hi! my name is jackson (he/him)! i'm a minor and a selfshipper and i really like seto kaiba
nsfw and 18+ only blogs + proshippers dni!
AITA for inviting my classmates to a new theme park?
I am a young (16m) entrepreneur. As the result of my position, I received a unique private education. However, being under the age of eighteen, it was still mandated that I attend public school. Due to my intelligence and previous tuition, I felt ostracized from my peers and uninterested in the assignments, having already exceeded the level being worked at. I was recently witness to the tragic death of my stepfather and still transitioning into my inheritance, the presidency of our family corporation, thus I am naturally facing a lot of pressure and unsatisfaction with my responsibilities. To relieve this, I turn to Duel Monsters (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yu-Gi-Oh!_Trading_Card_Game) — here is where my schoolmate comes in.
Yugi Mutou, sixteen year old student of Domino High and employee of Kame Game, former owner of one of the famous Blue-Eyes White Dragons ( https://yugioh.fandom.com/wiki/Blue-Eyes_White_Dragon , https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/yu-gi-ohfanon/images/0/0a/Blue-Eyes_White_Dragon.png/revision/latest?cb=20100824151830 ). I am the world’s #1 player + collector and have always had a lifelong dream to own the famous Blue-Eyes card — I was thrilled when I was told that his grandfather had one in his possession. We arranged a meeting where I was able to verify it’s authenticity and proceeded to make multiple large offers to buy, all of which were declined.
Overwhelmed with the possibility that I would be separated from such an important piece of dueling history, I began a plan to obtain it through non-conventional means. At school, I requested to meet Yugi with the card again, which he obliged. In his distraction, I replaced his copy of Blue-Eyes with a photo-accurate recreation. I understand the idea that this may be immoral, but while not tournament legal, the card was only used for display and I would be putting her to better use. It didn’t go as planned. Yugi noticed the difference, and in the ensuing argument, I felt threatened and ended up hitting him with a metal suitcase. (It didn’t injure him, he recovered extremely quickly.)
Instead of legal action, he chose to challenge me to a match of Duel Monsters. As I previously mentioned, I am the highest acclaimed gamer in the world, so I easily accepted. The outcome of the match is irrelevant, but it opened my eyes to an extremely promising way to pioneer the gaming world. My dueling partner possessed the power to manifest lifelike images of the Duel Monsters in our decks and pitched this to me in our match. Impressed and excited by the potential of his concept, I’ve dedicated my time to developing the example on a mass scale for one of my new theme park projects.
I plan to show him, but as it’s based off of one of his designs, my legal team has extensive concerns with the originality of it and fears that if it’s “too successful” we will be facing a huge lawsuit. I’m unconcerned as I believe no amount of success with this project will be too much, but thought it would be interesting to get second opinions. Does this make me an asshole?
Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.
Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.
Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.
You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.
As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.
Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.
This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.
A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.
REBLOG THIS IF ITS OKAY AND YOU'RE COMFORTABLE FOR ANONS TO SEND TO RANDOM LETTERS FROM UR F/O
@coldazure‘s Kaiba design! He does look cool in glasses. And even more like a nerd.
Etsy // Twitter // Instagram
🐈⬛ Hiii, my name’s Donnie (18, it/its), I’m a nblm/mlm self-shipper who’s a bit too passionate about film and internet horror sometimes
🪦 My main f/o is Edward (Edward Scissorhands) forever and ever, but unfortunately I’m currently also focused on The Once-ler (The Lorax 2012)
🐈⬛ My selfship blog is my main, so all interactions will come from here! I also have some sideblogs— @frostythenightmaremakingmachine (bandom) and @transmascdovewing (warrior cats)
🪦 Follow/promo me and I promise you that I will fill your dash with the most insane Once-ler posting you’ve seen in the current year 2023
(art by @/kaibaspuppy and @/sandwichcookieships respectively!)
💕 hola! im kie im your local biromantic biracial selfshipper who loves weird little freaks. i enjoy cartoons and corny 80s horror movies!
🛸 i have many many f/os (so many that its Straight Up Impossible to list them all) but currently ive been thinkin abt the warden (super.jail), turbo/king candy (wreck-it ralph), and unfortunately ray manchester/captain man (he.nry da.nger). yeah i know im not happy abt it either /lh
💔 basic dni criteria. pr*ship get away from me i will make soup from your bones
💘 thats about all! i hope we can be friends ^_^ <3
Blue-Eyes White Dragon Figure by MegaHouse, from Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters
U can put in the tags specifics like pastel pink or mustard yellow this just seems fun teehee :o)
