Hu Tao: No, these man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get them though
what punishment do you get if you commit murder in teyvat?
mondstadt: it’s not official but you’re told to go take a walk with rosaria during the night and then you’re never seen again (…that or you’re just exiled)
liyue: jail
inazuma: execution (i believe this is actually mentioned at some point in heizou’s hangout)
sumeru: community service, probably
No one in Sumeru ever commits murder cause Nahida is dream stalking them and they have the most horrifying vision that convinces them not to.
Backup is Aranara hitman
the Aranara hitman stabs you and as you are bleeding out on the ground you look up at him and he is looking at you like :]
does ANYONE have that post where bugs bunny and daffy duck are talking about they/them pussy. because i think about it every day but i can never find it
pomer0y
This one?
YES thank you
Stu, let me ask you a question: how did you not realize until then that you had too many eggs? Nobody sells eggs in a big cloth-covered basket, so you must have done that yourself. That means you spent god-knows-how-long opening up twelve whole cartons of eggs, carefully placing each egg one-by-one inside a big basket, and then covering it with a big picnic cloth… and at no point- at no point- did you ever stop and think “gee, there might be TOO MANY FUCKING EGGS HERE”
You really have lost control of your life.
omny87
I may have gone overboard with this
A new meme
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
The one thing the Ace Attorney fandom got right is that game mechanics should absolutely be used in fics as plot devices whenever possible.
i have seen this post on my dash 7 times now and every time i think more loudly, 'this is what Batman villain The Penguin's dialogue sounds like when they let him be fun to watch.'
thinking about scaramouche team dynamics ft scarabedo
RAPIDLY RUNNING TOWARDS YOU AT MACH SPEED
GUESS WHAT I HAVE IN MY HAND GUESS GUESS
IT IS A JOLTIK
OMG U HAVE A JOLTIK