just because it still makes you cry doesn’t mean you aren’t moving on

My dad told me a story recently about how he was in Boy Scouts or something and they went on a hike and were each given a rifle and one single bullet to practice shooting with (idk, it was the 70s or whatever). One of his friends, whom I’ll refer to as Steel Balls for reasons that will soon become clear, beckons my dad to a part of the woods and points to a giant hornets nest up in a tree. SB announces that he’s going to shoot it, waits for my dad to take cover (as one should in this situation), and fires off his only round into the nest. Sure enough, a swarm of pissed off hornets descend upon SB, who stands stoically and perfectly still at the base of the tree. Dad maintains that, despite their buzzing right around him, none of the hornets stung his friend, and they soon calmed down and returned to their newly renovated nest. SB turns back to face my dad and imparts this chunk of wisdom: “That’s the secret to dealing with hornets, Jim. They don’t know humans make rifle shots; they don’t know where the noise came from. You gotta stand still and don’t move, and they won’t chase you. If you run, they know you’re guilty.” Apparently dad was so awed he gave up his single bullet so SB could shoot the nest a second time, with the same results.

Long story short: hornets can sense guilt and there are people in the world who have tested this theory.

why is my pencil talking

why is your cat full of star wars sound effects

Chance The Rapper plays the original version of ‘Waves’ he made for Kanye.

Kanyes such an idiot

And THIS is why you don’t trust anyone, I don’t care how big the name is, with your art!

CHANCE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER THAN KANYE, honestly.

I swear I wish he would put this out

Tokyo Disney Resort:)

i cant believe you can eat Donald’s ass at Tokyo Disneyland

you’re all going to internet jail

outfit concept

no pants?

this is more of a pussy out look

One of the worst parts about growing up is finding out someone you once looked up to is actually a terrible person

That mood when ????? Shrug emoticon but less of a lopsided smile and more :/

¯\_( :/ )_/¯

everyone: “but youre doing so well in school”

me: i am literally dying i dont know who i am and im a shell of myself. i cant remember one thing i did last week, everything is a blur and i some how simultaneously sleep all the time and never sleep 

😂😂😂😂

Every detail about this image is fucking hilarious

I’m dying. It’s currently February 26th, 2018. AND Jerry Trainor himself wrote this article

This is the most dumb thing I’ve ever read. How high up his own ass is this jerry trainor?!

Jerry Trainor is famous for portraying characters that are very very weird and in some cases will see themselves as the center of everything. What he is doing here is making fun of the white people complaining about there not being enough white people in black panther and mocking how Hollywood whitewashes a lot of fictional characters by claiming he, a late 2000s preteen show actor, should have played that level of an iconic role in a major film. He’s not serious about all of this he is using his own reputation as a weird character actor to ridicule racists.

ever notice that the mean voice in ur head that insults u is awful confident for something thats literally never done anything in its life except be mean to you… like… one of us is pathetic and its not me buddy… get a hobby… yikes

self care is roasting the mean voice in your head

Someday archeologists are going to dig up Disney World and think that it was some type of bizarre mouse worshipping kingdom.

That’s because it is fucker.

I adore the catfish episodes when it turns out to be the actual person 😭💗

I hate those episodes I only watch for the deceit and lies

i need to go to dark cvs and pick up some DieQuil

finding out picasso died in 1973 feels like the fakest thing ive ever heard. everyone talks about him like he lived in a cave with nothing but a torch and paint he made from berries or bear shit or somethin but nah this dude probably sat down watchin looney tunes thinkin “damn i should draw some dude with a nose on his forehead thatd be dope” i feel so lied to

I hope no one lowkey hates me. Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Go big or go home

i miss how interested you were in me