Girls, Girls, Girls

Enhance

me absolutely plastered at my own wedding with my beautiful wife right beside me

nice legs daisy dukes makes a mango doot doot

Physically I’m here but spiritually I’m lying in a Waffle House parking lot somewhere in rural Kentucky, slowly bleeding out from several stab wounds

‘I Take Issue’ project- wrote my first graphic novelette! Not something I’d normally say, but I’m super proud of this.

(please excuse the weird layout, it’s formatted for printing rather than internet)

I had to reblog this. Because it’s not only beautifully painted, its idea is something that needs to be shared, again and again, so that more people will take their bloody buckets off.

Thank you for making this.

This is Very powerfull

“Popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard When we drink, we do it right gettin slizzard”

9 year old me:

Bitch WHAT THE FUCK

what the FUCK

???!!!!??

Yo, this guy sold his soul for this or something holy fuck

i feel like i just watched something forbidden for mortal eyes

I’m the black lady in the audience LIKE DAMN OKAY

So….do i go to church tommorrow or stay in?

MAGIC TRICKS ARE SIMPLY SLEIGHT OF HAND, USING REDIRECTION TO TAKE YOUR FOCUS OFF THE THING THEYRE MANIPULATING. THAT IS NOT THIS. IT SEEMS LIKE IT AT FIRST BUT THEN HE STARTS DOING THIS SHIT IN PLAIN SIGHT, AND LETTING US ACTUALLY SEE THE SHIT TRANSFORMING AND CHANGING PLACES. THIS ISN’T SLEIGHT OF HAND.

THIS ISN’T A MAGIC TRICK. ITS JUST FUCKING MAGIC.

???? what??? the fuck???????

“Oh, I think I see the moments there where the actual transfer is happening, but he’s really good at it,” I thought at first. 

Promptly followed by, “Wait what the fuck what the FUCK”

HOW THE FUCK

Alien: What are you doing?

Human, petting a cat: She’s sweet and sleepy, so I’m petting her.

Alien: But why is this other carnivore inside your home? Is it competing for territory?

Human: Lots of people have cats, they’re pets. But I mean, I’ve kind of accepted that she basically owns the place by now.

Alien: Does she serve any function for housekeeping? She seems too small the guard your home.

Human: Nah, she just naps all day mostly. She has been known to shred the furniture, though.

Alien: She provides no service and destroys your property and yet you allow her in your home anyway?! Why would y-

Cat: *starts purring and kneading paws*

Alien: *soft gasp*

very small

[gay panic]

unmute this now

when you can’t stop thinking of that one joke