Nothing to see here

rule

"you can use your safe word but there will be a punishment"

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

IF SOMEONE SAYS THIS SHIT RUN AND DO NOT STOP RUNNING. ITS NOT A KINK, I ASSURE YOU THEY WEREN'T JOKING

There is something inside that person they are waiting for a moment. Get out of that situation now, delete the number, change the locks and cut them out of your life.

Help save mature forests in the US

Here’s the link for my followers! It’s super easy— all it needs is your name and an email address.

Bad: Spending hundreds of pages carefully explaining your meticulously planned worldbuilding.

Also bad: Doing no worldbuilding at all.

Good: Putting in the work of doing the worldbuilding, then refusing to explain or justify any of it, simply mentioning pertinent details briefly and in passing, allowing the reader to glimpse the outline of something vast gliding beneath their narrative point of view's tiny boat.

@sixsticks replied:

That's what the obligatory tie-in tabletop RPG is for.

funniest thing about the “reddit migration” is that I haven’t seen a single post shitting on anyone coming from Reddit. when twitter started bleeding users everyone was firing rent-lowering posts but with redditors skittering about we’ve left the doors open and put out food bowls

Tags were too good to ignore.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin. They both looked down at the crumpled shape of the Overlord, His Unholy Majesty, in his obsidian armor.

His final spasms had been mesmerizingly acrobatic. The fall down the steps leading up to his iron throne had pretzelled his body quite impressively, both arms folded behind his back and one leg bent at a jaunty angle.

The goblin looked at the orc. The orc looked at the goblin.

"Shit," said the goblin.

"Shit," said the orc.

"We're likely to get blamed for this," the goblin said. She walked over to the head of the glittering mangled heap and started pulling the helmet off.

"It's not our fault," the orc said. "It's hard to help someone choking when they wear two-hundred pounds of spiked armor at all times."

"Yeah, well," the goblin grunted. The helmet came free, and the bald head of the Overlord bounced on the stone with a hollow, coconut noise. "You know how it is in this bloody country - thieves get their heads cut off so they can't think about thieving, and all that." She fished in the Overlord's mouth with a finger and pulled out the obstructing olive on the end of her claw.

She popped it into her mouth and chewed. "What do you reckon they do for a regicide?" she said.

"We should run," the orc said. She had started bouncing her leg. "I hear that there's some places in the Alliance where they just kill you and let you stay dead. That's got to be nicer than what'll happen if we stay here."

The goblin started to nod - and then her gaze fell on the helmet.

It looked like a pineapple designed by a deranged blacksmith. It was all thorns and spikes and hard edges, as though the maker had been very determined to not let pigeons roost on it. The only bits that weren't solid iron were eyeholes. Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face.

She held up the helmet and squinted from it to the orc. One of the thorns had been bent badly in the fall.

Nobody had ever seen the Overlord's face...

"Right," she muttered. "Right. Could work - or."

The orc had a sudden vision of the immediate future. "No," she said.

"I mean you're about his height-"

"No."

"It would just be for a-"

"Absolutely not."

"Just hear me out," the goblin said. "Outside of this room are two-thousand men and orcs and goblins who are absolutely gonzo about this man, and there's a whole country of them outside of the castle, and at any moment someone's going to walk in that door and see one dead tit in black armor and two unbelievably dead idiots next to him.

"Or." She tossed the helmet up like a basketball to the orc, who fumbled and tried to find somewhere to hold it that wasn't a knife's edge. "We chuck him out the window now, walk out the door in the armor, and ditch the armor as soon as nobody sees us."

The orc had started bouncing her leg again. "They'll know something's up the second I walk out of the room."

"No worries," said the goblin. "Leave that to me."

---

It had been a very strange year for the Empire.

Change had rolled across the land as slow and inevitable as a glacier. Roads and bridges carved the gray, blasted wildlands, and a number of social reforms had made the country a place where you could be miserable, yes, but miserable in comfort and safety, and that was an improvement.

