At some point, something was the first and only thing alive to be sentient and aware of itself

Coffee doesn’t give you energy. It loans energy out to you, and you’re expected to pay it back with interest

Some people won't date people who live with their parents, but will date people who live with their spouse.

In less than a century, people will not know what it’s like to grow up without smartphones, high speed internet, and express delivery services.

People have always shared their pronouns, it just used to be mister, miss, or Mrs, rather than he/him or she/her.

Skipping is almost exclusively only for happy people.

Unless you finish laundry naked, you can never be completely done with it.

You never normally picture an earthquake happening while it's snowing.

Tears are the only bodily fluid we don't find gross

It's easier to earn the nickname Einstein for stupidity than it is for doing something smart.

The swimming pool of the Titanic is still filled with water

In a future when all vehicles are full electric, exotic car owners will receive less attention when on the road simply because no one hear the noise of the car.

Almost every hand you've shaken has had a penis in it.

The illustrator of a children's book is often more impressive than the author

We haven’t found a better way to tighten and loosen our shoes in over 5000 years

People who let their texts show on their Lock Screen are the people who truly have nothing to hide.

Getting older is a humbling experience.

Burnt cheese tastes amazing but burnt milk is disgusting.

Jack Dorsey looks like Peter Dinklage stretched out

Our jaws can only bite upwards. So you can’t actually bite down.