funnytwittertweets
An apple farmer and a garlic farmer team up to fight their mutual nemesis, a vampire doctor
Dr. Acula
petboyfriend
me avoiding all my responsibilities
did she just kick a laser beam in half
cabbage-vendor
Feminism
Girl power
2 Sumatran tiger cubs were just born at the Memphis Zoo which is awesome bc they are critically endangered and also I am losing my mind over this image of the cubs and their mom. The babies’ tails make a heart….
Yes, I am a straight man. Yes, getting the shit beat out of me in an all-male mosh pit is an erotic experience for me. We exist
When I was in Norway at the Gojira show a guy in the pit grabbed me & said “open your mouth”
And I did
He suspected (correctly) that I was dehydrated & was judging by the color of my tongue
But I fully heard “open your mouth” & thought “wow this stranger is going to spit in my mouth”
And then, naturally, I thought “well let’s see where he’s going with this”
Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.
This is actually a common misconception! While the Unicorn Dog did exist and was discontinued following the extinction of unicorns in 2009, the Corn Dog is not a rebranding of the Unicorn Dog! The Corn Dog was created in 2003 by James H. Corn, though it remained a relatively unpopular Ohio treat until 2010 when Mr. Corn took the opportunity left by the Unicorn Dog’s exit from the market to take over the niche.
boopsloop010
I wanna lift his legs up and eat his hairy ass suck his balls and deep throat his fat cock until hes squirming and moaning and busts a fat load in my mouth and all over my face and forgets all about that silly little bitch
It was so important of him to say that like u guys just don’t get it…. Lives were saved
The Swedish warship Vasa. It sank in 1628 less than a mile into its maiden voyage and was recovered from the sea floor after 333 years almost completely intact. Now housed at the Vasa Museum in Stockholm, is the world's best preserved 17th century ship
It's the best preserved ship because it was the worst at being a ship
People who sculpt in marble do fabrics and shit just to flex don’t they
Marble is a medium in which you can be horny on main and everyone’s like “wow that’s classy.”
I think having skills to construct flesh out of stone gives you as much right to be horny on main as any creator god.
We are watching Elementary together and my mom took this because she thought we looked funny
Optical illusion🥺
same energy
Knowing I had been fooled by the dog, I was still fooled by the cat
Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?
Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.
Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.
Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?
Long collection of resources under the cut.
ALSO you should consider browsing Virtual Pet List and seeing if there are any pet sites you might be interested in playing. There is a whole genre of browser games right under your nose
Another one that I just found recently is this, which is a whole collection of blogs, organized by topic!
Look guys the real internet IS STILL THERE I'm going to cry
I need this. I fucking hate social media now. Too much doom scrolling, not enough fun and quirkiness!