ergonomic

From The New Anecdota Americana, 1944

diversity win! this farmer is poly

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

"how can you remember that" I remember Everything. unless I forget

some salads are amazing and then other salads feel like you're stuck in purgatory just eating leaves forever

1000% this, people need to stop calling their impulses and random thoughts "intrusive thoughts", they have no fucking clue how debilitating it is to have ocd

I hate that so many people aren’t aware of this. Like having intrusive thoughts is a sign that your subconscious really DOESNT want you to do the thing. That’s why the thoughts are so upsetting. You’re not a bad person omg

The Paul siblings 😍😍😍

Every day I am tormented by the fact that I am the mind behind Roop Paul and that people who weren’t friends with me or following me back then almost NEVER believe me. I made this meme in picsart when I was like 14 years old and now at 20 I see it all the fucking time and friends always send it to me on Instagram when a popular meme page reposts it like “didn’t u make this in 8th grade djjsjfjskcjKfn” and almost every time I see a meme involving rupaul the comments are full of Roop jokes . And there’s this one meme page I follow that’s like pretty small but the username is “motherroop” and their followers call them Roop . And like I’m just constantly reminded of my own greatness and the fact that I will never be granted recognition for my extremely powerful and absolutely fucking fascinating mind 💔

I understand. my sister’s best friend made the “imagine troy bolton” meme when he was in sixth grade. It’s a hard legacy to carry

THIS ONE????

there's just something inherently holy about a girl vibing alone in her room

via Vincent Giarrano on instagram

https://instagram.com/vgiarrano?utm_medium=copy_link

this is what true peace looks like

Cosy snek

(via)

wish i had a bit going where whenever i said "the prophecy" like three of my friends would repeat "the prophecy" in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player

okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world

be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it. 

okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right

first: 

the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!! 

how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp

“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!” 

“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.” 

i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits 

second: 

my friend group echoes. a lot

someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!” 

often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental” 

ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding 

i am not going to be thwarted again 

my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me 

“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!” 

“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult 

and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides” 

two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say 

and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around

which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards 

shoutout to genuinely nice people, keep doing what you’re doing, the world needs you

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”

A little doodle for one the most beautiful lines from any poem, The Old Astronomer.

This is not a little doodle. This. THIS. This is fucking MAGIC. You have captured pure wonder and whimsy and romance and bliss and that almost melancholy wholeness when you look up at the sky and just feel the smallness of your being and the grandness of the universe. All this captured with a lover’s eye. We cannot see her face but I feel the tender passionate ardour for this petite but mighty creature in the world. While at the same time I feel the bittersweet swoon of wanting to be gazed upon myself with such whole and overwhemling admiration and love. It is goddamn masterful.

I am fucking following your tumblr charliebowater you are amazing.

THAT’S THE NICEST COMMENT I’VE EVER READ.

(source)

my little kitty cat has started taking an inhaler

my guinea pig needed ointment a while back

DEPLOY THE BOY

ALL BOYS DEPLOYED

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything

[image ID: A tumblr tag that reads

i had a dream last night where dwayne the rock johnson got an abortion

/end ID]

When we’re new to adulthood, it doesn’t immediately occur to all of us that you’re almost always allowed to leave a situation, because growing up we’re forced to stay in situations until someone dismisses us and/or takes us home, or if we do leave on our own accord there’s someone waiting at home to say “we don’t quit in this family!” Boring party? You can leave. You don’t like the lecture? You can walk out. New doctor not working out? You can end the appointment, you don’t need to wait for them to dismiss you. Bad date? You can just go home. Leaving a situation prematurely might have consequences, but unless you’re under arrest or serving prison time, it’s pretty much always allowed.

–commenter Allison @ askamanager

A while back, I called for a Lyft ride home from the airport. The lyft pulled up, he called my name, and I opened the door and climbed in. While I was climbing in he was getting out, which I didn’t realize until he opened the back door on the other side.

Him: I’ll put your bag in the trunk. Me: Oh, there’s no need.  Him: I’ll just put it back there.  Me: I prefer to keep my bag with me.

I was also still holding onto it so he couldn’t just grab it, and when I said “I prefer to keep it with me” this cloud of rage crossed his face.

Him: Then get out.  Me: Excuse me? Him: Get out, I don’t want your bag fucking up my upholstery.

Now, this was a weekender – essentially an upscale duffle bag. Small, almost brand new, easily fitting on the middle-seat beside me. I don’t know if he was just really intense about his upholstery or if he was running some kind of scam, but either way I now DEFINITELY was not going to let him separate me from my bag.

So I said “Okay,” and I picked up my bag and got out, took out my phone, and cancelled him as my driver.

He looked at me like I’d grown a second head. There was this moment of total disconnect in his face, and then he started ranting about how someone had damaged his upholstery and they needed to put their bags in the back and he wasn’t going to have me getting his upholstery dirty. 

I said, “I’m out of your car. Drive on, I’ll get another,” and held up my phone.

This had clearly never happened before – it looked like plenty of people had thought “This guy is crazy” but went the “so I’d better let him do what he wants” route instead of “so I’m getting out of his car”. Which is totally normal! We’re socialized to prioritize “not making a scene” over personal safety. But when you do call that bluff, when you defy the social convention that the other person is counting on to make you do what they want you to do, they don’t know how to react, which gives you time for a clean getaway. And maybe he thought I was a dickhead but what do I care what an asshole thinks of me? 

Anyway the moral of the story is yes, you should know that you can almost always leave a situation and often it’s in your best interest to do so. 

(Right after I called for another car he picked up a fare using Quick Match or whatever it’s called, peeled out of the Lyft lane, and hit another car well nigh immediately.)

[ID: The Benefits of walking away. (Illustration of the back of a person walking away. ) 1. Makes bad things disappear quickly. 2. Gives everyone optimal view of your back. 3. Answers question, “I wonder what would happen if I just walked away”]

can you come collect your freak of a man please. He’s doing things

everyone else out. No one else tag this post. this is the only one.

Video Game Idea.

A game that is marketed as your standard fishing game and for the first 20 minutes or so you catch normal fish like bluegill and bass and what have you. But the further you go into the lake you start to catch fish with mutations and it gets more and more intense until you’re pulling in Eldritch horror monsters and sometimes severed human limbs. You realize you don’t recall how you got to this lake in the first place and the objective becomes to find your way back to shore. You have no real weapons but you can throw the creatures you’ve caught far away from the boat as a means to distract whatever is underneath you, bumping into the boat sometimes. Additional items for the game.

And that’s my game idea.

More details.

Possible end game situations.

I can’t think of anymore endings right now, I may have ruined the game with these new details so feel free to just enjoy the first part.

Terrible concept art. Mini game idea. Compete with members of your party to catch the most fucked up fish. Points awarded based on how many extra body parts it has and if it communicates telepathically with you.

Added my No-Romo posts to this because I feel they are the most important additions. (I am not a writer or game designer or really capable of making anything so this idea is just wishful thinking at best.)

Concept art if it was a more stylized, cute game. You would be able to customize your character and your boat. Sorry this became so big I’m tagging it with it’s working title “Lure” for now. I legit expect nothing at all to come from this, I just like to design and concept out things a bit.

damn, they did it???

THEY DID IT!!!

holy shit! i saw the OP of this, like, years ago, i never thought i’d see it as an actual game