A Flower and a Bee

It's not about stars and galaxies. Point it out as a pollen and a starving bee. Different voices, different noises, as i stare i watch my flower burn. I was the bee who glanced at a single flower, i never broke my view to watch anybody else. I wasn't different from what i was. I still grasp to wait for my bravery. As this flower was fresh, i keep watching so nobody else would. I never had the right to protect you, but i will as you deserve. When i had the chance, i moved closer to you. But the north wind never gave me the path. as i move closer, it blows me away. you were blooming everyday, and everytime of that moment was my opportunity. I always had it, but my luck ran out. The flower was burning, it was caught on fire when the sun was too hot. I'd burn if i come closer, so i decided to leave my shot. I was trying but my wings were burning when i came. I didn't notice anything until i felt myself, catching my breathe, crawling to you. So i did turn the other way to save myself, but it did not feel right. I cannot do anything but to watch the flower burn. Unfortunate, undone, an imbecile bee.

A Compass with a Single Direction

Though i know a compass should have four major orientations; north, east, west and south, my compass only points in one way. I have explored several, majestic places. But there is one that will never sate my being. A destination that paralyzes my soul but molds my joy. It syncs my mind to an unimaginable, habit-forming commodity. It is like a drug in which i can never get enough of, it invites my veins to engage in it endlessly, it crystalyzes my blood and gashes everything inside my body, and it kills my reality slowly. Though i know, i should be going somewhere else, i want to be beside you, i want to be in your thoughts, i want to be the aid in your nightmare, i want to cast the rainbow in every storm you come up against, i hate to unthink what i thought and will think about you, i should go not in one direction and i should look away and forget about you, but i can't stand what should be done and i can't distinguish what i want from what i need to be. Though i know, i should turn around, leave and have the place abandoned, i forget that my compass has only one direction.

IYHTCTGMACA

If you had the chance to give me a chance again, would you allow yourself? I convey my oath by boundless means; I promise to be better. Beyond the wrath of gods, i'll go. I'll take my stance uneager to back down. I'll allow excruciating myself, if we'd be better. I am sure i'll find you doubting my strength, because of what I have done. I know you were searching for my act, since i have never done it superiorly, hence, your trust ran out. I had so many opportunities back then, but i missed every shot. Would you let me guide my way to you for the second time around? Would you be willing to accept the fact that I couldn't let myself able to forget you? When you had made up your mind to break through mine, i degraded my nature, threw away my optimistic expectations, and set my narrow limits. But if you'll have the chance to give me a chance again, i'll turn it all upside down.

--- Vague Thoughts

Your name is glued in my thoughts. I see perfection with your flaws. Picturing you in my canvas, everytime i do, i fall into your magic, which you did not even cast. I shatter everytime i imagine you smile. Your presence in my mind, diminishes my wisdom, and i travel for an infinite mile. You do not fail to give me joy yet not doing a thing. Immediately i thaw frantically, picturing you with someone else, i bathe with such catastrophe. I always fail to make you feel my touch, and i perceive your call of presence from me and i do not pursue, discerning i lack view of courage, which i should overcome and yet, i chain myself but also want to be impeded. I cannot know if i am letting you go. My foot is clawed, running itself towards you, ignoring the grief it’s been through. I do not plan to kill my hold, yet i want to have my pain nulled. May i bid farewell, but may i also stay for an eternal while.

Gotta help myself.