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Hi I'm Jon

@jon-is-out-of-this-world

Son of Superman, lover of noodles, part of @dc-is-out
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i-am-a-fish
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i-am-a-fish

nobody talks about this so I'm just gonna say

I FUCKING LOVE GROCERY STORES

THERE ARE SO MANY PRODUCTS THEY'RE ALL SO COLORFUL

I GET TO IMAGINE EATING SO MANY THINGS IT'S A SENSORY WONDERLAND

AND THE CEREAL ISLE?????!?

SO MANY BOXES OF CURATED EXPERIENCES

THE DONUT DISPLAY????!?!?

I'M NOT GONNA BUY A DONUT BUT IT'S FUN TO IMAGINE WHAT THEY TASTE LIKE

THIS IS A GROCERY STORE FAN PAGE

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sadlybeans
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sadlybeans

Jonathan Kent headcanons✨

to be fair some of these are for all kryptonians but i wanted to talk about him exclusively because i love him

  • He has a lot of behaviours/habits that do look weird, which is strange on itself because he’s been raised as a human and his dad was raised as a human, it just seems to come naturally.
  • Despite not acting completely human, he can read social cues and facial expressions really well even without his super senses.
  • The glasses: why are they a good disguise? My personal opinion is that kryptonian eyes look completely alien and unique. Not only do they have a colour that’s too intense to be real, their pupils are not black- they’re a lighter tone than their irises. So like, the glasses drive attention away and probably have some sort of film that helps conceal them.
  • He can’t tan much. As a kid he was pale as a ghost but as he grew up he could get a bit more melanin, tho never too much. Which is funny bc I think Clark does have a good tan.
  • Something about how kryptonians look makes you feel unsettled after you look at them long enough, and if you stare for quite a bit you’ll inevitably think of the uncanny valley effect. They look human enough to be very convincing, but they’re too perfect and flawless.
  • Jon’s half ‘n half but he still looks more kryptonian than human, he’s a mini Clark after all.
  • If you asked me to design him all grown up I would actually make him shorter- mostly bc I think it’d be hilarious for ppl to underestimate him. Imagine how many idiots would overlook this pretty boy only to be hit in the face with the fact he’s kryptonian. Lots of wasted comedy right there.
  • He has no fashion sense. I’m sorry but it’s true and you know it.
  • His childhood hero crush was definitely Nightwing.
  • Growing up is realising his (Nightwing’s) little brother’s much cuter.
  • He’s indeed a ray of sunshine, but he’s also a sarcastic and problematic little shit as product of hanging around the Wayne kids far too much.
  • I’ve probably mentioned this in one of my previous posts but he has a room of his own in Wayne manor ever since he started being bffs with Damian. he prefers to sleep with Damian now but it’s still there.
  • He’s probably the only person brave enough to call Bruce uncle when he was a kid.
  • He’s diagnosed with ADHD but it’s actually just his half alien brain working differently/faster than a human’s, which makes it harder to focus since humans do things too slow in comparison.
  • Once he decides he’s your friend you’re never getting rid of him.
  • the age up never happened it’s true i’m actually DC
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batarangsoundsdumb
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batarangsoundsdumb

jon kent nature youtuber where he posts artful homemade nature documentaries with full narration about like 'the lady bug´s quest for food' and then on the flipside there's also 30 second shaky cam videos of him trying to talk to a bison about dating and getting attacked.

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incorrectbatfam
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incorrectbatfam
Jon: Dad?
Billy: Clark?
Clark: Yeah?
Jon: Could Billy and I walk to Damian's house?
Clark: Sure, but Gotham's a rough city. So you remember, if anyone offers you drugs, you say?
Billy: "I am down, how much for crack?"
Clark: No, no, you are not down.
Billy: "I am not down for any of your crack."
Clark: If a stranger asks you to get into their van, you say...
Jon: "On my way!"
Clark: Nope, not right. Stranger danger.
Jon: Yeah, that's what I meant.
Clark: What if a stranger pulls up to you with their car and they're like, "Hey, I can't find my dog. Can you get in and help me search for my dog?"
Billy: This one's easy! You help them find that fucking dog.
Clark: Nope.
Billy: Right, right, right. Fuck that dog.
Clark: What if someone offers you candy?
Jon: I'd take my shirt off for a Snickers.
Clark: Okay I'm thinking maybe I should just drive you.
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thatasianstereotype
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thatasianstereotype
Damian: Father, I have a problem to deal with. 
Bruce: What is it? 
Damian: It has come to my attention that I harbor non-platonic affections for the Kryptonian I tolerate the most. To keep from being distracted by thoughts of Jon being propositioned by anyone else, I will simply advance our friendship to the next stage. 
Bruce: *confused AF but still wants to be a good dad* Okay. Good luck. 
Damian: I do not need a fickle thing such as luck. I will succeed in gaining you another son so you should not have the need to pick up a random stranger off the streets again. 
[LATER] 
Damian: Grayson, you must have a multitude of methods for beginning a relationship considering the numerous partners you bedded in the past.
Dick: It’s not that difficult. I just walk up to them, smile, and ask if they want to go out with me. It usually works.
[After scaring Jon who thought he was sick because he was smiling]
Damian: Grayson has failed me.
Damian: Drake, how did you convince the Clone to take you on as a romantic partner? 
Tim: I made a 117 slide presentation detailing how we would be better as boyfriends. 
Damian: I see. 
[After 212 powerpoint slides]
Damian: Unfortunately, Jon does not have the attention span for such a thing and did not understand the overall message. 
Damian: Todd—
Jason: Seriously? Where’s the romance? The wooing? The effort? 
Damian: I put a lot of effort in my presentation. 
Jason:
Jason: You’re hopeless just like Bruce who relies on his nonexistent charm to get women.