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Great Big Outer Space Dunce

@joi-in-the-tardis / joi-in-the-tardis.tumblr.com

Joi: 37, baker, very soft and covered in stars, emperor of warm fuzzies, unapologetic punster, hope dealer, squishiest of marshmallows, friend of the laser yeti, whimsy goblin, enby biro ace, INFJ, 4w5, ~@onthedriftinthetardis' Best Unicorn~Cryptid Bestie: @jemsauce
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joi-in-the-tardis
imogen-theimaginedcat
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micro-usb
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disast3rtransp0rt

As someone who took etiquette lessons, politeness is an incredibly effective tool for disarming bigots. You can either force them to reconsider their words/actions by directly and calmly confronting their behavior (by using the rules of society in your favor), or you can dip entirely while they appear to be in the wrong.

Both options are great.

Because the thing is, when bigots pick fights, they are 100% counting on you to get louder than them. Or meaner. They want you to react emotionally and provide fodder for their 'You're Too Emotionally Immature To Understand' cannon.

What they aren't expecting you to do is say one of the following phrases in a polite, concerned tone:

  1. Are you okay?
  2. That's not the kind of language I was raised to use with others.
  3. Do you need a moment to think on why that wasn't acceptable?
  4. This is no way to engage in intelligent conversation. Please try that again in a kinder tone if you'd like this to continue. (I really like this one because it lets you turn their public-shame rhetoric around)

For those of you who'd are spiteful and/or dealing with Fundamentalists/Evangelicals/generally shitty Christians:

  1. What's happening in your life to cause you this much anger? I can't imagine hurting so badly that I need to hurt other people.
  2. Who taught you it was acceptable to treat other people this way? Certainly not the Jesus I remember.
  3. Whatever happened to 'judge not lest ye be judged'?
  4. If I talked like that in front of my parents or grandparents I would be ashamed.
  5. I think there's something you need to pray on before we try and have this conversation.

And my all time favorite:

"It sounds to me like there are some seriously dark and angry forces at work in your heart."

(Nothing stops a Christian bigot in their tracks faster than implying the Devil is causing their bigotry. But you MUST be calm, polite, and gentle with your tone and wording. It is absolutely fair to twist the rules and play them at their own game, but you gotta play hard.)

TLDR: It's much faster to use etiquette, politeness, and rhetoric reversal when eviscerating idiots online and in person, because they aren't expecting you to weaponize their behaviors back in their direction. Don't get angry, get spitefully polite! :)

#i had a white guy make a comment to me about juneteenth and pride month in my check out lane the other day#'are you okay?' would've been helpful#my dude I'm queer and not the only one and I'm the minority in this department#read the room#are you okay???
joi-in-the-tardis
bad-----wolf
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frostedpuffs

does anyone else hate that work takes up like 90% of your life and you literally are always working and have to form plans and important things and even seeing friends or eating meals around work. it's always just work. im spending my life just being At Work. i don't have time for hobbies or for seeing friends bc it’s always Work. like two days off a week isn't even enough because my days off aren't consecutive so i just spend those days exhausted or doing errands or house chores. there is not enough Time. all the time goes to Work. WHY IS LIFE THIS WAY. humans were not meant for this

#fuck capitalism
joi-in-the-tardis

If there's one thing I'm good at, it's cluttering thoroughly decorating a space:

In other words, I busted down the "action figures and decor" boxes today. The funko box is still 3/4 full, but it's waiting on wall shelves to be put up.

#joi rambles#pop to my corn#the unpackening
joi-in-the-tardis
pellaaearien
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bonyassfish

I think one of the reasons drag kings aren’t as popular as drag queens, aside from the fact that straight women don’t like us, is that people are uncomfortable acknowledging masculinity as a performance. Like we as a society know that femininity is a performance, with its own costumes and rules. Masculinity is also a performance, and nothing makes that more clear than someone making an exaggeration of it

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bonyassfish

To everyone saying that “uh actually it’s cause drag kings aren’t as visually interesting”

Kreme Inakuchi

Wang Newton

Murray Hill

Hugo Grrl

Lotus Boy

Landon Cider

Manny Dingo

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wienners

Even more :) If you dont see visually interesting and amazing drag kings on your feed you are not paying enough attention, go and find them! Here’s some that I know!

Showponii (from brooklyn, femgay drag king and AMAZING performer!)

The Cakeboys (a drag king collective made of sweaty eddie, senario, muscles monty, and richard!)

Henlo Bullfrog (from philly, also has made costumes for drag race!!)

