A quick orange themed painting for fun, based on a photo I came across online 🍊

picnic date :)

mysterious creature of uncertain origin

I deeply admire Harrison Ford's unfailing commitment to taking beloved characters out with him every time he leaves a franchise

someone recommend me some good fantasy books that aren’t centred on a war, please, my crops are dying

The Greta Helsing novels by Vivian Shaw - practical doctor to the undead defeats mildly ominous interdimensional threats with the aid of domestic vampires and a demon accountant.

Sunshine by Robin McKinley - practical baker is captured by vampires, escapes, reluctantly teams up with better vampire to kill the bad one.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones - young hat maker ages 60 years overnight, proceeds to upend the life of a disaster wizard while learning self-confidence.

the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett - hard to encapsulate, but equally funny and hard-hitting, tackling race and gender and corruption and other forms of inequality while also, like, making fun of post offices and Hollywood and Shakespeare. Three or four tackle war, true, but there’s something like 35 others to choose from.

the Accidental Turn series by J.M. Frey - recent Ph.D of colour lands in the Fantasyland™ she did her thesis on, goes off about agency and diversity while recovering from the Dark Lord’s attentions and learning the truth about her fictional crush.

Middlegame by Seanan McGuire - evil alchemist creates superpowered children to assist world takeover; children just want to be a family; family is complicated.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik - young woman takes over family business, must outwit fairies with a love of gold.

the Enchanted Forest Chronicles by Patricia C. Wrede - princess runs away to become a dragon’s housekeeper, fights off rescuers, solves problems large and small, melts wizards.

the October Daye novels by Seanan Mcguire - Half-fae detective solves murders, finds missing persons, develops found family, can’t stop self from upending the social order.

The Golem and the Djinni by Helene Wecker - A quiet golem, a tempestuous djinn, Gilded Age New York. Immigrants, identity, friendship, hope, and self-discovery.

An Unkindness of Magicians by Kat Howard - A witch from an outsider House enters New York’s magical Hunger Games, to prove a point. The problems of magic were not intended.

Zoo City by Lauren Beukes - Part-time con artist gets hired to find two missing pop stars, with the help of the magical sloth on her back. Noir ensues.

Child of a Hidden Sea by A.M. Dellamonica - Nature photographer lands on water-world, discovers lost family, tries to convince self magic is impossible.

Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips - Greek gods, washed up in North London, curse Apollo to fall for the cleaner. Existential crisis, meet rom-com.

Among Others by Jo Walton - Loner teen sent to boarding school, discovers science fiction, might know fairies and do magic.

Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton - Austenesque story except all the characters are dragons.

Every Heart a Doorway (and sequels) by Seanan McGuire - the children of portal fantasy end up in boarding school coping with being kicked out of their various worlds, then some of them start getting murdered. 

The Gracekeepers by Kirsty Logan - the world is flooded, there’s a lady who works with a bear at a circus that sails to different places to perform, and a lady who is sort of an undertaker, and they fall in love

Lud-in-the-Mist by Hope Mirrlees - there are fairies but no one talks about them anymore because That’s Just Not How We Are except this state of affairs cannot possibly last and people start getting lured to fairyland

The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison - fifth son of emperor who’s lived his whole life away from court abruptly becomes emperor when his father and older brothers are killed in an accident, spends entire book trying to make friends and figure how the fuck to do a) confidence and b) ruling ethically

The Various by Steven Augarde - girl spends summer at uncle’s farm, finds the group of “various” (no direct parallel, but think somewhere between gnomes and pixies) that live in the woods, mysterious history, flying horse, The Cat Is Evil (this is technically middle grade but it’s so good I can’t even)

Turning Darkness Into Light by Marie Brennan - working on the translation of an ancient text is complicated when it might have a huge impact on the public perception of a highly stigmatised group; subterfuge, found family, mythology, and the rejection of men who steal other people’s work. 

So You Want to Be a Wizard or Stealing the Elf-King’s Roses by Diane Duane.  

Tam Lin, Juniper Gentian and Rosemary, and The Secret Country by Pamela Dean (all different stories).  

The Spellkey by Ann Downer.  

Swordheart  or Summer in Orcus by T. Kingfisher.  

The Curse of Chalion or the Penric series by Lois McMaster Bujold.

Green Year Dragonfly by Kaye Bellot.  

If by “no war” you mean “no or not focused on violence”:

The Terrier/Bloodhound/Mastiff series by Tamora Pierce Teenage former street rat aspires to and joins law enforcement in pseudo-medieval fantasy land, proves to have moral code forged of adamantium and more determination than an entire battalion. Also talks to unquiet ghosts carried by pigeons.

the Winding Circle books by Tamora Pierce (with the exception of Battle Magic) Four teenagers are snatched from the jaws of peril, discover they have incredibly strong yet overlooked magical powers, slowly become a found family, survive an earthquake, pirates, forest fires, plague, and puberty.

