The concept of "spyware" has disappeared from the common internet lingo after it became the case that the word could now be used to describe nearly every major website and a huge percentage of the most commonly-used software.
There are political newspaper comics that aren't this succinct
THERE'S A SEQUEL!
MR. NOODLE
The adventure continues!
Awesome dad is awesome.
Hopefully the mother will get used to it
Did the cat just give–
this is the wholesome pure content we need more of
just found this old video that completely fucking broke my editing software while making it
saw this amazing post but rbs got turned off so. get funged idiot
Man, I hope that girl managed to figure things out.
I distinctly remember during Ye Olde Hellish Childhood Days of being dragged to Baptist churches this one guest preacher that went on and on about how important it is for Christian men to be friends with other Christian men but how difficult it is for men to have friends, because of course when you become friends with another man you will naturally want to have sex with him, so the temptation, y'know? It's tough, resisting those urges to have sex with all your man friends when you're a man, all you men know what I mean. It's so hard. You must be Very Strong In Your Faith before you can handle the responsibility of being friends with another man, so you will be able to Resist The Devil and not have sex with them.
14 year old me sat there in my pew, thinking. I think I know something about this man that he does not know.
you've heard of "doom can be ported to anything" and now we're excited to announce "anything can be ported to doom"
you joke but this has very much been a regular thing in the doom community for nearly 30 years, and with the fan-built engine gzdoom removing the last bit of code it had tied to the original game's license in 2017, it has been possible to make completely standalone games in that engine for over half a decade... so naturally people have been doing just that :)
wish i had a bit going where whenever i said "the prophecy" like three of my friends would repeat "the prophecy" in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player
okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world
be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it.
okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right
first:
the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!!
how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp
“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!”
“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.”
i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits
second:
my friend group echoes. a lot
someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!”
often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental”
ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding
i am not going to be thwarted again
my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me
“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!”
“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult
and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides”
two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say
and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around
which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards
some of my biggest insecurities only became insecurities after my mother pointed them out to me and turned my characteristics into flaws. parents, fucking watch what you say to your kids.
I know this post is meant for women, but this.
This post is for everyone actually, no worries. Boys and other genders can definitely experience what I’m talking about in my op.
tumbler. twittler. your tube. instant gram. deviant's art. these are some of my favorite "dot coms" that you can find here in this crazy world called "Internet"
i lied im Not tremendously fond of twittler. elton fuck or whatever his name is can suck my nuts.
in the effort of trying to bring my tumblr back into proper use, hi im jacob! im a voice actor who’s been doing funny voice yuk yuks on the internet for like a decade and i would love to provide my services for your game, video, series, or any project!
if you’re interested or if you’d like to commission something for me to voice, reach out to me at jacobdscherer@gmail.com
Oh, so twitter is DEAD dead
By intention, no less.
per the Emerald Boyking (whose picture I have thoughtfully cut in half, you are welcome)