what if I dangled a string in front of your face

Me after one cup of coffee : i am beautiful and fast

me: today i will play video game

*turns on video game*

me: 

dwayne “the dwayne” dwayne

wtf are these kind of posts

mind your own business

*groupchat is lit af*

Me: hi guys

*Gets no response for an hour*

*me on my own blog*

this is the best blog i ever seent

hate when people think I know stuff. I dont know anything, I just use Google. I Google simple words because they look like they're spelled wrong and I cant be sure. I Google how to boil eggs every time I do it. this is who I am.

did you know that the letters in LA stand for:

Is this for real?

I promise

Kyaaaa!!!!! *the skirts of my dress blow in the wind to reveal several conceled weapons*

This is... exactly what it’s like teaching preschool

How vaccine works

oi guv

be a good egg and toss us a quid me ma n pa are dead