do you ever look at Successful™ people your age and feel like you’re just floating your way thru life like a very bewildered and directionless bumblebee

Twitter has a 140 character limit, yet I still found a way to tell one of the longest and most obnoxious knock-knock jokes of all time within a single tweet.

I am more proud of this accomplishment than any human right has the right to be.

The dads are evolving

They have learned our technology, they control our communication

The endless cycle of not wanting to get in the shower and then not wanting to get out of the shower

whats ET short for?

because he’s got little legs

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

Without corporate blogs none of you would know when to stop running memes into the ground

corporate blogs are the meme carnivores that keep the population in check. a detestable yet essential part of the meme ecosystem

there are too many versions of me in the universe! the girl i bumped into but didn’t stop to say sorry to has a version of me in her mind. the guy i let borrow my homework has another version of me in his. even my friends, my family, and everyone i’ve ever met in my life has their own version of me in their minds that i’m not even aware of

i just went on facebook and

*light turns green at an intersection*

Me: Wow nice Lorde reference :)

Don’t cry because its over

cry because you’re ugly

The only good article Cosmo has ever done

Protesters held an LGBTQ dance party last night outside of Mike Pence’s home in DC

I spent at least 10 minutes watching this on repeat. I cried so much. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long time.

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ive had this queued this march

but have y’all seen the sequel

dont fuck with hello kitty

studies show I still miss lexa