shitpost/meme lord

@jiggly-bean-blog

we. were. born. to. make. history.

Friendly reminder this show was filmed in front of a live studio audience in one take.

And that all sitcom laugh tracks are taken from this show because the laughter was so sincere.

friendly reminder that this show was fuckin awesome

And most of the people who were recorded laughing are dead now. When you hear people laughing in sitcoms today, it’s the recorded laughter of dead people.

Well that escalated quickly

imagine how cool it would be if your legacy was the sound of your laughter. your happiness.

Source: michaelpalin
Hamilton: i'll overwhelm them with honesty!
[later]
Hamilton: i had an affair
Everyone: oh, wow I-
Hamilton: she slept in my bed while my wife was gone
Everyone: jesus, ha-
Hamilton: but she didn't sleep, if ya know what i mean ;)
Everyone: seriously dude-
Hamilton: nothing new though, i used to do it with Laurens too
Everyone: Oh My goD HAM-
Hamilton: He was rougher, more kinky
Everyone: FUCKING STOP CHRIST OH MY-

There’s an old legend that a birthmark or defect indicates the spot where you received a fatal wound in your past life. In some cultures, people mark their dead with soot or paste so they can recognize them when they are reborn, which has inspired several researchers to spend their lives documenting hundreds of case studies that allegedly reflect this belief. Source Source 2 Source 3

Put how you died in the tags 

Oversharing Asks

(Disclaimer: These questions are very personal and may touch on sensitive subjects; you may want to look over them before reblogging. You can strike out or totally delete questions you don’t want to deal with.)

  1. Who hurt you the most?
  2. Who have you hurt the most?
  3. Who do you miss the most?
  4. Who do you want out of your life the most?
  5. Who had the biggest positive impact on you?
  6. Who had the biggest negative impact on you?
  7. Who do you wish you could be honest with?
  8. Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?
  9. Who would the world be better off without?
  10. Who do you wish you’d treated differently?
  11. What was the worst day of your life?
  12. What’s your greatest fear?
  13. What’s your biggest insecurity?
  14. What’s your biggest regret?
  15. Describe your ideal world.
  16. Describe your personal hell.
  17. What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?
  18. What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?
  19. What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?
  20. What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?
  21. What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?
  22. What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?
  23. What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?
  24. What’s the bravest you’ve ever felt?
  25. What’s the best case scenario for your future?
  26. What’s the worst case scenario for you future?
  27. What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?
  28. What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?
  29. Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.
  30. Describe a time you felt like a traitor.
  31. Describe a time you felt like a hero.
  32. Describe a time you felt inhuman.
  33. Describe a time you felt like a failure.
  34. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
  35. What are you proudest of?
  36. What’s your relationship with your family like?
  37. What’s your relationship with religion like?
  38. Talk about someone you’ve lost.
  39. Talk about someone who abandoned you.
  40. Talk about a desire you have that scares you.
  41. What’s something you wish you were capable of?
  42. What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?
  43. Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.
  44. Describe your worst heartbreak.
  45. Describe your worst disappointment.
  46. Have you ever taken a fall for someone?
  47. Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?
  48. Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?
  49. Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?
  50. Have you ever self-harmed?
  51. Have you ever attempted suicide?
  52. Have you ever stolen something?
  53. Have you ever cheated on someone?
  54. Have you ever been cheated on?
  55. Have you ever taken revenge on someone?
  56. Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?
  57. Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?
  58. Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

okay, so i saw this in other fandoms and i thought it was nice

add your own lance!

(this one’s by @partlycloudii)

there he is!!!

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BOOP! Can I join?

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BEST BOY TRAIN

I GOT YOU BOB

*nyooms away*

Love this ! I had to add my own ! 

Keith now?

have it circulated into each paladin maybe?

a wild Keith appears

A Keith was added and I couldn’t resist.

I recently found my “gold” hammer after misplacing it. It’s my favorite tool ever because it looks like a regular hammer trying to be fancy,

but then you twist both halves and unscrew it to find a flat-head screwdriver in the middle.

BUT, if you twist the very end and unscrew that

you find a phillips screwdriver.

