in AAC , but that can also really frustrate and take time because need think about if this new word make sense . so sometimes say same easy words lots , rather than say more complicate words , even if know those words .
and for every time say not to comment on how write , always just feel like more people do comment . like people congratulate self for tolerate or find fucking cute , when really say very important things .
[image description: two very similar aac buttons. both buttons depict a stick figure smiling while looking at their watch on their wrist. in the first image, they are pointing at the watch. in the second, they are a little larger and not pointing at the watch. end image description.]
Linguistically speaking, often times when we don't understand someone who is speaking our native language but in a way that's different than what we expect (either with an accent or different grammar or something), our difficulty is actually caused by us unconsciously dropping our half of the responsibility in the conversation (the speaker/writer is responsible for what they say, so they are expected to put in their best effort to be understood - with the understanding that this fluctuates with mood and energy and also that everyone should be able to speak their own native dialect even if this causes some difficulty because the dialects of the 2+ parties may be partially mutually unintelligible - and the listener/reader is equally responsible for how they understand what the speaker/writer said, so they're expected to make their best effort to try to understand). We drop our half of the responsibility as listeners/readers unconsciously when we have some form of learned predjudice - this is a normal thing that everyone does sometimes, but it's also something that we can and should correct as often as possible. So, the next time you find yourself struggling to understand someone who is using your language differently than you would, then take a moment to question whether you've been putting in your best effort to understand
I’m a cis man sure but i also wanna opt out of the gender binary. None of that shit is my fault or my responsibility and i don’t want any part of it
Believing the gender binary is stupid horseshit doesn’t require me to change my gender actually
Yeaheyah you get it. Not trans but i believe in their beliefs. Sometimes i remember people form gender complexes around what alcoholic beverages or colors they like and i just wonder how they’re not fucking exhausted from keeping up this stupid fucking horseshit. Just do whatever you want forever
@nimagine i know u reblogged this from me but ur so correct 🙏 get peer reviewed
Contact your local library (or comment on their social media) positively for any pride/LGBTQIA+/queer-related displays or events they have going on.
Seriously.
What I’m seeing and hearing from the (mostly US-based) library workers in my groups and social circles is that the anti-queer (anti-gay, anti-trans, anti-drag queen story time, etc.) comments and complaints that have ramped up in the past year aren’t going away. Even library workers with supportive coworkers/bosses/boards are steeling themselves to deal with an avalanche of garbage, or are second-guessing their displays and events because the amount of vitriol can wear a person down so much. And the ones without supportive people or work environments? It’s worse.
Give the library something else: give them both the ammo (by being one of the numbers they can count worth the positive group) if they need to show their community isn’t wholly negative. Give them the compliment of knowing that their work got appreciated.
I realize the above might sound simple, like suspiciously simple, but you don’t have to just take my word for it—just take a gander at the notes:
(Now is it possible to do more? Yes! Going to events when you can is always good! Voting for public officials who support the library—library boards in some places, but also school board members who don’t want to ban books, city councils who don’t act disgusted at drag queen story hour, etc. Contact your elected folks if they’re being anti-library, etc.)
But as people will often point out on posts about libraries, they’re not all the same: your library may not have events, or displays, for a number of reasons. You can still support your library with easy things like:
The current tsunami of anti-library, anti-queer hate didn't appear overnight, but if you're not plugged in library circles, you may not realize how bad things really are. Supporting your library is a year-round endeavor, but as you can see, it can also be super easy. Libraries are for everyone, not just right-wing HOA members—so make sure that they hear from the rest of us, too.
My absolute hottest take is that, from a culturally relative perspective, no food is bad. None of it. It's an expression of culture, art, history, ecology, material conditions, subjective taste. It's all inedible pap to somebody and the taste of childhood for someone else. Americans be eating cheesed burger. Pea wet is as good as gravy in Wigan. The French eat snails and the Inuit eat seal, the Germans eat sauerkraut and the Russians drink kvass, the Inca ate cavy and the Romans ate flamingo. People around the world have been eagerly awaiting their serving of simple bread or thin porridge or fermented milk product or pickled whatever-the-fuck since we learned to cook food over fire. We all love the slop we grew up eating. Food is a reflection of millennia of culture and loving human artistic expression. Attempting to extrapolate largely harmless online food banter into actual serious comparative rankings or half-baked critical analyses of cultures based on how much you subjectively don't like what they eat is a miserable way to live. Live a little. Peace and love on the only planet with food.
This is a post of critical support for bland English cuisine and unhinged Brazilian pizzas and everything else I don't understand. Turning food, something literally every person on earth enjoys, into a moral or cultural judgement is, well, if it's not full-blown reactionary and parochial... then it's at least kind of nasty, huh?
Very upsetting that on this fresh morning in this broken world I am subjected to emails
I don’t know what you’re doing with your one wild and precious life but I’m making tables in word documents
The soft animal of my body does not love spreadsheets
All my life I was a bride married to amazement but unfortunately I also had to attend zoom meetings
I'm impressed that he has four likely and possible-sounding names to pick from.
Which of the 69 Love Songs is your favorite?
Depends on the day. Papa was a Rodeo was the first song I fell in love with, Zebra was the last song I hummed (yesterday). It’s likely to be any of them except Love is like Jazz or Punk Rock Love.
I had no idea that chickens could?? float?? or swim??? I don’t know why I’ve never thought of chickens as buoyant. I never picture chickens anywhere near water. what else have I been missing
C'est les swimming poules
Reblogging for the pun and the pun alone
