smile

you’ll get through this

a great adventure awaits

and greater memories to make

Remaining happy is everything until it costs you your peace

Remember this day. Remember how you felt. And learn to love those around you before the Forever gets to love them for the rest of time.

Years are not kind

They do not heal friendships

They do not build relationships

It is the great taker of youth

i wanted his love but not just his love

i wanted his texts and his selfies and his smiles and his stories

i wanted his attention and his hopes and his dreams and his wishes

i wanted his anger and his laughs and his tears and his kisses

i wanted to ask him everything and nothing

i wanted to watch his hair turn gray and his hands turn old

i wanted it all but my all was one-sided

because sometimes wanting is not enough

sometimes, you do all you can do but without reciprocation, it will never matter

because it takes 2, not 1, to write this story

to change in a way of frightening destinies

paving paths with unknown endings

attuning the rhythm of misfortune and pain

it’s the scariest goddamn thing in the world

That picture serves as a reminder and a memory

To never get my hopes up on silly fantasies

july 24th, 2023 @ 9:17

I’m just a poor, poor boy

Who grew up way too fast

I hope you’re happy

we romanticize things that don’t last

and people we don’t know

and cherish old memories

while wasting away the present

in bitter regret

I feel like I know you

Though lifetimes ago

Or lifetimes ahead

memories waiting to be made

in an old house where laughs were shared

and tears were shed and life was lived

an old house waiting to be someone’s new

now in the hands of the youth

passed down from those from days gone by

Dewy mornings and melodic sunrises

The haze of spring in the air

Mist lingering, caressing your skin

From night’s sweet, cold kiss

Rows of blossoming colors delight

Showers of rain can thrill

Rainbows and skies will collide

While nature’s songs echo still

Fresh brewed coffee will tickle your nose

The dance of birds will chime

Soon, the bustle of day will begin

Dwindling away your time

Someone else deserves your love

In all the ways it comes

Through storms and sunshine

Long days and short nights

And all the in-betweens

You deserve someone special

With warm smiles and sweet kisses

And uplifting spirits

Someone to ride the pain

To be with you through thick and thin

To speak forever the sacred oath

Of the promise of tomorrow, thereafter

Here’s something to ponder

To set your sights on, to remember

Let’s slow things down a bit

And travel to years past

When age was an enigma

And stories were spoken

When those young and old

Cheered in groups, sang with glory

Back before the blue light

And its taint on our vision

When colors came to life

And sound was local

Food was shared

Drinks were tasted

Love was felt

And time… didn’t matter

No worries to be made

No screens to be checked

No pride to be tested

No fellowship to be commanded

There was laughter, lots of laughter

And jokes were not assaulted

Back before the world lost its community

And most of all…

its patience

sunshine and sunflowers

rainstorms and rainbows

brambles and branches…

There’s beauty in the way

some things are the same

like leaves falling in the fall

and you leaving me that day

That longing in my chest

Full of sweet devastation

Mourns the years and the moments

Of time well spent

Those tears on my cheeks

Swollen with savory contemplation

Bids a lifetime of memories

Into a fleeting goodbye

It’s the greatest heartbreak I’ll ever know

My feelings hold weight, and today they anchor me

Excitement only comes in waves, spreading farther and farther apart

Becoming its own mystery, begging to be found

Alone, I drift, across the vast, unknowing sea

Spending my time willing a thrill to save me

But those thrills are limited, like most things, most beings diseased with time

So I search for this occurrence of bliss, begging its return

But I start to sink, to fall, down the frightening abyss

The problem is the ocean: of its currents, its paths and influences

Stifling my solution, breaking me apart, making it harder to go beyond the blocks and barricades

So I acquiesce this decision to never find happiness, to never sail toward that elusive excitement

Forever evading, becoming its own enigma

Life is like walking a trail

You dodge holes and scale inclines

The ground pushes against your feet, aching and vulnerable to its vicious path

But it is also the stability you need to go on

There’s beauty in the way the breeze ruffles the blades of grass, the branches of trees

The rocks are different shapes, different textures, different sizes

The birds chirp melodies; the bugs whine lullabies

The flowers can be sweet and pleasant

The thorns can be mean and violent

Like life, you must push onward, forward

Into the great, beautiful unknown

dancing, feeling

music in our ears

lights flashing, stinging

bass on are feet

the floors full of people

the music loud, the pastels bright

oh to be happy in a spring time wedding