feed me i’m a baby!

basically

dead

Ursula, saying it like it is.

Real talk with Ursula

Unbelievable mime with balloon

The amount of muscular control this requires is absurd. That man needs to be as fit as a goddamn dancer to do this shit.

Unbelievable mime with balloon

The amount of muscular control this requires is absurd. That man needs to be as fit as a goddamn dancer to do this shit.

when friends talk to me about their men

@kinglesbiancore

That’s just the best.

“Captain Marvel should smile more” “she looks so serious all the time” “she should smile more” “she’ll look better with a smile”

BRIE LARSON SNAPPED

My God, did some clueless asshole actually say that?

This is hilarious

“No, that’s just a depiction of the female experience.”

“wish I could get away with wearing stuff like that” is shorthand for “I think you dress like a clown but I’m also aware that you’re cooler than me”

people who can graciously hide that they don’t like people are so terrifying. last year while working on tech for a play i asked my friend how he became friends with another guy on the crew and he got quiet, looked straight into my soul and said “he’s not my friend. i fucking hate him.” i lost 5 years of my life

A I R  S I G N S

I hate this post because I am an air sign and I don’t see how this stuff is terrifying. This is just, you know, how you do.

You’ve got something that needs to get done, it doesn’t really matter if you like a person, you can still treat them well and be kind to them in order to make things go smoothly. Just because I hate someone doesn’t mean they need to know it.

This just in, only air signs act like fucking adults

But seriously, if alien PLANTS ever show up, citrus and oaks are going to be trying to breed with them IMMEDIATELY. 

We make fun of ourselves for being willing to fuck aliens, but I guarantee you that citrus and oaks are right there with us, aggressively trying to cross-pollinate with any new and interesting conquests. 

all this time, the real whores were the lemons, not the women who stole them 

@keyhollow

Truth

fuck all philosophy except for whatever the hell Diogenes was trying to teach

direct action

How about just being polite & going into a debate with those who hold diffrent beliefs then you?

how about you eat my shit and hair

staying true to spirit

the OG of the vicious burn

Diógenes said you couldn’t spit anywhere but in the face of a rich man because once this rich dude invited him into his house and literally told him you can’t spit on anything that touches the floor so Diógenes spit in this guys face

here is a very good painting of Diógenes in his tub that i had the good fortune of actually seeing earlier this year

I love that Diogenes is making a comeback in the twenty-first century.

This is legitimately one of the funniest things I’ve seen in weeks.

No no you're missing the best part

Reblog if you can speak, read, or at least kinda communicate in more than one language.

Holt being an absolute SAVAGE

This is an underrated joke

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

I want a new character

Then make one.

“Then make one” has the same energy as “then perish” but like. Opposite. Same and opposite.