“Our segment is entitled: How to Find a Nazi: Useful Tips on Identifying Hitler’s Finest in Everyday Life.”

I feel like half the reason they did that twist is because Al Pacino was like “I’m old as fuck I’m not doing another season of this shit”

I was wondering why a non-jewish actor was playing a jewish holocaust survivor the whole time then got to the last episode and was like “....I see”

Well this movie star needs no introduction, but let’s tell this kid who he’s ménage-à-ocho-ing with, hun?

Meirl

wouldn’t it be lit if physical beauty wasn’t the primary determinant of female worth? like idk I think it would just be fun lol

This happened way too often in high school

Terry Pratchett, you goddamn genius wordsmith. The world is poorer for your absence.

wish i had an ass so i could make some booty shorts with weird sayings on them

goy friends: very cool of you to observe the sabbath :) how pious

me, waking up from my fourth nap before 3pm: hnnnggg dddd huh???? oh uh hashem

tired: Aziraphale isn’t gay because he’s nonbinary

wired: Aziraphale IS gay because he’s still living in the 19th century and sees gender and sexuality as inextricably tied together

inspired: Aziraphale doesn’t know how to quantify his gayness when his partner keeps hoarding the genders and bouncing around them

Someone: Aren’t you gay?

Aziraphale, who presents masculine and uses he/him pronouns but has no particular attachment to gender, watching his spouse who is currently his wife superglue coins to the sidewalk: I have no idea how to answer that question.

Best of Crowley in Good Omens (2019)

sleepy....

moms when u tell them ur getting a haircut: no don’t cut ur hair ur so feminine ahaha

On balloons.

There’s a post going around that advocates giving clowns only real helium balloons. I’m not going to link to that post, because I don’t want the OP getting any hate. The balloon misconception is SUCH a common one I don’t think any one of us can say we didn’t fall prey to it at one point or another. But, the fact of the matter is, helium balloons are not good enrichment for clowns.

Firstly, they’re not sustainable. Helium is a rapidly depleting resource. Secondly, clowns like balloons because they mistake them for their eggs. A clown bouncing a balloon around on a string is taking care of its ‘baby.’ Clown eggs are brightly colored spheres that float around at shoulder-height, if healthy, and are transported by the parent by means of a filament. Balloons mimic these incredibly well. That is why clowns find balloons on the ground so distressing - a downed egg contains a sick embryo. The despair they experience when one floats away is that of child loss, and I’m sure you can imagine why they’re so distressed when one pops. That’s why malevolent breeds are predisposed to the act! All balloons “die”. They cannot hatch. Every experience a clown has with a balloon, however happy at the outset, ends in tragedy. They are not good enrichment items, no matter how busy they keep a clown.

So what are some alternatives? If you have two or more clowns of any social breed, then toys like custard pies, water squirters, and air horns make excellent entertainment. Note: Most common breeds are social. If you are keeping a social breed singularly, you MUST play with it for several hours a day at the bare minimum. While these breeds tend to adore balloons the most, the repeat psychological trauma they suffer because of them is not worth the easy out. If you keep a breed that prefers a solitary existence, they will get the most out of things like juggling supplies and balance balls. Make sure they have a safe space to play with these in when you aren’t home to supervise. All breeds need human interaction. A few times a week you need to show your clown you appreciate it - that’s the best enrichment of all. Remember that some methods of training result in ‘unusual’ reactions to the four quadrants - most commonly, +P will become “rewarding” - and some performance breeds innately make that connection, so research the right way to reward your clown.

On a final note, DO NOT GIVE MIMES BALLOONS. Look on any mime forum and you’ll see countless threads with titles like “Help! My mime won’t play with toys!” Yeah, dipshit, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND TOYS. All members of the mime group are highly specialized working breeds geared towards imagination play. They are very intelligent, deeply driven to perform their unique rituals, and not much else. They need to do their original job to be happy. They need to put on shows. If you cannot provide the stimulation of a fully public performance at least once a week for your mime, and cannot provide regular training sessions, either, do not get a mime. Consider a fool instead. A lot of people brush off fools as beginner breeds, too rambunctious and talkative, but there’s a reason they were preferred by royalty for centuries. They’re actually very versatile and eager to please! They do love tumbling and have a knack for mimicking human speech, but will happily learn the same tricks as a mime. They’re also content to live singularly and enjoy practicing in private quite a lot, making them rather compatible with modern life. Their larger cousins, the jesters, can also learn mime routines, but keep in mind that they are more willful! The sinister jester is a near dupe for the creepy mime, a popular breed, but they’re not a great choice for a total novice. Remember, they contributed heavily to the makeup of the scary clowns. (o: Both fools and jesters will prefer to have physical props to play with in their off-time even if they’re trained to perform without them.

OP I’d appreciate you NOT vagueposting me and criticising my clown care knowledge. You literally could have messaged me and I could have explained my reasoning behind providing my clowns with helium balloons but instead you made this huge post making me out to be some kind of idiot like clownblr people wouldn’t know exactly who you were talking about and smearing my reputation.

Ok. So for starters my post was specifically about not giving your clown air balloons on sticks because obviously those achieve None of the enrichment of a floating balloon because the moment they let go of the stick it’s - as you said - like their egg has become sick and will cause significant distress every time this occurs. You’re also right in saying that a wilting helium balloon can cause the same stress, and both types can lead to balloon dependency neuroses.

HOWEVER I will never advocate for balloonless clowns. Here’s why:

Custard pies and flower squirters are absolutely NO substitute for stimulating a clown’s parental instincts. As you rightly pointed out, clowns are highly social creatures (solitary breeds are another story, and not what this post is about) and never more so than when kept in a family unit (or Alley) as in the wild. If you want to keep genuinely happy clowns without engaging in irresponsible breeding (seriously, get your clowns neutered) then they NEED egg substitutes. There’s absolutely no arguing it, clowns without balloons do not live full lives.

As for helium balloons gradually deflating, that is a matter of poor clown husbandry. If you’re letting balloons go down you aren’t taking good enough care of your pets, it’s that simple. You should reinflate or replace your clown’s balloons at LEAST twice a week. Clowns are notoriously stupid for comic effect (Why do you think we call people “Bobo the Clown” when they do something dumb?) and will not notice if you swap out their balloons so long as you pick a suitably comedic moment to do so, (After a face pie or prat fall are the easiest)

As for helium being rare?? Repeat after me:

IF 👏 YOU 👏 CAN’T 👏 AFFORD 👏 HELIUM 👏 YOU 👏 CAN’T 👏 AFFORD 👏 CLOWNS!!!!

SDKFKJSDFKJD WHY DID SILKY DO A WIG REVEAL NOT EVEN 10 SECONDS IN

Congratulations to our oddball Yvie Oddly, Season 11 Winner!

Nina said trans rights and the fans said yes