您好，歡迎光臨

accurate representation of the last 4 years of my academic life

Once I was at a plant store and I have this subconscious habit of pulling leaves of plants so I did that and stuck the leaf in my pocket and when I got home I found it and felt bad so I dropped it in a pot with a bromiliad and a few weeks later it had taken root and started growing and that’s the story of how I pirated a plant

you wouldnt DOWNLOAD a PLANT

my law teacher built a ten foot fence because he hated his neighbour, but the city made him take it down because theres a five foot limit on fences, so he poured five feet of concrete on the ground and then built a five foot fence on top of that and the city tried suing him because it was ten feet but they lost because the actual fence was only five

WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID THIS GET NOTES

because your law teacher defeated the law 

I have nothing to say but will i shut up? No

Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”. You didn’t get it and you got mad and thought I was playing around.

Breaking up after almost two years together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To Here”.

You still didn’t get it.

this hit me hard

look at that pup smile

THIS IS SUCH A BRILLIANT LINE

Tumblr on November 1st

so cute

The last couple. Their faces are precious.

this changes everything oh my god

do you understand why it trips me out that people can drive 45 minutes and be in aNOTHER COUNTRY? I drive for 45 minutes and im like

a city over 

I live in “Italy” and took a day trip to go to “Austria” and “Germany”

 #it is literally impossible to leave texas #you will be in texas #FOREVER

Chums, that’s sweet, and all, but Australia just ate Texas for breakfast. 

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you aren’t a city over, you’re just 45 minutes away from the city.

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you may not even leave the cattle station.

If you drive for 45 minutes in Canada you may not even leave your driveway.

If I drive 45 minutes in the us I’m just at another mcdonalds

If I drive for 45 minutes in Northern Ireland I’m 10 minutes into the sea.

I can’t drive. 

I will use this post to explain tumblr

Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

i temporarily fall in love with like any guy thats nice to me at all like the checkout guy at CVS told me to “stay dry” this morning bc it was raining and i thought about him for like 2 hours after that 

THATS MY SON

Between Saving Private Ryan ($70 million), Interstellar ($165 million), and The Martian ($108 million), America has spent nearly $350 million trying to rescue Matt Damon.

#the nation’s damsel in distress(x)

I love our scenes at the art show; when Michael is the only person that shows up to Pam’s art show. That was so emotional and so sweet. I just love how kind Michael is to her in that moment. She is really very broken, and he takes care of her. -Jenna Fischer, The Office Retrospective

i’d watch an entire series about bodybuilders in a tiny town

by It’s the Tie