oh no cigarettes for me thanks i just wanted to be in this dank alleyway with you

I got a laptop with Windows 11 for an IT course so I can get certified, and doing the first time device set-up for it made me want to commit unspeakable violence

Windows 11 should not exist, no one should use it for any reason, it puts ads in the file explorer and has made it so file searches are also web searches and this cannot be turned off except through registry editing. Whoever is responsible for those decisions should be killed, full stop.

Switch to linux, it's free and it's good.

u r absolutely right I have SO many complaints about Windows omg.

For anyone who'd like to follow along, I'm gonna share how to get around those things with group policies bc they're more user friendly and descriptive than registry editor imo :3 I'll also show how to get around needing a Microsoft account to get setup.

For the Device Setup

"OOBE" stands for Out Of Box Experience which is what that setup workflow is. But it also happens to be a folder with a little program in it that'll let you skip connecting to the internet; this makes it so you don't have to sign up with a Microsoft account and can just use a normal local one instead. And it already comes preinstalled! Here's how you get to it:

Now when you're brought back to the setup workflow, the page where you connect to the internet will have a new button on it that lets you say you don't have internet. Clicking that and proceeding through the rest of the setup lets you get around the Microsoft account thing.

Group Policies

You don't have to know much about them, these are just a bunch of specific settings for what your computer can or can't do that lets you decide how it works in different ways.

I'm gonna show you how to turn off the recommendations and internet stuff basically. For now bring up search and type gpedit, pick this

It'll open up to Local Group Policy Editor and we can get started :3c

Start Recommendations

In the side menu, go to User Configuration > Administrative Templates > Start Menu and Taskbar. Click on Settings to sort them with all the "Turn off" ones bumped to the top.

Here's what you should set:

Windows Spotlight

Back in the side menu, go down to Windows Components > Cloud Content

Cortana

In the side menu, this one's back at the top under Computer Configuration. You're gonna want to go to Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > Windows Components > Search

News and Interests

In the side menu go to Computer Configuration > Administrative Templates > Windows Components > News and interests.

Microsoft Account Login Nudges

When you don't use a Microsoft account they'll nudge you repeatedly to sign in so you can "get the most out of your experience" *gag*. The group policy for turning that off has a note that suggests it might not work with Windows 11 though (implicitly), so you can close the group policy editor window now and for this last one let's just open up the regular settings.

Go to System > Notifications > Additional settings, then uncheck all the boxes. And there ya go! (✿◠‿◠)ﾉ u are done.

Group policies are kind of a rabbit hole so while there is a lot more you could change or read into, for your own sanity's sake I would advise against it and say call it a day lol

This is all extremely good information, thank you very much for the addition!

time to evil jerk off

COUNTER SPELL

the climate of youtube as a platform makes me so depressed

youtube shorts. beautifully drawn commissioned thumbnails replaced with clickbait shocked reaction faces and red arrows because the video wasn't doing well. all caps video titles that don't even tell you what the video is. youtube shorts. the mr beast-ification of youtube. every video has to outdo the next. one a scale of 1 to 10. risk is not rewarded. youtube shorts. clips channels. youtube shorts.

anyone wanna become best friends and care for each other and talk all the time and have fun and be less lonely together

beautiful women named excessive heat warning keep messaging me

cooking as an adult is exactly the same as cooking in webkinz except when you make this

you have to eat it

i hate that troll has become a generic word for hater on the web. back in my day the only people worthy of the title were the guys managing to convince an entire forum thread that he really thought Samus Aran was a man called “Super Metroid”

Cishets can’t help but project their power dynamics unto gay and queer connections. I’ve had to explain several times in my life why asking “who’s the man and who’s the woman,” at least for me, is problematic and also fucking dumb.

That statement literally relies upon and props up power dynamics and gender roles which is such bullshit. And when asking folks back to unpack that, or a simple “what do you mean by that,” take note of watching people process out loud their own fucked up gender norms and outdated patriarchal compulsions.

cackling at this, can NOT believe it's a real, actual quote. it reads so much like one of those clickhole pieces

loving this new tiktok trend of 14 year olds thinking 1998 was actually the 1800s

Had the worst dream I bet anyone has ever had last night: that I was hungry so I was making myself a huge tuna salad sandwich but I was also in the middle of a public swimming pool so with people all around me I was messing around with tuna and mayo and bread trying not to get the dirty pool water in it or vice versa

when you’re telling someone that you were on the wikipedia page for defunct US retail outlets and they’re like “why” and you suddenly realize that this is not someone you can successfully communicate with

You can view more here.

its hard to remember everything isn't hopeless but things like this, things that show we aren't too far gone, help. Our planet has a future