I can debunk literally every single claim your ed makes. Hit me with the worst it has to offer and I'll tell u why ur disordered thoughts are fake news
holding my own face in my own hands and screaming “there is no connection without an open heart! you must be brave! you must be honest! you must be true!” in the mirror
fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.
hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.
hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy
hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it
hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently
hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love
horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho
to be perfectly honest. i don't care if it is cheesy or cliched or idealistic. i like stories where the core of it is about kindness, the warmth we can offer others and the gentleness we receive in return. maybe the moral of the story IS love triumphs. it better fucking be
please listen to albums someitmes youll be amazed at what an artists songs do when theyree in an order they made. for you to listen to. etc
Anonymous asked:
What are some reasons to recover if youre a healthy weight alr?
- You will never get to "enjoy" being underweight, because your brain will always want more (trust me, I know it sounds like lies but it has happened to everyone whose ed made them underweight)
- Recovery gets harder the longer you put it off, so you'll be doing yourself a favour by not making it even harder than it already will be
- Even without getting to the point of being underweight, your ed is destroying your health. The longer you put off recovery, the more likely you are of developing other conditions that might show up way later, even after recovery.
- Read the one above again, and really take it in.
- I don't say it just to be like oohh think of your healthhh because your ed doesn't care about that, but it happens so often!! People who had an ed in their youth and recovered, often still develop issues with their metabolism and gut health later. So many have poo or teeth troubles and it's so not sexy and usually expensive and painful.
- Just to really make sure you got it: you don't need to be underweight to start fucking up your health and life with an ed.
- Becoming underweight won't solve whatever problem your ed is trying to fix.
- You will be so tired and joyless and a pain to be around, you won't even wanna do your favourite things. At my worst I stopped doing all my hobbies, I even stopped singing because I was just so tired all the time. I just lied in bed all day and waited for my next food ritual to begin. You won't be any different.
- If you let it get worse, your friends and family will be completely unable to understand you, and you will be the most lonely and miserable being on earth. No amount of love that people will try to show you will fix it and you'll feel like the biggest disappointment and burden.
- Your ed will slowly take away every single thing from you and you will not notice because you keep thinking "it's not gonna happen to me tho, I'm not like those who are actually for real sick"
- Recovery will be easier, cheaper, more effective, and in general more fun when you dont have to go through weight restoration. When you're already at a healthy weight, you don't even have to gain weight in order to recover (which is obviously horrifying and makes successful recovery so much harder)
- Life without an ed is just infinitely better, I can vouch for that as someone who went through it. Recovery is worth the discomfort, because once you fix whatever is causing your ed, you get to become the person you actually wanted to be, instead of becoming a slave to your ed.
the older i get the more i realize i am actually just another version of those 2 fuckwits from waiting for godot
Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.
what if I decide to let the joy slowly creep into my life the same way dread does…… what then
Anonymous asked:
Ed says that if youre thinner you won't feel out of place (im a racial minority in asia) how is that untrue ols help im trying to recover [sorry if this sounds blunt ]
Well obviously it's untrue because becoming thinner won't do anything about your racial festures. If you feel out of place because you are in a minority group, which is an othering experience (so no wonder you feel that way), then becoming thinner won't change that. You won't be any more part of the group by becoming thinner, and I promise you, the other group has people of all sizes, just like every other group.
What you could do instead is to change your focus from blending in with majority and embracing being part of the group you are. I have no experience about asian countries or cultures or your situation, so I don't really know what you could do specifically, but in general finding pride and joy in your own identity and culture is a pretty good boost to anyone's confidence and sense of belonging.
Most if not all of the "upsides" of becoming thinner are usually some disguised feelings that we're struggling to accept or understand.
Sometimes "I want to starve" is a thought that hides behind it feelings like "I feel uncared for and unseen, so I want someone to care and worry about me"
Or maybe "I want to be thin" means "I feel unsure about myself among some people and I want to make sure they have nothing to use against me"
In order to recover, we have to start figuring out what it is that we're feeling and working on those feelings, instead of focusing on the disordered thought patterns that keep us stuck in our eds.
Good to hear you're trying to recover!!!!!! I can promise you that it's worth the hype, I'm living a much happier and more confident life now that I don't have a nagging voice telling me that I will regret and die if I eat anything 😤
I'm gonna do it for her (my younger self)
how i’m tryna be this summer
a nice morning can be twenty hours long, if you need