bitches love me for my whimsical nature

Could never get a dick piercing. What if I get near a strong magnet and it rips my thang asunder

Ive eaten crunchwraps more supreme than this court

the sound of an orchestra tuning up makes me go crazyinsane it makes me start thinking about the eventual heat death of the universe and how someday somewhere an orchestra is going to tune up for the very last time. ever. and then the sun will swallow the earth & turn into a white dwarf & all the stars will go out & meanwhile a gazillion light years away sentient life will be evolving from silicon. and maybe they will have orchestras also

I think I'm a lifelong cryptid enthusiast because I'm nearsighted. Like what do you mean the Zapruder film isn't crystal clear. That's how bigfoot would look to me anyway.

I MEANT THE PATTERSON-GIMLIN FILM. NOT THE ZAPRUDER FILM. THERE IS NO BIGFOOT SIGHTING IN THE FOOTAGE OF PRESIDENT KENNEDY'S DEATH. I'M SO SORRY.

does anyone have the gamer dance gif because i need it

This? 

Hmm…………….. not quite. try again

Only gif I got, boss.

arrule

I hope July is kind to you. And I hope that this July, you are kind to yourself.

if Sherlock Holmes was a tumblr user he’d be like prev reblog I noticed you tagged this gifset of Ryan Gosling in the Barbie movie trailer with “I want to *** *** *****” which you likely wanted us to interpret with a vague sexual meaning however three weeks ago you posted that you were researching Greek myths for fun and ever since then you have “coincidentally” used prometheus as a topic in several of your funnyguy posts that only got 200 notes and coupled with your love of birds I can only assume that your tag actually meant “eat his liver” and that you’re deep in some sort of Prometheus hyperfixation that you’re coy about for some reason probably because it’s so weird. and then everyone on here would get all scared because of him

“It's taboo to admit that you're lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven't left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you're not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are. A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn't transition well to adult life, that you'd fall right through the cracks. And look at you now, it's happening.”

“ianthe has a secret plan” ok yeah probably but it’s funnier for me to imagine she fulfilled all her dark machinations by becoming a lyctor, and is now just desperately scrambling from book to book trying to stop everyone from blowing up the solar system and ruining it for her

women with big muscles in my honest opinion

"Crooked, previously-broken nose" is such a hot trait to give your characters. Im begging you to fuck up your characters' noses

coronabeth tridentarius is like. she's risen through the ranks of a terrorist organization that should want her dead. she cannot deliver a comeback to save her life. she was born to be a cavalier. she cannot keep an adept. everyone believed that she was a necromancer. she was so bad at pretending to be a necromancer. she's in love with judith. she's in love with anyone who doesn't want her. she's flirting with you. no she's not. nobody really knows her except her sister. her sister doesn't know her either. she's the nicest person you've ever met. she didn't give a flying fuck about babs. she's incredibly easy to emotionally manipulate. she's a revolutionary. she betrayed the revolution to reunite with her sister. she's probably going to kill her sister. she looks like the safer of the two. the author can't decide who's worse. she used to casually threaten suicide to get her way. she's high femme. she's a king. she's a knight. she's cain. she's dumb as hell. you are going to do exactly what she wants and you're not going to notice. she expects her every command of jump to be followed by a rave. she's boobs and hair and talk and a hell of a swordhand.

im letting the days go by and i dont even have a beautiful house or a beautiful wife

cuz everytime we touch i get this feeling

Thinking again about how Peeta gets sick from the train food, that it’s too rich for him, that he lived on stale and burnt bread, that he might have had materially enough food but not the right kinds. Thinking about how malnutrition is a spectrum, and food insecurity looks different in different households. That yes, he might not be one missed meal from starving to death, but that his teeth are probably weak. His mouth probably breaks out in ulcers when he eats fresh fruit. That he probably snuck down to the bakery when he was hungry and all there was were spoonfuls of sugar or jam. Maybe he had to take cake scraps to school for lunch, and how awful that would be, because it looks so luxurious but it’s not. How he probably loved when his dad bought one of Katniss’s squirrels because it was so fresh and alive, so unstale. Thinking a lot about food insecurity.

book dedications are so tender here is this piece of art i made for an audience of thousands. but really every word is for you

one thing about HRT i think is underdiscussed is the fact that if you're on testosterone, you can (sometimes) just produce Too Much Blood, and the way to fix having Too Much Blood is to Do Bloodletting. There are modern day people doing bloodletting as part of their transitions. why does no one talk about this

reading thru the informed consent packet my clinic gave me i was like. mhmm. yeah. yup. acne. seen that. infertility. kind of the point. dry vagina. that sucks but i was aware. more blood-- wait, what the fuck? more blood? and the doctor confirmed later that yeah, more blood can happen, and the way you treat that is just getting rid of blood, usually by donating. what the fuck. how have i culturally osmosed every effect of masculinizing hrt but the most insane one

I've actually seen it recommended that cis men do regular donations for the same reason.