Barely anyone got boiled alive in molten metal, and even if the disgusted sun never rose to light the Empire, at least you had a roof over your head to protect yourself from the acid rain.

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

So let me get this straight ,vegans should stop eating the food of the Mexcian long-nosed bats, because the bats need it, and instead vegans should instead eat honey, the food of bees, that their larvae need, even though the bee populations are facing ecological issues as it stands.  10/10 post, dude.

Did you forget the whole part where only excess is taken and all their needs are met and then some orrrr?

Like, did you read it orrrrr?

Anyway, BUY HONEY SAVE BEES

It is a 10/10 post. Because OP is right.

Bees do not suffer when beekeepers take their honey, because experienced beekeepers do not take all of their honey, in fact, they leave plenty of honey left for the bees to consume over the winter. If we do not collect their honey, 1 of two things will happen.

1. they will leave for a bigger home. Which at first seems fine until you remember that bees are dying very quickly out in the wild.

or

2. They will start using the areas that they reserve for their young as a place to make more honey. This is bad because if no more young are being produced, then the hive will start to die out because no new workers are coming into the world, and the average live only 150 days, so it would also mean the loss of more bees.

So yeah, eating honey isn’t inhumane at all. In fact, you’re helping the bees by eating what they produce and giving money to the bee keepers who are the ones making sure that the hive will keep being healthy.

LOUDER FOR THE VEGANS IN THE BACK: use honey, not agave! Bees need your support and other animals need agave! Using honey means more bees!!

Other animal products that are absolutely fine to use because they produce it in excess:

- Wool. Sheep need to be sheared or their wool will get excessively large, matted and gross. Its legit just a haircut. Calm down and use wool instead of whatever fake acrylic microplastic shit they have in stores now. Wool is super warm, insulating, and guess what! It grows back! Its a renewable resource and all the sheep want in return is some good pasture and protection from predators.

- Eggs. I’m not talking about storebought eggs. Go to your local farmer’s market. Find someone around with chickens/ducks. These birds produce eggs literally every day and will not stop unless they are molting, brooding, or kept in the dark for most of the day. Like I am not joking when I say you can very easily find someone with poultry and they will beg you to take some eggs. Theres so many. Please. Take some duck eggs. I dont want them. I had 8 laying ducks last year. Thats 8 eggs every day. Thats 2 dozen eggs every THREE DAYS. Thats SO MANY EGGS PLEASE TAKE SOME EGGS

Reducing animal cruelty does not mean abolish the use of animal products. Go eat honey. Go use wool. Go find a friend with birds and eat eggs, or get your own. Just because it comes from an animal does not make it cruel.

A "Delirium of plot"?!?! Good Omens/Sandman cross-over season confirmed!

I don’t have to worry about "chemicals you can’t pronounce" in my food and my shampoo because I can pronounce every chemical flawlessly and without effort. Butylated hydroxytoluene. Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid. Fenugreek. I am saying these out loud and laughing at you. I’m immune to all known carcinogens. I can never die. Fight me.

Can sit on the bus like a human person:

Noisy neighbour:

Weird vibes squad

Physically impossible seatmate

Maurice

Maurice

Maurice

Maurice

I'm begging of you, please don't take my man

[photo id: tweet by Daniel Kibblesmith @/kibblesmith: how am I supposed to concentrate when I do not wish to and there are no immediate rewards end id]

The fun thing about watching gameplay trailers for games you've already played is spotting all the moments where they clearly chose a particular move for how cool it looks and not for whether it's actually a good idea under the circumstances shown, then carefully cut the footage exactly 0.5 seconds before the player character eats dirt.

One of the most telling gender inequalities in the landscape of contemporary media is the relative dearth of buff ladies flexing their muscles so hard that their clothes literally explode off of their bodies.

