not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

so much of being an ok person is just 1) not panicking, 2) not taking things personally, and 3) not letting the vindictive gargoyle that lives in your head tell you what to do. this sucks because brains love doing those things

Part of accepting yourself completely is reframing your mind to make it about you, so that “will they like me?” turns into “will I like them?” and “did they like what I said?” turns into “did I say everything I wanted to say?” Everything you do should ultimately be brought on by what you think is important and by what you want. Not by what you think will be most accepted or most liked.

people think i’m texting someone but no, i’m calculating my calories 😌

Printable study planner

Hello there! So this post is the first in a series of printables that I plan on creating as a way to make up for my long absence. I’ve opened up a special ask box for February. Requests submitted HERE will be prioritized. My goal is to finish one request per 36 hours (so a day-and-a-half). I still have school after all.

I’m planning on keeping this particular ask box open until the end of February. After that, if you’d like to request a printable, you can just go to the regular ol’ ask box and send your ideas there. Keep in mind that printable requests sent to my regular ask box will be noted on my list of things to do and will be fulfilled as I have the time to do so, whereas the requests sent to the above ask box will be prioritized.

#1   Reading Academic Articles

These two worksheets will help students reading academic articles in the sciences and humanities. The structure-based notes sheet is generally helpful for scientific articles with bunches of data whereas the content-based notes is helpful for articles written in the humanities that provide several arguments/counterarguments and supplementary pieces of evidence. || This printable was requested by @mindchapters.

Click here to go to my Dropbox and download the PDF!

Other Helpful Links Related to Critical Reading in Academia:

- EFM

Kurt Vonnegut wrote: “When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no I don’t play any sports. I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.

And he went WOW. That’s amazing! And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”

And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”

And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

Some of these games may have upsetting content such as suicides, death, eating disorders, etc. If you're concerned about these themes, please ask me or research the game. I've tried to list trigger warnings for anything particularly upsetting such as suicides but this is not an exhaustive list and goes entirely off of my memory but I'm always happy to answer any questions.

Farm Together: an adorable farm building game, kind of similar to phone games in that you have to wait for real time to pass to do things but it can be very satisfying to build up a cute farm. Can also be played with friends.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Firewatch: A story/exploration game about a man alone in the California wilderness who watches for fires. Touching, surprising, and lovely, I love this game a LOT.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Gone Home: The same kind of game as Firewatch, but you're a young woman who has come home to find your family gone and you're left to explore the house and figure out what happened while you were gone. Seems like a horror game but it's actually not. Again, very touching and moving story.

On all platforms

Price: 15 USD

Life is Strange, Life is Strange Before the Storm, and Life is Strange 2: This series will rip your heart out, stomp on it, and shove it back in your chest. These games are amazing, heartbreaking, and full of some of the hardest choices I've ever made. Trigger warning for suicide. Slight NSFW warning: some partial nudity and mentions of sex

On all platforms

Prices: from 20-30 USD

Tell me Why: Made by the same people as Life is Strange, everything I said about those games applies here. Has some horror elements but isn't a true horror game. If you're easily freaked out like me, you might be unsettled a few times but it's worth pushing through.

On Xbox and PC

Price: 20 USD

Night in the Woods: Would you like an existential crisis? Here's one in game form. This one gets a little unsettling at times but isn't a true horror game. This game makes you think about our place in the universe and deals with the heavy topic of depression so it's not for everyone. If you can deal with those topics though, it's a very deep and interesting game.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Slime Rancher: You have slimes. You ranch them. It's adorable, addicting, and so so much fun. The slimes are cute as heck and I had so much fun exploring the world and building up my ranch.

On all platforms except switch

Price: 20 USD

Tacoma: What would you do if you were trapped on a space station with no hope of survival? This is made by the same people who made Gone Home and is a touching story following the last days of the crew of a space station who are doomed to die. You relive their last moments through video taped holograms. Wonderfully acted and an amazing story. Slight NSFW warning: Some making out and mentions of sex as well as "toys" that can be found if you look hard enough.

On all platforms except switch

Price: 20 USD

Coffee talk: You're a barista making coffee in a magical world. Serve drinks and chat with people about their problems. The story is cute, interesting, and the characters are so full of personality. Slight NSFW warning: mentions of sexual things.

