“Trying to play hide and seek with my dog, but she gets just TOO EXCITED when I spot her lol”
Source: babyanimalgifs
disabled-ratman
A clinician I saw recently said something that really struck a chord with me, and I feel like a lot of other disabled people could do with hearing it.
When he asked me what I did with my days at the moment, I explained the current situation (which is that I’m unemployed, out of education, and mostly housebound), and told him that I really wasn’t busy at all. I tried to play it off as a joke, like I always do, but he seemed to take it seriously.
He said: “It sounds to me like you’re very busy, you’re just busy taking care of things that most people don’t have to worry about.”
And that’s true. I don’t really get to think about it like that, because I’ve been told over and over again by people in my life that I just need to “try harder, do more, be busy” until everything just sort of… works itself out. But I am busy - I have to keep myself distracted to deal with psychotic symptoms that I currently don’t have any medication for, I have to spend a lot of time resting so I’m not in as much pain and have the energy to do what I need to do, it takes me significantly longer (and more effort) to do basic self-care tasks and chores… The list goes on.
So if anyone’s out there in a similar situation to me, feeling like you’re not really doing anything, remember that you are, it’s just not what abled people would consider “activity”. And I understand that it’s boring and isolating and downright miserable a lot of the time, and no one should have to put up with this permanently, but stick with it, and know that you’re busy, and you’re doing good.
Wonderful. Was trying to explain this the other day.
It’s a trigger, a pain. It’s been nearly fifteen years, I can’t quite believe this is still a problem. I don’t feel like I can tell anyone. I’ve gone on about this for so many years. I’m about to make a big positive life change, and I don’t want anyone to worry that I’m not up to it.
I can finally share my piece for Cause and Effect Magazine on what it’s like to live with #mecfs. Issue 2 (with my piece) now available.
So good!
A Chronic Illness APP or WEBSITE? Developing something but curious which you’d prefer? 😊
A happy place, though maybe a more comfortable chair.
I feel like something people don’t acknowledge enough is how much chronic fatigue hurts. Like feeling so tired that you wish you’d just collapse already, just so you can rest. Praying you’ll collapse. So tired that you want to cry, because you feel desperate to feel anything else. So tired it feels like your bones are scraping against each other and every step you take is agony. Every moment you’re awake is torture, absolute torture. You’d give anything to not feel this, anything, anything. It’s not just tiredness, it’s not sleepiness, it’s excruciatingly painful. And it’s so, so hard to live with.
