Post Stage 1 RFF Phalloplasty

On January 30th 2019 I underwent my first stage of RFF Phalloplasty. It seemed appropriate that I return to this blog to at least give a bit of an update.

This stage included the creation of the phallus, urethral lengthening, vaginectomy, scrotoplasty, and glansplasty. Overall I’m healing well. I still haven’t decided if/how much I’ll update this blog but I have been updating my transition related Instagram: willssurgeryjourney

Hey Everyone, 

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been on this blog and I’m moving towards documenting my transition and more specifically my lower surgeon on Instagram for a variety of reasons. 

If you would like to follow or shoot me a message on there, please do. My instagram is willssurgeryjourney. 

Journey to Lower Surgery: Choosing a Surgeon

Choosing a surgeon was a new experience for me because for my top surgery and hysto, I only had one choice. I had three choices for phalloplasty, so I thought I would talk a little bit about how I made my decision.

The three options were: The Team at GRS Montreal led by Dr Belanger, Dr. Schecter and his team, and Dr. Crane and his team.

Before I go any further, I want to say that I respect everyone’s decision to go or not to go with any surgeon but these were the factors that led my personal decision.

The Montreal Team:

I always assumed I would have my surgery in Montreal because it’s the only place in Canada currently performing phalloplasty and when funding first became available in B.C. it was only for that clinic.

For a few reasons, I was a bit hesitant. First, they don’t do UL in stage one. It’s really important to me that I get that in the first stage, as I think would have a really hard time, mentally, dealing with that. I have heard of a few cases lately where they have but that’s done when the patient is under and not something decided on beforehand.

Another, smaller thing, is that you have to have an in person consultation and I live on the other side of the country, getting there wasn’t really a viable option. While they are in Canada, which seems like a bit of an advantage, they are actually quite far away from where I live.

Another problem is that they won’t report on complication rates. I know that almost all complication rates that have been reported on are self-reported and inherently flawed to a degree, however, not reporting at all made me uneasy.

As well, I’ve been informed that they require electrolysis not only before stage one but between stage one and two, below the belt. If this could be avoided, I would like it to be. Overall, I wasn’t super comfortable with the idea of having surgery with them.

I was given two options for surgery in the states; Dr. Schecter and Dr. Crane.

Dr. Schecter

A big pro with Dr. Schecter is that he does do UL in the first stage. He does have a pretty short wait list which I know is a pro for a lot of people but personally, not for me, as I needed time to do hair removal and also get other parts of my life sorted. He also requires an in person consult which would be difficult for me. From reading reviews I wasn’t completely comfortable with his approach to surgery at all times. It appears that he might be coming from more an old school approach, including requiring patients going off testosterone for surgery. It also doesn’t seem like this is really his niche or that he performs it as often as other surgeons.

Dr. Crane

Dr. Crane appealed to me for a couple of reasons. One, is that he is a trained urologist and plastic surgeon, has a lot of training, and has done a high volume of these surgeries. He does the UL and the glansplasty in the first stage which is also a huge benefit for me. He also doesn’t require an in person consult which was helpful for my particular situation. I’ve also seen the most results from him and I’m impressed.

His wait list is pretty long but that’s also okay for me because like I said, I need some time for hair removal and other stuff.

Of course, he is a bit of a controversial topic in the community right now and I don’t dismiss that but based on my research and also consulting with him, I am feeling comfortable with my decision to go forward with surgery. Given my three options, he is the surgeon I feel best about going forward with.

Outed at Work

On Friday, I was outed at work to a coworker at one of my jobs, where I prefer to be stealth. It was fine in the end but I’m still pretty mad and uncomfortable that it happened.

For context, I work at the university where I completed my undergraduate degree and my student number became my employee number. I haven’t actually had to use the ID since I graduated in 2016. My coworker was training me on something new on the computer and I needed to use my ID. When I couldn’t remember it my coworker just told me to look myself up in the internal system since I’m an alum it’ll be there. I did without thinking and not only did “William” come up so did my birth name. I legally changed my name during the application process and officially changed it in the university system my first day of school, in 2013. Only apparently when you change your name in the system, they keep your old name there. I assumed it would be hidden away or something but no, it’s right there.

My coworker started to say something before she realized what was going on. I think she said something along the lines of:

“Oh two names came up, that’s weird, oh it’s the name number ...”

And then I clicked away.

She was fine about it but I still felt awkward. My contract in that department ends soon but I’ll still be working on campus and the knowledge that anyone with access to the internal system can see my birth name is making me pretty uncomfortable.