On all platforms

Price: 14 USD

Undermine: A roguelike dungeon crawler. You're a miner who travels into the Undermine to fight monsters, mine gold, and rescue people. Can be difficult but is very satisfying when you complete another objective. You use your pickaxe to both defend yourself and fight the various monsters of the Undermine.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Children of Morta: Very similar to Undermine as far as gameplay goes but the story is that a family of warriors is tasked with fighting back the darkness that threatens their world. You can play as various members of the family and each has unique abilities you can level up and learn. Again, somewhat difficult but very worth it if you can power through and grind some levels for the characters. A broad trigger warning for this one because it can be very dark.

On all platforms

Price: 22 USD

Donut County: You control a hole that consumes the town. Yup, that's basically it. It's very satisfying with some light puzzle elements and honestly I don't have much more to say except it's fun!

On all platforms including phones

Price: 13 USD

Haven: This game is beautiful and the two main characters are so in love and so adorable and I love them. You follow the story of a couple who has escaped their home world and arranged marriages and landed on an entirely new world, but they're not safe for long. It's not very difficult and there's options to make combat even easier so it's a pretty chill time. Slight NSFW warning: partial nudity and mentions of sex.

On all platforms

Price: 25 USD

Ikenfell: Even if you don't like combat, this game has awesome accessibility options to make combat a breeze. You can even skip it entirely if you like. You come looking for your sister at the magical school she attends only to discover you suddenly have magic yourself?? Also the world is in danger?? Uh oh! This game has such awesome LGBT representation, I can't recommend it enough even if you aren't LGBT. There's some strong Harry Potter vibes here but so much better.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Moving out: People need things moved out of their houses and you're the person for the job! Can be played alone or co-op, this game is plain dumb fun. Chuck furniture through windows, off balconies, however you need to in order to get it on your truck in the time limit.

On all platforms

Price: 15 USD

Night Call: Taxi drivers hear all the best gossip and you're gonna need it to solve the mystery of the serial killer who attacked you but left you alive. Drive around town and pick up clients to make money and gather information. Obviously there's a serial killer involved but I'm also going to put a trigger warning right here for suicide.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Spiritfarer: Let me start off by saying this game is about death. All kinds of death. If that's not your thing, this isn't your game. However, despite it being about death, it's more a celebration of death than a grim, dark game. It's beautiful, it's touching, it'll make you cry. The gameplay is an exploration platformer with some building elements. This game has stuck with me in the best way possible and was my best game of 2020, no joke.

On all platforms

Price: 30 USD

What Remains of Edith Finch: Like Spiritfarer, this game is all about death and is about the darker side of death. Suicide and the death of sometimes very young children is present here. It's an amazing game about a cursed family and your desperate search for answers as the titular Edith Finch. In the same vein as Gone Home and Tacoma, the gameplay is mostly walking around looking at things but it often does that brilliantly well.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Cozy Grove: You are a spirit scout! It's like a girl/boy scout but for ghosts. After you're stranded in Cozy Grove, you have to try and help the ghosts of this island find peace. It's absolutely adorable but fair warning, there are some performance issues at this current time (April 17, 2021). I still recommend this game because it's so cute and fun to build your little camp and discover the stories of these trapped ghosts.

On all platforms

Price: 15 USD

Not Tonight and Papers Please: I'm putting these together because they're very similar. The premises are basically the same: you check IDs/passports/tickets and choose to admit or reject people based on whether their paperwork is in order. It's much more fun than it can be described and has some difficult decisions and multiple endings to get based on what you do and who you choose to admit or not. Trigger warning for political themes? Both games are pretty political and heavy, not exactly a happy stroll in the park. Slight NSFW warning for Papers Please: partial nudity (full nudity can be toggled in options if I remember correctly)

Papers Please is only on PC

Not Tonight is on switch and PC

Papers please is 10 USD

Not Tonight is 20 USD

Littlewood: You're the hero of the world! You defeated the Evil Wizard! Too bad you don't remember all of that. Actually, you don't remember ANYTHING. The world is still reeling after the almost end of the world and it's up to you to be the hero again and rebuild everything! You rebuild the town of Littlewood by chopping trees, mining, making friends, and farming. You can also decorate your townspeoples houses, your own house, and the whole town. You can even get married to almost anyone! I can't state enough how much I love this game, it's the perfectly chill, addicting game I think everyone needs.

On PC and Switch

Price: 15 USD

Moonlighter: Extremely similar to Undermine but a little better in my opinion. Explore the dungeons and gather items to sell in your shop to build up your store and the town. Cute art, fun gameplay.

On all platforms

Price: 20 USD

Childhood trauma, integration,  death, final fusion in DID system

My pictures will be used to illustrate some processes. (Of course, real brain doesn’t look like that!)

