Nothing says dominant species quite like having an apex predator as a pet.
Sheet music is really just a recipe for sound
In the Deadpool movies does Deadpool know that he is being played by Ryan Reynolds
You can’t spell consensual without sensual. Asking is sexy.
AU where fnaf is actually just a DnD game and the person playing Purple Guy just keeps getting REALLY shitty rolls
“I want to comfort the crying children.”
“Roll for a uhh…. Diplomacy check?”
“I feel like this isn’t really necassary but-” *dice roll noise, followed by a sigh* “…I got a one.”
“You murder them. All of them.”
intelligencemod-deactivated2019
Evil characters failing bluff checks be like
“It really does take a village to raise a child. Or an adventuring party!”
Our cleric after giving a very long-winded Stranger Danger lecture to a kid who had opened the door to talk to a group of heavily armed murder hobos when his parents weren’t home. (via yourplayersaidwhat)
Synonymous is synonymous with, but not interchangeable with interchangeable.
“Fuck you and the hole you came from” can refer to both the mother and the father of the one you’re insulting
Public restrooms should have music playing to alleviate awkwardness
If teabagging is the noun for a male putting his scrotum on another’s face, tuliping would make a depective equivalent for a female using her labia.
When your girlfriend pissed you off cause she was hungry & you’ve fed her now you’re mad and she’s just fine.
The bigger your shoes, the bigger your dick, the bigger the car the smaller your dick. No wonder people are so afraid of clowns.
I feel so creepy now....
I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with a Tumblr. Creep on people? Cause that's what I think I just did. Oops. T_T