music for autistic 12 year olds to feel evil to
I hate this as an ex autistic 12 year old.
This is true though.
they took your autism??!?!!
Can't have shit in Detroit

music for autistic 12 year olds to feel evil to
I hate this as an ex autistic 12 year old.
This is true though.
they took your autism??!?!!
Can't have shit in Detroit
'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so
also the exploding appendix
there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.
Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.
Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.
And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.
“and the fans are throwing celebratory rats on the ice” god I love hockey
the beautiful game!!!!!!
The minor league team in Shreveport, it’s crawdads.
The devil walks into your work on a Thursday.
“Hi,” you say, “welcome to McDonalds.”
The devil clops up to the register, red eyes sliding from the cartoonish picture of Grimace, to the Coca Cola drying in the grout, to the ketchup stain on your pale blue button down.
“What can I get started for you today,” you prod when he continues to stare.
“Uh,” he says. “I came for your soul?”
Your smile slips for a moment before you can pin it back in place. Thank goodness your manager is on their lunch. “We don’t sell that, I’m sorry. Have you tried a Big Mac?”
“I know McDonald’s doesn’t sell souls,” the devil says. “Your parents sold your soul. Before you were born.”
“Oh,” you say. That would explain…a lot, actually. “Well. I’m at work, so…can you collect later?”
“I’m owed your soul on your 18th birthday,” he says.
“It’s my birthday today?” You glance at the register. “Wow. I forgot.”
“That is so fucking sad,” the devil says. He punched the bridge if his nose. “When is your shift over?”
“3am.”
“Jesus,” the devil says. He turns on his hoof. “I’m going to go buy you a cake or something.”
“Wow,” you say. You press a hand over your heart. “That—that actually would make my week.”
“And that’s sad,” the devil calls over his shoulder. “See you at 3!”
Now you have a reason to look forward to getting off work.
2:30 am rolled in at such a snails pace, but you kept that plastered mask on the whole night.
You had to deal with a rainbow of people all day. From rich kids looking down on you to that poor homeless guy that comes by asking for your stale fries.
Your boss had watched over you and your coworkers and have scolded you a few dozen times for not upselling, or even appeasing the Karen at max volume.
But now you were doing the one thing no one in a McDonald's would dare do. You cleaned the mc flurry machine. A rare sight to see and probably the only working one in town.
You hear the chime, the chime of dread, your stomach drops, and you fix that mask turning to face the next customer.
Only to internally sigh in relief. Oh good, its just the Devil.
He walks in with what appears to be a medium sized box. He still looked as disgruntled as before. Maybe even more so as he looks around the dingy Mc Donald's.
"Welcome back! You're early!"
"Is... that.. a working mc flurry mechine?" He answers instead looking over you. You nod with perhaps a hint of pride.
"Yes Sir! Just cleaned it. Would you like one?" You can see him staring into your soul. Which, you suppose is his soul now.
"No. Just.. be done already."
You nod to him watching him clop over to a table setting the box down. Huh... your soul is now his? You didn't have time to think about that.
Your manager pops their head out from the back. "Hey. Josh said he's gonna be late. Need you to...." you glance over to see your manager staring at the gargantuan devil sitting there. He looks back causing your manager to freeze in horror. You never seen them so pale.
"Your employee quits as of this moment. Figure out your own issues. Leave." He said with menacing eyes that flash. Your manager turns around and books it to the back, possibly to pray for forgiveness.
You take that as your cue to clock out. You offer a goodbye to your boss but they won't have any of it.
The devil watches you slip from out behind the counter now with even more distain. Your pants look... questionable.
"How often do you even do laundry?"
"If I can have a day off that doesn't involve driving my younger siblings to and from their music classes and tutors."
The devil stares in disgust now understanding what your parents did.
They sold their first born and invested in the younger siblings.
And they say the devil is the worst..
"Just... damnit just sit down."
You do as he sets out two golden plates opening up the box to reveal a professionally made cake with a black marble icing and gold flakes. Set on top are black candles that's wax looks to shimmer like a dark rainbow. The flames flicker and crackle shifting from one color to another. Its beautiful.
You don't know what you were expecting. You almost expected a cheap sheet cake from the store down the street.
