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Welcome To My Cold War

@jonathanarcher

Boost | adult | she/her
follows/replies from @theboost
not actually a 55 year old man
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jonathanarcher
startrekswimsuitspecial
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startrekswimsuitspecial

Because you demanded it!! Introducing the second annual…

[ID: yellow text in the Star Trek TOS font that says “Star Trek Swimsuit Special” over a space background. End ID]

That’s right, it’s the summer time, and what’s a better way to celebrate than with another swimsuit special. Same rules as last time: draw or write about your choice of Star Trek character from any show in a swimsuit or swimwear adjacent activities, such as going to the beach. It’s up to you and anyone can participate! There are literally zero qualifications needed! You don’t even have to dm me to ask if you can, you already have my permission! Make it sexy! Make it silly! Have fun!

Submissions will be close on roughly June 30. If you have any questions feel free to ask and get to work!

#hello!
jonathanarcher
jonathanarcher
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jonathanarcher

TOS: Everyone on this ship desires Captain Kirk carnally

TNG: Everyone on this ship desires Captain Picard carnally, but in a repressed way

DS9: Everyone on this space station desires Captain Sisko as a father figure and also carnally

VOY: Everyone in this quadrant desires Captain Janeway carnally

ENT: No one on this ship desires Captain Archer carnally

DSC: Everyone on this ship desires Captain Geor- okay new ship new captain actually no one on this ship desires Captain Lo- oh okay he’s gone now so I’m sure some people want to know Captain Saru- No it’s changed again but everyone on this ships desires Captain Pike car- okay Pike’s gone so we’re back to people on this ship possibly desiring Captain Saru and he’s gone again. Everyone on this ship desires to work under Captain Burnham though.

#this was funny
jonathanarcher

You literally don’t understand. He doesn’t want to be like other people he doesn’t want to be like you!!!!

jonathanarcher

Jonathan Archer may not be the best captain. He may not be the smartest captain. He may not be the coolest captain. But he is certainly the captain who’s name is an insult in the most cultures and you can’t take that away from him

#and it has different meanings for each one! for instance a klingon calling someone an archer would be saying you’re dishonorable and I want#you to die while a vulcan saying it would mean you’re supremely illogical while a human saying it means you’re a war criminal. it’s only a#compliment on andoria where it means you’re a totally cool and handsome guy#ent#jonathan archer
jonathanarcher

Bitches be like I can’t stand strange new worlds five minutes later me and the lower decks crossover 

jonathanarcher

I still think one of the funniest jokes I’ve ever made is when I made a threes company/tos fusion and implied that jack is still pretending to be gay and if Kirk finds out he’s straight he WILL be kicked off the ship. I don’t think any of you understand how funny the mere premise of threes company is

jonathanarcher

Accidentally posted xmen on main. Or side. Anyway if you want to see me talk about marvel comics follow me at @xmenred2022

jonathanarcher

I do think james gunn should kill himself for stealing farscape characterizations to make the guardians of the galaxy into his ocs which made it impossible to get a farscape reboot and I do think Ben Browder (unemployed king) deserved a bigger role in gotg 2 then guy covered in makeup and I do think it’s funny that he got to do his fucked little British accent for his 5 seconds of screentime. All of these thoughts can coexist.