due to many foreseen circumstances i will go insane
Anonymous asked:
hi! I've just casually seen a post of yours in my dash for the first time in years, i hope life is good 💞💞
omg :'))) i'm doing great, i hope you are too!!! and i appreciate u poppin in to say hi :'))
[image description: an excerpt of text that says:
“It’s funny,” I told Flewin. “We have an old Nintendo Game Boy floating around the house, and Tetris is the only game we own. My wife will sometimes dig it out to play on airplanes and long car rides. She’s weirdly good at it. She can get 500 or 600 lines, no problem.”
What Flewin said next I will never forget.
“Oh, my!”
/end id]
TL;DR on the article
The husband was writing an article on classic video game records, was surprised to find out that holding the Tetris record is a bit of a big deal, and mentions how good his wife is at it.
The guy he’s talking to mentions that the record is 327, way lower than his wifes usual scores of 500-600.
They travel to a tournament, and she goes to do her attempt. Just after she beats 327, and is climbing higher, a judge brings up to the husband that the specific version she’s playing actually has a different record of 545.
She overhears that she needs to beat 500-something, and keeps going, setting the record at 841.
as is traditional
This is how I found out. God Bless America. Love Wins.
Keith from my sketchbook
Yes, I’m feeding y’all voltron content in 2023 bcuz I can
Created for Leslie Feinberg’s Transgender Warriors, featuring characters from Dykes To Watch Out For
Alison Bechdel © 1996
some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort
- Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”
- Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.
- I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!
- Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.
- This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.
- One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”
- An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
- I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”
- When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”
amphitryo
- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”
- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”
- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”
- “I used to think I could control ducks with my mind. But it turns out ducks and I just have really similar ideas about what ducks should do.”
- “I used to do a lot of drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who would be really mad if she heard me say that.”
- “I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna stick pins in all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners so it doesn’t fall down.”
Mitch Hedberg was one of the funniest dudes alive.
Anonymous asked:
i saw in your authors note you developed tinnitus :( im sorry to hear that but i hope i can help. look up the two hand hack where you snap your fingers against the base of your skull. it helps me sometimes but mostly what helps is distracting myself DEEPLY (its not easy). best of luck ❤️❤️
thank you for the well wishes my dude!!! i've heard of that trick and i do it probably a couple times a week, but it only alleviates the ringing for a few seconds for me :')))) distraction is what works best for me too! but it's hard bc i can't spend all the time distracted/watching tv/Heavily Immersed in something adkfja
someone else left a comment suggesting brown noise which i now like!!! it definitely makes my tinnitus less noticeable and if i'm doing something where i otherwise wouldn't have background noise, i've found that it helps!
I really love all of your spideypool fics!! I reread them all the time <33 They're a real comfort to me, so thank you endlessly for sharing them !!
EEEE thank you so much my dude!!!! that makes my heart happy :')))
Red~ hey, glad you exist, still think about your fics 🧡
WOW! it's been a while my dude!!!! i'm touched u still think about my fics :") and i'm glad YOU exist <333