BUT DON’T THINK THAT’S ALL THERE IS! THERE’S MORE!! unscrew the very end again to find a smaller flat-head screwdriver!

BUT THAT’S STILL NOT THE END!!

unscrew the end of this screwdriver to find a final, teeny tiny, flat-head screwdriver

look at how cute it is!

it’s like a matryoshka doll of tools.

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👋 Send Me Emojis 👀👌

☝ - How tall are you?

✔ - Sexual Orientation

🚬 - Do you Smoke?

🍷 - Do you Drink?

♒ - Do you Take Drugs?

😳 - Age you get mistaken for?

💉 - Have Tattoos?

✏️ - Want any tattoos?

✂️ - Got any Piercings?

✌ - Want any piercings?

👌 - Best friend?

♥ - Do you like anyone?

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?

😒 - Biggest pet peeve?

📝 - Story from your childhood.

💬 - I wish…‼️ - Something you’ll change?

💦 - What makes you horny?

🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for?

🔥 - Something spicy you like?

👃 You hate the smell of ….

👊 - Something you hate?

🚶 - Are you single?

💬 - Can we text?

💌 - Fan mail me?

💍 - Marry me?

💘 - Be my tumblr crush?

💭 - Favorite foods?

☀ - Story about your day.

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?

✏ - Random fact about yourself.

✈️ - Where are you from?

🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?

😍 - Do you have a crush?

😷 - Something you hate eating?

🙈 - What makes you shy?

💃 - Can you dance?

💏 - Do you love anyone?

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?

🌴 - A island you would visit?

🌎 - A country you would visit?

🌀 - Favorite type of weather?

🔮 - Do you believe in luck?

📱 - What kinda phone do you have?

📅 - Favorite time of the year?

📚 - Career goal you want?

🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?

🍭 - Favorite Candy?

🍇 - Favorite fruits?

🚘 - Dream car(s)?

🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?

🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?

🎫 - Do you have a license?

🚼 - Do you have or want kids?

🔞 - Are you under 18?

🐶 - Do you own a pet?

😔 - Something that makes you sad?

😡 - What pisses you off?

😏 - What turns you on?

😈 - Are you a freak?

💪 - Do you work out?

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why do so many “icarus and the sun” artworks and stories portray the sun as a woman? do y’all know who controlled the sun? apollo. icarus is gay as fuck, y’all.

Sometimes it was helios, not Apollo. Icarus was still gay as fuck

“Icarus we just escaped prison don’t ruin it by flying too close to the sun”

[Icarus already fucking launching himself across the sky for the sake of some godly dick]

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woops

It is the year 2046. The time has come for the annual Blog Inspection. Armed android wardens begin to arrive at the homes of the country’s prisoners who were once called citizens. A warden knocks on a ramshackle door. It is answered by an old man, bedraggled, starving, weary. The robotic guard’s abdominal display screen flickers to life with the image of a popular post on tumblr. “This has to be on everyone’s blog at least once,” intones the android. Fear enters the man’s eyes. He has not reblogged this post. He shrieks and, with one fell motion, blasts a hole into the android’s head with his laser magnum. Everyone in the neighborhood watches on in horror as the man, calling for liberation, is tackled by dozens of androids. His screams die with the buzz of plasma spears. There is no freedom. This has to be on everyone’s blog at least once. Everyone’s.

are you okay there

E V E R Y O N E

NO CHANCES TAKEN

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This is in less than 30 years…

Guys we’re safe

I’m safe now guys

SAFE yes haha

Safe…??

Safe

What in the holy hell is this? There’s no way I’m not risking this

I guess I’m safe?

Okay then

I’m safe….?

Alright then.

LIKE HELL I’M GOING OUT LIKE THAT

What’s with this post

im scared y'all

reblogging just so i can get some of y’all paranoid lol

:^)

O-oh n-no *stares fearfully* e-everyone please, r-reblog! I d-don’t want anyone h-hurt ok? 

Oh gee. Who ever made this is kinda mean byt no chances taken.

We gots this, safe!