(ʘ‿ʘ) I’m about to SNAP

HEAH

I’ve thought about this post every day for the past 5 years

comedians: it's so difficult to be funny nowadays without sjws getting offended

robert pattinson, without an inch of effort:

B……….. babby. …….

I’m so sorry 

Araki on what his name would be in Italian or French, Jojolion vol.21.

Fanfiction is becoming people’s primary form of entertainment right now because most media right now is so cheap, bland, recycled, and sponsored by people who love money more than the source material. Fanfiction is written for free by people who genuinely love what they’re writing about. That’s why it’s better. That’s why it’s more satisfying. Fanfiction is a home-cooked meal made for yourself and for your friends. Media today is junky fast food spoiled by too much grease and the knowledge that the people producing it are being criminally mistreated and underpaid. 

FANFICTION IS A HOME-COOKED MEAL

WOW. BRO.THAT’S. 

Heroes of our times: this woman who stopped shaving, plucking, moisturizing, fixing her hair and applying make-up because her douche boyfriend kept complaining she spent too much time in the bathroom and YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.

[Spoiler: he learned women don’t actually ‘look like that’ and tried to force her to ‘take care of herself’ again, while she realized she was wasting so. much. time. and is now living her best hairy, unplucked, unmoisturized, unblow-dried and unlipsticked life. Truly a blessèd day.]

For once the you won’t believe what happened next line was actually correct. Kinda nice to see people willing to learn and grow.

Reblog if your only reason to shave is to also feel like a dolphin

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

I can back this up. It isn’t only their shelters.

I have a family friend who worked at our local Salvation Army headquarters as a a secretary. This particular office took all the Christmas donations for children in need, put them in a warehouse, and on a designated day the staff and their friends picked through them all, taking whatever they wanted. She saw people hauling away bikes donated for specific families. Some local children had hundreds of dollars of gifts donated in their name, and on Christmas they received three cheap things, items likely not even from the person who sponsored them.

My friend quit, and I’ve not given them a dime of my money since then.

Do not give to the Salvation Army.

Do Not. Give. To. Salvation. Army

My turn.

I’m a wildfire and disaster logistics specialist.

I deal with a lot of agencies who provide disaster relief.

I used to say the Salvation Army’s disaster services were the one (literally the ONE) good thing they did.

They would come in, set up a canteen trailer, make and pass out hot coffee and donated food in a disaster, usually being one of the first agencies to get there and the last to leave.

Then I found out.

Every time they did this, regardless of if they were actually invited or deployed by the agency in charge (usually FEMA, sometimes others) they would SELF-DEPLOY. Meanjng they would just show up. Ok. That’s not TOO bad, sometimes agencies have to take initiative and get there before the red tape is sorted out. BUT. They, after they left at the end of the incident, they would send FEMA or the host agency a BILL. They used one or two paid employees (usually the driver of the truck and a supervisor); and many VOLUNTEERS, but they would bill for EVERYONE’s Labor at standard federal rates. They would bill for the food they distributed even though it was all donated by another agency or private parties. They would bill for the coffee they made and the supplies. Except they would use electricity from the shelter location, water from donations or from the shelter, and in many cases, they would get the coffee and industrial filters DONATED, but bill for them at retail prices.

Don’t FUCKING give to the Salvation Army.

oh god theres an entire new generation of invader zim fans who dont know about bloody gir,,,,,,,

alright story time: the fucked up thing about abt bloody gir is its not some creepypasta attempt to make a cute kid show character SCARY and EDGY, that would make far, far too much sense.

it was an actual image meant to appear in the show. it was going to be a shot of GIR with glowing red eyes, covered in a dripping red substance that appeared to be human blood (iirc it was going to turn out to be ketchup, but it was definitely meant to look like an out of control, murderous GIR, covered in blood) an Nickelodeon was like “why are you like this?” and did not let that image into the show

so the iz crew did the reasonable,mature thing and hid semi-transparent bloody GIRs in random frames of the damn show and you can find people pointing out which parts of which episodes have them and this isnt a shitty creepypasta its a well documented real thing that we let happen

I’d like ao3 to know that I love and appreciate its service to the fan community

You can tell AO3 you appreciate us by sending a support ticket with whatever it is you’d like to say, using the link at the bottom of any page! We really enjoy getting nice support tickets, it makes for a pleasant change, and we anonymize them and share them with the rest of the organization, and store them for anyone in the org to view whenever they’re feeling down. 

Signed, a Support co-chair who likes having nice support tickets to read once in a while.

Hey guys reblog this version because that’s really cool!

aw this is rlly nice!

I didn’t know this was a thing!

I don’t watch the Bachelor but I’m really glad i know people who do so that I can be informed that on tonight’s episode the current bachelor took off all his recording equipment jumped over a fence and ran away into the forest

holy shit?

youtube link for international viewers

According to Colton, he actually expected a producer or someone from the team at abc to be on the other side. When he realized he was truly alone for the first time in weeks he just took off into the Portuguese countryside. Now keep in mind, he’s a former football player and super athletic in general so they had to get in trucks to catch him.  

I don’t give a cold fuck about the facts of what happened or didn’t here, I’m just in awe of this description making it sound like this dude was a fucking raptor busting out of Jurassic Park with handlers racing against the clock to Bring Him In Before He Kills Again™

visual representation of my mood today 

this ^^^^

Medical diversity is key.

ben shapiro seriously saying “you’re stupid and poor. but i can wear lifts” to a bot made to call him short is so fucking funny

yall i just found the funniest thing on the harry potter wiki

There’s also the general problem with the idea of speaking Parseltongue.

Snakes are deaf.

maybe JK Rowling don’t know anything about snakes