TJ MAXX! (MUA! Amazing artist too)

KLONDYKE! One of the most amazing performance artists i’ve ever had the pleasure of watching

ZANAX ! Philly and NYC, some of the coolest visuals in drag right now

And that’s that follow more kings on insta thats where the drags all post for event promotion :-))

#drag#drag kings#queued up and fancy free
joi-in-the-tardis
trashboatprince
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hedgehog-moss

The Least Intimidating bakery in the village has closed for good so now I’ve got to go to the Intimidating Bakery, it’s awful. If you don’t have a PhD in being French I don’t recommend going to that bakery, here’s the humiliating account of the 3 times I’ve visited it so far:

  • the first time I went in there I pointed at one of those extra-skinny baguettes and said “a flute, please” feeling pretty sure of myself, and the baker said “… that’s a ficelle” (you idiot) (was implied) “a flute is twice as large as a baguette.”
  • That’s insane, first of all, a flute is a skinny instrument. Call your fat baguette a bassoon, lady—I made some timid remark about how it would make more sense for a flute to be a skinny bread and the baker said, “In Paris it is. I thought you were from the South?”
  • oh, that hurt
  • I guess I’m from the part of the South that’s so close to Italy the bread’s waist size matters less than whether it’s got olives in it, but I left the bakery having an existential crisis over whether living in Paris had made me forget my roots
  • the Least Intimidating Bakery just had normal baguettes vs. seedy baguettes vs. horny baguettes (easy mode, some have seeds, some have horns), while the new bakery has breads that are only different on a molecular level—there’s a good old loaf and then another, identical loaf called a bastard? google told me a bastard is “halfway between a baguette and a bread” but denouncing them like “those are not regulation-sized bastards” would get me banned from the bakery for life
  • on my 2nd visit (while I stood in line discreetly googling baguette terminology) there was an English tourist who asked for a baguette while pointing at what was either a rustique or a sesame and I felt a bit worried for them, but the baker just clarified “this one?” to waive any responsibility if they found out later it wasn’t a classic baguette, then handed them the bread without educating them in a judgmental tone and I felt envious
  • I know it’s because she thinks the English are beyond saving but still it made me want to come back with a fake moustache and an English accent so I wouldn’t be expected to play bakery on expert mode just because I’m French. I asked for a pastry this time and the baker asked “no bread with that?” which felt cruel, like she wanted me to sprinkle myself with ashes and admit out loud that my level of bread proficiency isn’t as advanced as I once believed it was
  • The third time I went, I had lost all self-confidence and I hesitantly pointed at a bread and said “I’d like this, uh—what is it called?” and the baker looked at me in disbelief and said “That’s a baguette.”
  • God.
  • for the record, if that stupid bread had been flanked by a skinny bread (ficelle) and a fat one (flute) then yeah of course I would have known to call it a baguette, but in the absence of reference points I now felt lost and scared of being called a Parisian again
  • it’s hard to express the depth of my suffering so I’ll just let the facts speak for themselves: this morning a French person (me) stood in a French bakery in France surrounded by French people and pointed at a baguette and said “what is this called”
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nudityandnerdery

The pain….

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elodieunderglass

🪦for pun.

​in this situation I would probably attempt charm, and ask the baker to choose for me - “whatever’s good today” - therefore leading to new awkward interactions as the baker forcibly, scornfully assigns me bread that might not actually be the best.

joi-in-the-tardis
mxmollusca
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teeny-tiny-revenge

We don't talk about the insane amount of chemistry Stede and Ed have enough. Like, anytime they're on screen together they just fit. Honestly that's what sold me on this ship, like, immediately. I was late to the party; I knew they were a romantic pairing when I started watching. I'm also very ace, and romance in shows often just loses me, because they like to focus on how attracted the characters are and nothing else and it makes my brain bluescreen. But this? Have you fucking seen them? From their first actual conversation in Episode 4 on, they just click. They have so much chemistry. It bowled me right the fuck over. "Oh, it's this type of relationship, one of those magical times when you meet someone and you're just on the same wavelength." Two puzzle pieces slotting right into place. From the get go, they just bounce off each other. They compliment each other just right.

I love the way they had Mary describe love to Stede at the end of the season, because, yeah, that's it, but also, that's been what they were written and acted as all the way from the beginning. Mary's speech clicks with Stede because that's exactly what his relationship with Ed was from the start. We've seen several episodes of them representing this description perfectly. They understand each other, find things about each other charming and interesting that turn other people in their acquaintance away. They enjoy a lot of the same things, yes, but they also just... enjoy things in the same manner. That's part of what I mean by they're on the same wavelength. They are delighted by Stede's model ship and his fancy fabrics and his hidden closet, and by the theatrics of a good fuckery. They have fun together, and they have fun because the other one has fun. This is a couple who genuinely enjoy each other, who can just hang out and talk for hours about inane things and weirdly specific niche interests, and that's my jam right there. You can just see them enjoying spending time together in all areas of life, and that's so rare to see?

It also makes me more optimistic for whatever will happen in season two, because yeah, things look bleak right now, and yes, they hurt each other and they'll have to heal and regrow their trust and all that, but this foundation of just being so good together, this two perfect puzzle pieces chemistry, that's still there, and they'll find that again once they move a bit past the hurt. It's very very difficult to stay mad with someone who is this much on your frequency, who finishes your thoughts and sentences and almost effortlessly just gets you.

#our flag means death#ofmd#queued up and fancy free
joi-in-the-tardis

I like how when I sat down with the store manager to step down from this position he explained that he hadn't even said anything to me until that day. Yes sir, I noticed. I had already decided what I was going to do before you said anything to me that morning, but that morning nailed the coffin. That this was taking it easy on me was part of the reason I quit as soon as I did. I was already in over my head. 🤷‍♂️

In any case, today is better.

#joi rambles#i mean#if you've got to be defensive about it then you know you did something to be defensive about#but what do i know lol#work stuff