"... happy birthday... make a wish I guess... blow out your candle..."
You smile, you make the same wish you made every year. "I wish for a pet." You don't say it out loud. It was out of habit even though you know it won't come true. Least you now understand why.
You blow out the candle and it gives off a sigh like a ghost had escaped your lips.
You watch this soft glowing whisp floats around you while the devil cuts you a piece of cake. You only look back when you hear your fork be set next to your plate.
"Thank you.. its a lovely cake."
He brushes it off. "Just.. eat."
You enjoy your cake as he watches. After a moment he speaks.
"Your parents sold your soul to me."
"Mmhmm.."
"Meaning you belong to me."
"Mmm"
"In hell."
When you clear your mouth you reply. "So, what will I be? Burning punished for all eternity? Slave labor? Dealing with karens?"
He stares at you not sure if he should feel impressed or bothered by the fact you just don't seem that fazed.
"Souls sold to me become whatever I feel like them being. You..." he stares at you as you enjoy more of your cake.
"Your not even fazed by the fact your going to hell."
You shake your head. Simply enjoying the sinfully delicious cake.
"You could be tasked with cleaning up hell hound shit."
"Oh! This mean I can see hells good bois??"
"...... you could be handing out toys for orgys...?"
"Sounds like they be having fun."
"Cleaning up torture chambers?"
"Have you seen the bathrooms?"
The devil takes a breath to compose himself. Mortals these days... whats the point of hell when theres a worse one on earth?
When your full he closes the box, the plate and fork vanish.
"Come with me"
You oblige following him out of the McDonald's.
He doesn't even bother asking about if you have a car. He already knew that answer.
"Your going to be one of my messengers to the other realms."
You blink looking up at him.
"Really? Nothing nasty like the ones you mentioned?"
"Look kid, if you can keep a straight face serving me, practically live like your in hell, and still be the only few willing to keep a mc flurry working.. I'd rather you go deliver things to and from hell to like... I dont know anubis or Hades."
You follow along your little whisp still dancing around you.
"Okay... one more question..."
He sighs "what?"
"Can I pet a hell hound?"
"....... yes.... yes you can pet a hell hound."
Do you have any references for centaur foals? It's really hard to find any references that's not adults
Yea! Enjoy a dump of all my centaur babies! They're mostly a bit older drawings but I think they still hold up haha and I don't think many people draw them cause they can be a little funky- what with the chunky little bodies on big ol spidery legs 😅 But I still think they're cute 💜
And a lot of my drawings of the bitties are in slings, as that's how I built in infant care with an L-shaped infant 😂
and of course, some goofy little baby Sunny doodles <3
@ every parent in the world: yes your kid is special because every child is special but they are not specialer than every other child so please be normal about them
Some parents have done what I can only describe as fandomize their child where they’ve taken the child and altered it in their mind to make a cooler version that fits their specific interests, and now sometimes I have to remind them of the canon material.
For those of you who don’t know, I’m a youth theater director and teacher. Every audition season is a personal ordeal.
Target audience reached
EXACTLY
i remember when we were in typography II and also editorial design I we got shown the fucking text hierarchy image
and I'm seeing more and more people not grasping this concept when editing so i thought that if for some reason you haven't seen this image i probably shouldn't gatekeep it. Text hierarchy is literally essential knowledge to make yourself understood. Try to have an order in your text, investigate, test things, show your edits to people and ask "hey what order are you reading this on?" because the golden rule is that your design should be easy to interpret most of the time.
The last character you drew/wrote about is now stuck in the last game you played. How screwed are they?
I drew a friend of mine dressed as Temenos from Octopath 2 for her birthday. The last game I played myself I think was Mario 3D World. Somehow, I think Queen is going to be fine. XD
What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?
Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”
Umm….
ARE YOU KIDDING ME
this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate
this one
was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????
Another one from 2017 by @nullsynth
the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
turns out we had the 2020 vision after all
“the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls” is actually a really fucking metal quote and i will be using it in the future
@handoverthehands it’s from Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. Referenced as well in Spirit of the Radio by Rush and again in Disturbed’s cover of the original.
And that in itself was a reference to the Book of Daniel from the bible, when the words of the prophet were written on the Babylonian palace walls.
