🗣🗣 EAT THE RICH

I’m kinkshaming all of Germany

Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”

Dicke means Fat or Thick

this post only gets worse

super dickman’s thick nuts

Why am I laughing so hard

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

I miss the old rihanna

me and my sibling

its the cash Biden reblog in 30 seconds for money in your future

i

when you try to do minimal damage to a pokemon to capture it, but instead kill it

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

this is the funniest thing i have ever read

INCREDIBLE PHOTO <3

link below to see:

http://sh-meet.bigpixel.cn/?from=groupmessage&isappinstalled=0&fbclid=IwAR1CWHqrxwZ1OUHem0CjjLrTBDH2j2cS4zISRo_2a6coC-A_YkFRr6QzMls

credit to: ketul

Zoomed in and found this gem

I think I found someone who knows about the camera

Hello there, observant person!

uh oh

i encourage you guys to click the link it’s hella rad

bonus:

special protected fire hydrant

Bucket

Hello darkness my old friend

damnnnnn 

w h

You survive every single thing in your life except one

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands.  10/10 post, dude.

Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?

Like, did you read it orrrrr?

Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES

It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.

Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.

1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.

or

2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.

So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.

OP is right about honey, there’s nothing inhumane about it. buy local honey, it’s good for the bees. but it’s the demand for tequila killing the bats. “vegans and agave” is a cute way of distracting the blame. don’t drink tequila.

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

I’m horrified at myself because I randomly decided on 4:12AM for an obscure and horrible hour in the morning, but after I posted I glanced down at the clock and 

did i just vaguepost about myself

There are two things I love about this post: 

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

get the fuck outta here with this “gays can’t drive” and “gays can’t cook” shit i do BOTH. don’t be disrespectful

but can you do math?

don’t. don’t do this to me

A coat rack that looks better in your coat than you do