The Keeper Chronicles, by Tanya Huff Magic user accidentally gets roped into running a boarding house in Toronto. The decor is from the 50s, the handyman is an incredibly handsome and pureminded myopic Newfoundlander, and there is a (literal) portal to Hell in the basement. The third book adds lesbians and a mall that eats street kids to the mix. (Enchantment Emporium and its sequels are in the same world btw)

——————————————————————

If by “no war” you legitimately just mean that war is not the driving plot force:

the Hawk and Fisher books by Simon R Green  Fairytale-destined prince and princess decide that destiny is bullshit, ditch their kindgoms, become the only honest pseudo-cops in fantasy-Gotham because strangely being a prince/princess doesn’t actually give you life skills that are not applicable to being a mercenary. Buildings eat people, gods are murdered, street drugs turn people into animals, Hawk and Fisher are so very tired.

Oath of Swords and its sequels, by David Weber

Guy from a species generally (unfairly) derided by “civilized people” as barbaric and evil thinks he’s going mad, but actually he’s been chosen as paladin by a god and he’s just stubbornly refusing to listen. Continues to go off and do heroic shit while doing the equivalent of jamming his fingers in his ears and saying “LA LA LA”. This does absolutely nothing to dissuade the god in question.

The Thief, by Megan Whalen Turner A thief’s prison sentence is cut short when he is sent on a mission to steal an important (and magical?) object for the King. BIG plot twist at the end. Imagine going on a fun road trip through the fantasy pseudo-Byzantine Empire, except that all your fellow travelers have their own secret agendas.

The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, by Catherine Webb  In this universe, there are a handful of time travelers –  people who are forced to live the same life over and over, retaining their memories with each rebirth.  As Harry nears the end of his eleventh life, a little girl appears at his bedside with the following message: the end of the world is getting faster.

Dark Lord of Derkholm, by Diana Wynne Jones The citizens of a fantasy world are getting really tired of being overrun by non-magical tourists from our world. This year, the role of Evil Wizard falls to Derk, who wants nothing more than to be left in peace on his farm/magical genetic engineering laboratory. Derk’s 2 human children, 5 griffin children, and 1 enchantress wife feel much the same. Wouldn’t it be a shame if someone were to sabotage this planet’s shitty contract once and for all? 

(For personal records)

The Athena Club series, by Theodora Goss Daughters and/or female creations of mad scientists from 19th-century literature team up to figure out what their “fathers” were up to and what, exactly, the secret society that seems to control all such experiments intends to do next. Sort of an all-female League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, in the best way. Kind of an odd frame narrative, but you get used to it pretty quickly.

The Ruby Red Trilogy by Kerstin Gier

Love, Time travel, secret societies, and a dark secret at the heart of a prophecy.

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

A hidden world of magic wielders in modern day Ireland, a skeleton detective and his associate solving crimes, a race of Gods trying to conquer the world, and a dark prophecy declaring the end of all things. This one does have battles in every book but it isn’t your classical war.

Chronicles of Ancient Darkness by Michelle Paver

Set in a time when the woods were still dark and dangerous (European Bronze Age, most likely Finland), a boy and his wolf friend have to survive beasts and other clans. Includes Demons, Soul Eaters, Spirit Walkers, and Changelings.

Just FYI:  those two Diane Duane titles from here are the “author’s preferred texts” which revise, expand and update any previous print editions. This applied most especially to the New Millennium Edition of “A Wizard Alone”, whose changes completely supersede the 2002 imprint.

A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K le Guin

A very personal journey of self-realisation, magic, dragons, and learning humility. The others in the series are also really good with different lead characters. Also great if you want a fantasy world that is not just fantasy!England.

Another Ursula to recommend: Ursula Vernon writing as T. Kingfisher : many of these books are set during times of political tension in fantasy lands but afaik none are set during actual wartime.

May I recommend A Wizard’s Guide to Defensive Baking for a sample of her style in the YA fantasy genre and Swordheart for a sample in a more adult style… I love her writing.

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

I wanted to put a more positive spin on the popular skeleton leaving meme

ID. a running skeleton with flames overlaid, with text in various wordart fonts that says:

you can just start!

you don't need permission to develop a new interest or skill!

if shit sucks, hit the books!

the time will pass anyway!

End ID.

??? Sad mommy?

Take your mother to an escape room you heartless monster!

“we live in an uncaring universe” yeah dude and I live in an uncaring house. and I shit in an uncaring toilet. but do you touch an uncaring lover? do you comfort an uncaring child? do you guide to sleep each night a cold and uncaring self?

