"I can't make it next Wednesday," Alec tells him, picking up his shirt from the floor.
"Oh," Magnus says from bed.
"I need to go to D.C. for a meeting with the Veep," Alec explains, even though Magnus didn't for an explanation. "Thursday?"
Magnus wants to say yes. But he shakes his head instead. "Rafael will be home."
Alec, who is buttoning up his shirt, stills at that.
That this is a lie. That this is temporary.
That this, despite the orgasms and the obvious pleasure, still hurts.
He expects Alec to simply suggest another date. Alec is a problem-solver at heart. This shouldn't be difficult.
If not Thursday, then Friday. If not Friday, then Monday.
Not Saturday or Sunday though. Those are for the children.
"I thought he has lectures on Thursday," Alec says instead. "Is he skipping classes?"
"I have an appointment with my psychiatrist to, um, change my dosage," Magnus says, looking away for some reason he doesn't understand. He thought he was done with this. Being embarrassed about his illness. "He wanted to come with me."
Alec is quiet for a moment. Then he nods. "Good. Take him with you."
Alec used to come with Magnus before. To all the doctor's appointments. To any place where Magnus felt unsafe and uncomfortable.
Alec would come. He would stand there and glare at the people who made Magnus feel that way or he would stand there and hold Magnus' hand in his own.
He wonders if Alec would come if he asked him now. He wonders if Alec would be mad at him for asking.
A small part of him - just about the size of the Zoloft he swallows every morning - wants to poke him and see if he'd get mad.
Desperate. Angry. Sad. Hurt. Betrayed.
But Alec is not being any of that right now.
He is standing at the edge of the bed and checking his calendar to see what other day he could make it work.
It's Magnus' least favorite version of Alec Lightwood.
Because there is only a thin line between Practical Alec and Politician Alec.
On some days, Magnus likes to stand in between the two and see how long he can exist there until Alec notices his feet are hurting.
"What about next Monday?" Alec asks now.
"Monday works," Magnus replies.
"Cool," Alec nods and finished buckling up his belt. "I'll see you then."
He doesn't know why he asks it. He doesn't know what exactly it means either.
But he asks anyway. He pokes.
"We are two people who are meeting up on Monday to have sex because our children are both out of town," Alec replies. "Is that good enough for you?"
The response leaves a bitter taste in his throat. Magnus swallows it down like an anti-depressant on a good day.
"Yeah," he replies. "See you Monday."