Let’s say this is what a brain looks like that has not suffered a complex trauma.

All parts of such a brain are integrated because the complex childhood trauma did not take place.

In this picture we see what the brain of a person with DID (or other complex trauma, the roots of which goes back to childhood) looks like.

As you can see, the identity of such a person has been fragmented, not integrated into a whole.  

Such an event can only occur in childhood. Why? In the first years of childhood, the experiences of both cerebral hemispheres are relatively independent of each other, which is conducive to the potential splitting of ‘I’. Our elements of identity should later integrate. This does not happen as a result of trauma. Instead of integration, elements remain fragmented. Brain doesn’t want us to remember something the child should not be going through. As a result of fragmentation, we cut ourselves off from unpleasant memories. 

This picture illustrates integration between alters. 

As a result of integration, a new alter may arise, which will have memories, experiences and feelings of ‘’old’’ fragments. 

Sometimes fragments can access their memories without having to be integrated into a single whole- their characteristics get mixed up. 

It is important not to try to convince the alter that they have to connect for the sake of the system if they are not ready to do so. In such a situation, the alter may get scared and withdraw indefinitely.

Why alter can’t die? 

It would look like this:

Each alter has a role in the system, and all alters exist for a reason. First of all - each alter is an element without which the whole does not exist. The only possibility for alter to die is brain damage.

Why after going through the fusion (final fusion) I can’t call myself a singlet?

How I said before- your brain hasn’t integrated as it should from the beginning and nothing can fix it.

What does the final fusion looks like? 

All alters begin to connect with each other through therapy and recurring memories, until we no longer function as 'we’ and begin to see ourselves as one.

Our emotions related to traumatic experiences become one. We begin to feel compassion for the parts that must have been traumatized, but we don’t deny the events. It is not true that trauma must be relived to recover. Its effects should be taken care of, not the events themselves.

However

Our brain will never function as it should without experiencing the trauma.

I would explain it like this:

There will always be an element of fragmentation, but we can bring it close enough to form a whole.

After the fusion, the brain may fragment again as a result of stress / new experiences. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong. The world is broken and people with DID / OSDD are coping as best they can.

Why fusion is not for everyone?

Sometimes a fusion is not needed. The therapist determines individual therapy in accordance with the needs of a given person. We are all different and each of us has individual needs. 

Some people are afraid of fusion, they don’t want to lose alters. 

For some, the thought of a fusion is so frightening that they don’t want to continue the healing process and there’s nothing wrong with it!

It is important in the therapy process to enable the person to function properly and fusion is not a necessity or a final step in treatment.

“We would not be sitting here together today, if each of the parts did not do their job well, if each of them did not help you to survive.”- Janina Fisher

19/july

drinking a can of soda is better than not drinking anything at all. “junk” food is better than no food at all. just rinsing your mouth out with mouthwash is better than no oral hygiene at all. changing into a different set of pyjamas is better than not changing at all. getting up just to sit down on the chair across the room for a bit is better than not getting up at all. changing just your pillowcase is better than not changing your bedding at all. cracking a window open is better than getting no fresh air at all.

if you don’t have enough spoons for full tasks, smaller adaptations are better than nothing at all. it’s okay if you don’t have the energy to actively fight today. just staying afloat is enough. you are enough.

The complete absence of the need to prove anything to anyone is a sure sign of harmony within.

I’m not into pranking people, so I decided I’d show you some animals that look silly instead.

Andean Cock of the Rocks (ALWAYS WATCHING)

Arabian sand boas (DOING THEIR BEST)

Dik diks (SMALL?????????)

Softshell turtles (SMOOTH BOYS)

Christmas tree worms (FESTIVE FRIENDS)

Saiga antelopes (I LOVE YOU BUT WHY)

Baikal seals (ROUND BOYS)

I refuse to believe any of these are real

Tibetan Foxes are also very good:

All of these look like my attempts to draw animals

@lifeofcynch

Seeing this exchange on Reddit was so sad. Men and boys need love and affection as much as women and girls.

Fuck, this reminds me of this good post I saw on I believe Twitter. Can’t find it and even so I’d rather not repost it if it can be helped but it was basically some dude crawling into bed w/ his girlfriend/wife and he was clearly upset and she offers him sex to make him feel better but he declines so instead she cuddles him and he starts crying and says thank you. Super cute and sweet.

Is it this?

Yeah! That’s the one. Thanks.

That post reminds me of this one I saw on Reddit:

Kill the idea that men don’t want physical affection 2KForever.