The end where they’re two people fucked me up the most

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

nothing’s worse than those kids who got into water fights and then cried when they got wet

this is peak Craigslist

instead of Friends they should’ve called it Friends & Ross

every conflict the Friends had to face was directly the cause of Ross

just saw an episode where chandler was trying to give joey money since he was struggling financially but joey was too proud to take it so chandler made up a gambling game where joey always won so chandler could give him money without him knowing. perfect example of two great Friends. then joey, confident with his skills in the game, goes to ross to play with him and loses it all to ross. joey tells chandler and he goes to ross and explains the situation and how the game was fake and asks for his money back but ross wouldn’t give it back. just one of the many examples of ross being a worthless piece of shit

I just watched the episode where Rachel hires a male nanny, Sandy, who is perfectly qualified and experienced. All of the friends love him including Joey who says that he is ‘learning so much’ from him. Except of course Ross who is a dick to Sandy the entire episode just because Ross doesn’t think being a nanny is a man’s job. Ross even went as far as to ask if he was gay in the job interview which I’m pretty sure is a big no-no. Ross eventually ends up firing Sandy purely because he’s a man in a female dominated job and because he thinks is too sensitive which is hilarious because the only sensitive one here is Ross and his fragile masculinity.

What about the one where Ross gets upset because his two year old son wants to play with a Barbie? He spends the entire episode trying to convince him that G.I. Joe is better.

How about the part where Rachel got a dream job in Paris, and fuckboy Ross who had treated Rachel like shit in the past, decided to try and win her back at the airport when he should have just let her go to her dream job. 

I watched an episode where Ross and Rachel got trashed in Vegas and then went to the chapel and got married. When they came to Ross wouldn’t get an annulment because he didn’t want to be known as the guy who gets divorced. He is kind of awful.

KEEP THIS THREAD GOIN KIDS DRAG THAT FUCKER

Or the one where Ross yells at Rachel for dating Elizabeth’s dad because it’s “weird” for him but had no problem going out with Rachel’s sister, Jill, when Rachel had an issue with it.

Or how about the one where Rachel is having the time of her life at a job she loves, but insecure douche canoe Ross has a problem that she’s working with another man, and gives Rachel such a hard time about it, she decides she needs a break from their relationship

The show Friends actually invented the term ‘friendzone’ to describe Ross’ inability to show Rachel that he wanted to be with her (back at the start).

I have never watched friends but wow what a ride. This Ross guy sounds like a fuckin dick

Or how about the fact that he was a complete homophobic asshole to his ex wife Carol and her wife Susan.

dealing with the worst case scenario

I feel like this could be useful in my future

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

Parallel Earth.

AMAZING

I LOVE

My favorite band’s b-sides are better than your favorite band’s greatest hits.

With Trump’s election and the threat of fascism, Twitter user Raphael Bob-Waksberg reminds us of Martin Niemöller’s words after WWII:

my lord i had forgott the Fart

how stone cold was queen liz tho guy’s been away for seven years & the first thing she does is bring up the fart

my favorite photo in 2017 at ‪Women’s March ‬⁩🚺

A Package Marked “Return to sender”

by reddit user manen_lyset

My neighbor is one of those annoying wannabe YouTube personalities. Over the years, I’ve seen him cough out cinnamon, lay flat on the hood of his car as it slowly creeps down the driveway, and douse himself in lukewarm water, all the while screaming epic win, epic fail, or, fuck, epic maintenance of the status quo, for all I know. It can get tiring to watch him go about his shenanigans in the pursuit of viral fame. 

So, when he knocked on my door the other day, told me he was going away for a few weeks, and asked that I get his mail, honestly, it was a relief. I can’t explain the peace of mind I had knowing I didn’t have to brace myself for any of his stupidity for a while. I was always afraid his stunts would wind up bleeding over into my life.

Keep reading

Yuriko Kotani /  Russell Howard’s Stand Up Central

i have been sitting in this burger king for 4 hours

they don’t come to take your order you have to go to the counter