5 years and 3 months on testosterone today ✌🏾

About a month ago I started to work out again. This is the first time since I first got sick with lupus. It hasn’t been as consistent as I hoped because I’m coming off some meds and the withdrawal symptoms can be pretty rough sometimes. But still, it’s good to be back working out whether at home exercises, in the gym, or swimming. It’s nice to get back to being more active. I’m enjoying seeing some changes especially now that I’m on the year countdown until lower surgery but more than anything I’m just enjoying being able to be more active again. It’s odd that less than a year ago, I wasn’t really able to walk, and now I just finished 40 minutes of weight lifting and body weight exercises.

Sweatpants and a T-Shirt. For something really simple and basic it took me many years to get to this, to get to hang out and be comfortable. Being able to medically transition has allowed me to live a fairly comfortable, everyday life. That’s huge.

2017 Reflections, 2018 Hopes & Goals

2017 was a long year. It was the year that my partner and I did our last stretch of long distance, it was the year I finished grad school and entered into my chosen field, and the year I got funding and a date for lower surgery. It was a year of things that I never expected to happen, happened. It was also a hard year. While my grad program was great and I made a lot of good friends it was also a very intense program and it was really hard to be away from my partner and friends. It was also the year where I got sick in a way that I never expected to. The end of April was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel, it was when I would get to move back home and be with my partner and finish a great internship, but instead a few days before I left Ontario, I started to get sick. I kept expecting to get better but didn’t. I tried to push through but kept getting worse until I could no longer push through; after doctors visits, ER trips, and lots of tests - I was diagnosed with lupus. I spent the better part of the summer bedridden. It was a long year. 

Going forward in 2018, I’m not making resolutions because they usually end up giving my anxiety and feeling like a failure. Instead, I’m setting home hopes and goals. In 2018, I would like to be more active (now that I can walk again) but also patient with my body as I still learn what it means to live with lupus, I would like to get back to cooking more and trying out new recipes as it’s one of my favourite things to do, I would like to work on my French again, and I hope to get back to producing more original content on this blog. 

Here’s to a 2018 which consists of calmer times, happier times, and times with less lupus!

Journey to Lower Surgery: Hair Removal Consultation

Yesterday, I had a consultation at Fairview Electrolysis in Vancouver. They have a lot of experience working with trans folks including phalloplasty patients which is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to be able to go with someone who understands the procedure already because explaining just seemed awkward. I was really impressed overall and she gives great rates and discounted block rate options for trans folks. 

After she explained how she does hair removal and all of that she did three test patches to see what my hair was like. I was optimistic because I don’t have very course or thick arm hair. She confirmed that this is true and apparently my arm hair is quite weak which means that removal will be easier. The hair on the underside of my arm, where the urethra will come from, is especially minimal and thin. She thinks she can clear the arm in three hours so I’ve booked in for three, one hour sessions next week. After the arm is clear, it’s about keeping an eye on re-growth and removing any hairs as soon as they start to come back in. 

I’m excited to be moving forward in this regard. I’ll be interested to see how much and how quickly the hair grows back. She was happy that I came in now because I have over a year until my surgery date and the more time the better. I took some pictures of my arm yesterday, so I’ll do some comparison photos after the sessions next week. 

Shameless photos because I got a new haircut the other day

Journey to Lower Surgery: Tentative Surgery Date

I received a call from Trans Care BC today and I have a tentative date with Dr. Crane - January 30th 2019! It’s tentative because they have to confirm with the aftercare facility that I can be there at that time, so fingers crossed. I also said that I would be open to taking a cancellation spot, if one comes up that works for me.

It’s sort of a perfect time. It’s long enough away that I have time to complete hair removal, save up some money, and make sure my health (in terms of my lupus) is in check. At the same time, it’s pretty close which makes me feel really excited. I was actually expecting a date in mid to late 2019, so this is a nice surprise. It’s very strange to think that I’ll only have to deal with being pre surgery for just over a year. Unbelievable and exciting.

Journey to Lower Surgery: MSP Funding Approval

I forgot to post but last Friday I received my approval for provincial funding for out of country surgery. I’ve been approved to have phalloplasty with Dr. Crane in Austin, Texas. The surgery is still a while off but having this next step done is a big relief. The funding is only good for 12 months so I’ll need to apply for an extension but hopefully that shouldn’t be a problem. I had to apply for an extension for my top surgery too. Now, I’m just waiting to hear about a date and need to book in to start my hair removal asap. This is an exciting time.

Once again, Aydian Dowling is invading spaces that he does belong in. I’m enraged by seeing him continue to insert himself into spaces that are not for him. Last year he was the cover of Gay Times despite not identifying as gay. He was praised for being the first transgender man on the cover - that should have gone to a gay trans man. Now, he’s the face of Trans Awareness Week for a lesbian dating app despite not being a lesbian. God forbid that go to a trans woman who is a lesbian. He uses his immense privilege for celebrity and then calls himself an activist. I have never seen him do one ounce of activism or use his privilege to uphold the voices or help those who are most marginalized in our community.