Another bit about being a stray kitten

Being a stray kitten is a rough thing. It can damage self esteem, and it often feels quite lonely, however I have found the only thing worse than being a stray, is having a Master that you love dearly and then being abandoned. Being a stray kitten is hard, but when you're a stray because you were abandoned... That is worse. Recently I caught feelings for someone and I thought that was the sucky part...however the sucky part was that he treated me the way I dreamed of being treated, he was the ideal master and I couldn't think of a single thing he did wrong.....until he chose someone else...and the pain doesn't stop there either. He continued to play me like a fiddle...and I'd still go back to him if he asked me...being an abandoned kitten is hard...because most of the time... You'd come running straight back.....believing them when they claim to have changed.

Unfortunately for her, she fell for a man that was blind. Not in his eyes, she could live with that, but he was blind in his heart. His heart was blind to how much he meant to her, even though she told him a thousand times. His heart was blind because to him time mattered. And even as tears welled in her eyes he was blind as she begged him to see that time didn't matter, that time meant nothing to cruel intentions or heartless words. Sadly for his blindness there was no cure.

I remember the day When I realized wishes don't come true After all the shooting stars And the birthday candles Or when the clock hits 11:11 My only wish has never come true And darling my only wish was you.

The truth is I fell in love with you on sight. Not because of your looks, but because right away I could tell your heart was golden. Upon meeting you I was hit with the energy of a pure soul. Your voice sounded like a chorus of angels, and for a second I believed they were real. And in that moment, I knew you belonged in my life. You made yourself a home in my heart, and I couldn't dream of pushing you out, you stayed in my thoughts and slowly you became more important to me than anyone or anything. You became my best friend, you became my dream. Unfortunately dreams don't come true.

Sacrifice

The thing about loving someone, is that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for their happiness even if it hurts you. Love isn't selfish, love is compromise, love is knowing that they're more important than being right. Love is "yeah she's being difficult, but I'd rather have love than have someone easy." it's, "he's being an ass right now, but I can tough it out if it means he'll be my knight forever." Being so hopelessly in love with someone means that you care about them more than you care about you....and the thing that sucks about that...is sometimes that means they get to love someone else....and you just sit back and watch....because you love them and even though it hurts....you love that they're happy...

The truth is, loving someone that much. Feeling a love so pure and so wholesome that you're willing to sacrifice your heart for them will kill you slowly. But it is also very beautiful. Even when you love someone that doesn't love you back, it brings out the beauty inside you, that you never knee you had. A love like that is so pure that even when it hurts, it's amazing. To care about someone else like that, you can't just keep living in this ugly grey world because a love like that brightens it, there is no more black and white it's a whole rainbow of emotions and thoughts and it brings about so much beauty through art and many other things. A love like that can't be ugly, even if it tried.

If he calls you "kitten" and says things like "have you eaten today?" and makes sure to put you in your place, then appreciate him those are the ones that are worth it.

An excerpt from a story not yet written.

She bit her lip as she picked at her bracelet the way she always did when she was nervous or upset, "I guess that's just it huh? I have no right to be upset. I knew from the start that I was just a place holder until she was ready to come back into his life. I knew all along that he loved her and not me, I knew I was just a distraction because he was lonely. Still I got sucked in, I got feelings when I knew I shouldn't have.....and the worst part of it is....I'm okay with it. As much as it kills me inside, I know I'll never be as good as her, I'll never mean something to him like she does. And if I could go back to when it all started and change everything so that none of this ever happened..... I wouldn't.... Because he's my best friend. The first person that ever made me feel truly and wholely loved, and even if I'll never be more than something he only wants when he's bored or going through a rough bit, even though I know I'm not just a second choice, but a last resort... I'd still come running the instant he snapped his fingers. Why? Because at the end of the day...I love him so fucking much...even if I know he's never going to love me..." a single tear ran down her cheek and in that moment I realized just how fucked up the world was. Here was this girl, so beautiful and so amazing. The kind of person that would give her last dollar to a stranger so they could eat, even when she herself is starving. And here she was, crying over a guy that would never love her, because he was so focused on what he wanted he never saw what he had. And to this day nothing has screwed me up more, than to know there are amazing people like her crying themselves to sleep...because they give up their happiness time and time again...so that people they love can take it for granted, and just throw them to the side until they need it again....

Being a stray kitten

I made a post before about what it's like to be a stray kitten and I've decided to add on, but this time it's positive. Being a stray kitten does have its bad parts but it also allows you to discover things about you that you can't do as easily with a dom. For example, I'm discovering that I enjoy meeting people while in kitten space to be able to tell right away if they would appeal to my inner kitten.

Master: No kitten not now. Me: who the hell do you think you are? I am a damn princess and I get what I want sir.

I can try to let you go. I can say I'm over you. But the truth is, When I'm drunk at 3 a.m. And I've forgotten my own name, Yours is still on my mind.

Father's Day

This goes out to the moms that are also acting as dads To the grandparents that take care of their grandchildren To the dads that have to be moms too. This goes out to the fathers that aren't getting a call this father's day because they've lost a child. This goes out to every parent that is trying so hard to take care of their kids every day. We appreciate you and you deserve a lot more than one day to celebrate how hard you try.

I felt myself slipping into kitten space at work the other day when a cute customer winked at me. It's really bad that just any attractive person can do that considering I have a really hot coworker.