one day you think: I want to die. and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book. and I want to die turns day by day into want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun, I want a cleaner kitchen, I want a better job, I want to live somewhere else. I want to live.
- via duckbunny
You've gotta learn to stop forcing things: conversations, connections, attention, or affection. If it has to be forced, it isn't meant for you. Being ok with losing people who are ok with losing you, is such an underrated power move. It flows or it goes.
For anyone worried because they write the same trope more than once: I love that shit. I will love that first one and I will still be excited for the thirtieth one. Let these idiots do the same thing over and over again. We deserve that.
I am the second choice.
The one you don't bother to look at until the first option is gone.
I am pretty but not the prettiest.
I am smart, but not the smartest.
I am sweet, but never the sweetest.
I am simply not enough.
Inadequate, inept, invisible, insufficient, unsatisfactory, and sometimes unacceptable.
I will perhaps never be good enough.
I am the ill-fated second choice,
The one who you think of only when things go the wrong way.
- Afreen
“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”
— Tony Baskin
“Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I’m quiet it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts.”
— Kamla Bolanos
I had a dream about my own Will Graham onlyfans AU, and it was just Hannibal opening his iPad and finding out that Will collaborated with some guy for the first time and all the videos were titled “my therapist _____ me” and he left comments like “I’d like to see his credentials” and “I bet he’s not even a real therapist” on every single video until he was blocked.
heres some autistic Will Graham headcanons because he deserved to be more autistic.
pretty much all of these are based off my own tism experiences
- makes hannibal get rid of some of his suits because he hates the texture
- is actually a very picky eater (more texture shit, especially with meat. will make a face) but tries not to be rude
- wraps up in towels when he's overstimulated (he kinda does this in show after a nightmare!
i know it was because he was sweaty shut up and let me have this) - likes when his dogs lay on him
- seems like a guy who rocks to stim
- is good at being sarcastic but not always great at picking up on sarcasm
anyway
featuring a meme i made
There's so much to be said about the line "They know" in Mizumono. It has so many different meanings. "They" is so many people.
Will is saying "Jack knows you're the Chesapeake Ripper".
Will is saying "Kade Prurnell and the FBI know we're all breaking the law."
Will is saying "Alana knows about you, about us."
But when you say the word "they", you talk about others. It's someone else. It's exclusive of the speaker. And isn't that the kicker? They all knew something. They all had goals.
Jack's goal was to kill and/or apprehend Hannibal.
The FBI's goal was to take in Jack and Will.
Alana's goal was to protect Will and herself.
But Will says "They know" because he isn't included in any of this knowledge. He doesn't have a clear goal. He doesn't know what he wants. Not until it's too late.
Did you notice in Mizumono that when Will gets out of the cab at Hannibal's house, he gets out sort of slow and unsure, but still relatively calm, until he sees Alana laying on the front walk? Then he hurries. Then he seems alert. Then he gets out his gun. It's a quick change. He's panicking because these people who are alive and with him are hurt.
Then boom, another quick change, because Abigail, who was thought dead and separated from him, is not hurt, she's here, and suddenly so is Hannibal, and the regret is replaced with panic. How did this happen? How is Abigail alive? Why didn't they leave? Why aren't they safe and far from here?
And you know why?
It's because Hannibal and Abigail, they know. They know (or at the very least Hannibal did) that Will betrayed them. They know that Will was supposed to be with them. And they know that it can not be that way, not now.
And Will, the double agent, the loyal soldier and the lovesick fool, he was blind. He did not know. He couldn't have.
One more thing about Naka-Choko.
So there's the scene where Will, Hannibal and Alana are in Jack's office and Jack is confronting Will about Freddie's sudden disappearance in Wolf Trap. And they discuss this and then the next scene is in Hannibal's kitchen, he and Will are just coming in.
So after they discussed with Jack, was Hannibal like "so wanna hang out? Wanna come over?" Or was Will carrying the meat with himself the whole time and he was like "I have something for you to cook. Can i come over". And Hannibal must have been like "SURE. HERE'S ALSO A COPY OF MY HOUSE KEY YOU CAN COME WHENEVER YOU WANT"
You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them. You can miss someone every day and still be glad they are no longer in your life.
Hannibal died twice in the snow: the first death was the little boy who hadn’t yet lost Mischa and the second was the man who thought his freedom was what he valued most. After kneeling in surrender, he emerged transformed both times. Like an imago, his completed his final stage of transformation when he tumbled from the cliff into the water with Will. This death he welcomed, finally finding true peace and acceptance, two souls clicking into place, blurring into one and emerging together from their baptism. And it is beautiful.