Do you *really* want a caring universe? Really?

You want a vast expanse of billions upon billions of glowing hot stars, caustic gas giants, blistering cold comets, swirling gasses, and (lets not forget) enigmatic clumps that neither emit nor reflect light but are so massive they bend it like a lense - you want all of that to occasionally focus its attention on *you*?

Are you okay?

dinosaur sprinkles. look at this post with your eyes if you agree

Depression is such an effective tranquilizer that it creates a great opportunity for plot twists in your real life. I have a pretty consistent opinion of myself which is "low" and "never ending guilt and shame for reasons I don't understand."

Recently received feedback from two different editing clients that started with "Please pass along to Jacquelynn that she is phenomenal at her job" and "I was blown away by the evaluation I received."

You always hear about how depression (and anxiety) lies to you and distorts reality, but there is logically knowing that and then there is like, physical proof of it and you are suddenly Neo in the Matrix jumping out of the fucked up little tube machine.

Look, medication and therapy are essential, but I think we shouldn't underestimate this form of treatment

(Source)

[ID: A six-panel comic with simple line art. The first panel shows a person sitting a table with a large cube. Text above this person indicates that they are “fixing/doing thing”. A second person is watching them from behind with their hands on their hips and a slight smile on their face. In the second panel, the person watching says, “Hey kiddo you did a really Good Job!” The words “Good Job!” are in green, and the person working on the cube has become a doglike creature and looks excited. The third panel is a close-up of the doglike person. The green “Good Job!” is floating around their head in various iterations, including the words “Good” and “Job!” individually as well as lone exclamation points. The fourth panel shows the doglike person in their car. The various “Good Job” iterations are still following them. One of the words says, “Good?” and one says “Job!!” The fifth panel shows the figure in the shower wagging their tail. The words are still surrounding them. Some of them say “Good Job!” There are also other phrases, including “Wow!” “I did a [cut off but says Good Job]” “Good Me!” and “Good!!!” The final panel is sepia-toned and shows the figure lying in bed with the covers pulled up to their chest. Their eyes are sparkling, and the single phrase “Good Job!” is still floating above them. \End ID]

Id courtesy of @a-captions-blog

15 Proverbs for the Fellow Chronically Ill 

2. If spoons are in short supply, one must make do with knives.

3. May you have access to healthcare that is both affordable AND good quality.

4. When your doctor will not order a test you have a gut feeling you might need, request that they note their refusal in your chart.

5. May your online patient portals sync appropriately.

6. May your healthcare providers always take you seriously.

7. May the phlebotomist get a good vein on the first try.

8. In times of distress, permit yourself comfort whenever you can.

9. If you want it, may you find humor in anything you can.

10. May you find community when you least expect it. Even a Twitter hashtag or Facebook group can offer solace when medicine has none for us.

11. If another non-disabled person tells you to “just do yoga,” feel free to flip them off. Or let them know they owe you 20 bucks. Or both.

12. May your injections be swift, and may your tablets be easy to swallow.

13. May the unwanted side effects of your treatment be minimal or nonexistent.

14. A life from bed is still a life.

15. You are the expert on your own experience.

To the folk whose diagnoses came as a relief

To the folk whose illnesses didn’t improve

To the folk whose illnesses deteriorated

To the folk who no longer have hope for their health

I see you

This is really, really hard

The world is still a better place because you are here.

YES IM LOOKING AT

Y O U !! 👀👀👀

Minimal symptoms and minimal pain doesn't mean overwork yourself to make up "lost time".

i think that every child should have unrestricted access to thick blackberry brambles or some other delicious fruit that grows encased in a painful fortress. i think wading through thorns to reach the cluster of shining ripe berries you spied through a gap between the tangled vines teaches you something important. not sure what though

i just know no fruit has ever tasted as sweet as the ones i ate while bleeding under the blistering summer sun

@crunch-barr do u know what ur tags r doing to me rn. this is the epitome of love

Welcome to the future, where you don’t own anything and the stuff you rent stops working once your phone has no signal.

App powered car? 🤦‍♀️

I wish people remembered the age old wisdom that if something doesn’t absolutely require an Internet connection to function, it shouldn’t be connected to the internet - same goes for apps.

WHY IS A CATFOOD DISPENSER CONNECTED TO THE INTERNET

Sometimes I’m glad that I’m too poor for my “cool future stuff” monkey brain to be set loose to buy stupid shit like this.

please please please do not buy into the Internet of Things. Digital displays for appliances are one thing, but you shouldn’t need the fucking internet to do your laundry or use the fridge.

*opens the groupchat at breakfast to backread like its the morning paper*

NEWS FROM BULLSHIT CITY:

Your Friends had a Weird Discussion About Marbles