In the real world, it’s not the kings and people in power who see the signs of doom, but the poor people in the subway, helpless to stop it.
what happened on this post
Nothing. This is normal for tumblr
A reminder that this is what censorship leads to and that it wasn’t all that long ago when purity culture was going after ships that antis would consider to be “normal” today.
Also I thought Fiction Alley was that one archive that Msscribe got shut down with her shitstirring
This is what people tend not to realize when they complain about the Ao3 not havng all the bells and whistles, not offering a way for fic writers to make money, hosting content they don’t like,etc….AO3 just isn’t those things. Their whole existence and purpose is like a preservation site or a museum. Nothing stops you from hosting your content elsewhere and even if you never donate AO3 will be a place where your work will be preserved and protected that is it’s function and it’s a necessary function.
By all means host your work somewhere fancier where you can make money but try and value AO3 for what it is, a place where anyone fan fic writer –for better or for worse– can host there content and you will never be asked to remove your content for censorship reasons no matter what trend is currently rampaging through fandom.
As an aside, AO3 legally cannot offer a way to make money, because they are a non-profit organization. This is part of the reason why they’ve been largely left alone (and also the lawyers they have on retainer to fight those Fair Use issues like the one in the Twitter post) and why they will suspend accounts for mentioning commissions period. AO3 can get in legal trou le if they were allowing people to market themselves.
I can’t stress enough how you should not ever, ever mention, hint at or otherwise infer that a fic was commissioned on AO3. I’ve seen accounts get warnings even without a direct Patreon link.
Even if I felt comfortable with the idea of making money off fanwriting (which I don’t because I Was There, Gandalf and it’s still blowing my mind to have this flexibility) I would still rather have AO3 be my main hosting site than to support Wattpad and their lack of fucks to give about the rampant plagiarism.
Fascinating, and important to know.
There are three pages of tags mentioning commissions if you search “commission” on AO3′s tag search. This is, bluntly, not good. If you have tagged it, delete the tag, delete anything in the fanwork notes that mention commissions, and never do it again. It is flatly against AO3′s Terms of Service because of all of the above.
Nothing wrong with doing fic comms, but they are NOT LEGAL, and you need to keep them on the DOWN LOW. DO NOT even breath a word about them on your AO3 unless you want your account nuked
Frankly, it’s probably wise to just. Never admit to doing commissions, ever.
Instead of “this fic was commissioned by Username,” say “this fic was requested by Username.” People give out fic prompts all the time; people request fics; gift fics:; etc. If you commission fics (which, oh my god, I personally would never) then for the love of God don’t admit to it. Don’t promote it. And certainly don’t ever even allude to it on AO3.
[ID: A tweet dated 07/02/2019, 17:25, by twitter user your new old fashioned dad (@drankturpentine). It reads: me after killing a werewolf: more like werewolf {but this time i pronounce it were, like the second person singular past, plural past, and past subjunctive of be} /end ID]
what if the teenage mutant ninja turtles exist in the mcu but they’re just really good at staying under the radar and criminals are too embarrassed to admit they got beat up by some guys in “turtle costumes” so they blame daredevil. peter parker worked as a pizza delivery boy for a while and brought like eight pizzas to a man hole cover but thought nothing of it bc nyc
peter parker: i once was one minute late delivering pizza and the dude was like “forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza”
clint barton: oh cool u met one of the tmnt
literally everyone: who
clint: am i the only one in this goddamn city who knows about the crimefighting turtles that live in the sewers
(they all think clint is playing an elaborate prank on them, especially when he shows them a photo of four guys wearing what are ‘very obviously halloween costumes’)
fun fact: it’s TMNT canon that the chemical container that hit Matt Murdock across the face and gave him his Daredevil abilities is the same canister that landed on the baby turtles and mutated them, so…..y’all aren’t far off
i’m sorry it’s WHAT
TMNT started as a Daredevil parody.
Matt’s teacher is Stick. The turtle’s is Splinter.
Matt’s enemy is the Hand. The turtle’s is the Foot Clan.
It was originally a dark, edgy, turtle themed parody of Daredevil.
I… I don’t know how to feel about this information.