"Do you mean like magical girl transformations" sure, provided your idea of magical girls encompasses the girl version of this:

Holy fucking shit queer people really fucking hate masculinity

Like, I know anyone following me has seen me talk about this shit but fuck

This queer movie review podcast is talking about 70s glam rock fashion (a favorite of mine) and the one host says "an effeminate man is his true self, because masculinity is fake, the only way to be real is to be feminine"

Like, what the fuck? First of all, way to discount generations of queer people, and displays of queer masculinity, great job. Second, tell me you've never spoken to a trans man or a butch or literally anyone who's ever been forced into a feminine social role or feminine presentation without telling me.

I hate how pervasive this attitude is. I hate how it makes it uncomfortable, at best, to exist in queer spaces as someone who is not, can not, and does not want to be sufficiently feminine.

anytime ppl tell me masculinity is inherently restrictive and violent i think abt the fact that peak jewish masculinity is studying talmud and taking care of your family and giving your wife multiple orgasms.

"It's become easier to imagine the end of the world than to imagine the end of capitalism," and in much the same way, I think it's become easier for a lot of people (including and in many cases especially men) to imagine the end of the male gender than to imagine positive forms of masculinity.

But we're gonna fucking have to. There needs to be a positive vision of what masculinity can be so that men, once they do the work of abandoning the patriarchal, racist, supremacist and bigoted forms of masculinity that they are taught, have somewhere better to go, and someone better to be.

Like, yes, I know it's tempting to be like "not my problem, fuck 'em, let them figure it out." And to some extent fair enough, this is work whose primary burden should fall on men and masculine people. But cis men don't have a monopoly on masculinity. Spare a thought for transmasc people, spare a thought for nonbinary and genderfluid folks with masculine expression, or, hell, butch women who incorporate parts of masculinity into their womanhood. It's their fucking gender too, y'know.

Sounds like somebody scraping dried mud out of the tread of an empty truck tire.

idk when we decided that explaining yourself shouldn't be part of an apology but like. if someone was a dick to me and apologizes but I still don't understand why they did it I'm not gonna feel any better

"Sorry for hurting your feelings earlier. I was trying to say x, but I guess it came across wrong. I don't think you're stupid."

or

"Sorry I snapped at you. I didn't get enough sleep last night so my patience is a little low today."

is a better apology than

"I want you to know that I am sorry that my actions offended you. I take full accountability for my actions and I am listening and learning. I hear you."

Somewhere along the line, someone decided that "explaining" was the same thing as "making excuses" and started telling anyone who tried to explain themselves that they were actually trying to get out of taking responsibility for their behaviour.

Well, nobody wants to seem like they're trying to get out of taking responsibility for their behaviour, do they? So now we have this deeply weird, clearly-workshopped corporatespeak bullshit where you're not allowed to admit that you did anything wrong while you apologise but you still have to sound like you give a shit, hence all this shit about "listening and learning" and telling people "I hear you."

Let people explain themselves, for fucks sake.

ao3 comments will be like “i like this line of your fic” and my reply will be like “fantastic thank you here’s my entire thought process about how i ended up with that particular line and also an outline for another fic i have and fifteen resources i used to research 1980s politics” and nobody asked for that chill

i asked for that

No we 100% asked for that.

Definitely asked for that, and also here’s the other three dozen lines from your fic that I liked and the outline for the fic they inspired me to write plus some extra character meta that at this point is only tangentially related to your fic but was definitely inspired by those 1980s politics resources and -

Yep.

This is literally how I made most of my fandom besties.

Listen…

Fic Commenters: If you ever want to make a comment going on depth about a part of a fic that stood out to you, but think “does the author really want to read all this?” The answer is YES! YES WE DO WANT TO READ ALL THAT!!!!

Fic authors: If you ever see a comment that makes you want to explain your thought process behind your writing, and you think “does the commenter really want to read all this?” The answer is YES! YES WE DO WANT TO READ ALL THAT!!!