dad joke central

Hi I’m Karl and I never passed the point in life where I stopped playing with Legos. I’m forever petitioning to play wolverine and also to wipe my Xena episodes off the face of the earth. I like to eat, watch trash tv, and harass my fiancé.

Please talk to me I need attention, it’s my life force @ toboldlyhoe

@mrbrightsneakers I’m fantastic thanks. I’m going to try cooking something. wish me luck

Woke up from a nap with cotton mouth and not knowing which day it is. How are y’all?

Chinese food can actually be breakfast lunch and dinner

She’s appreciating art and so am I

Went out for a walk and came back with McDonald’s. This defeats the purpose.

Remember in Twister when they just drove through that house?

I’ve been thinking about this for 10 minutes

Covered in 3 dogs. moving is overrated

On 90 day fiancé this man doesn’t want to have sex with his woman 3 times a day and that’s cowardice, mate

I thought @bonjourabi stayed up all night to play animal crossing but she was actually staying up to watch 90 day fiancé and somehow that’s even more hilarious

Watching binging with babish baking brioche to make the sweet roll from Skyrim and I have never so badly wanted to learn how to bake

Let’s make 2020 bingo cards

Discuss

When bacon is extra crunchy

Me when I started dating Abi: Iced coffee is for weaklings

Me now:

Iced coffee is superior