Used to- 3/16/17

I used to post once a day in an effort to make a change but it never did.

Lies- 1/22/14

Have you ever told a lie? What was it and why?

I decided to get the questions done with first today, where there will be a lot to take in before you answer, and I want you to know what to think about.

Lies. Anti truths. Falsities. Lies are everything from covering up what you did last night to an entire identity. Lying is a means to hide from the truth. The truth not being actuality, but your subjective views of what happened. Now, lies are sometimes harmless. “Of course I stayed with them at the show.”, “No, I’m not drunk.”, “I lost the money”… Etc, etc. However, sometimes, lies could be terribly hurtful, if figured out… “I still love you”, “I was at work.”, “I’m clean now.”… These lies are the ones that hurt people the most. These are the ones that change people’s minds about you. The words that end entire emotions. The words that break hearts or crack them wide open. The lies that our lives is built off of. The stories we tell that no one needs to know about. The truth sometimes hurts, and maybe it’s easier to listen to the lies because they’re comforting. But when it crumbles down, it hurts even more than it would just hearing the truth. And I’d rather listen to an ugly, terrible truth than a beautiful lie. We’ve probably all told a few white lies. Maybe even bigger ones. But, hopefully, it was with good intent. A young lady drinks so much one night, that she tells her boyfriend she slept with his friend. He’s crushed. Distraught. Broken. He’s left feeling like he’s truly alone, and commits suicide. The truth had no bad intent but it, just like a lie could, had terrible results. So who decides if truth or lies are better? No one knows. Society says truth, but society is full of lies. Sometimes, lies prevail and end up with an extremely good result. But is there guilt in this? Guilt in building a life of lies? And what does it mean truly to tell the truth, if the truth is subjective? A lie is not. Lies are objective. They aren’t from a point of view; rather they’re just to cover up what is subjective. So, that brings the question: what is it like to live? Is life a lie? Is life the truth? Is the lawn mower (see 1/10/14) the lie hiding the truth?

One may never know… But I’d like to figure it out. So, my question is the same. What lies have you told and why?

Hurt- 1/21/14

Have you ever been hurt? Have you ever wanted to die rather than feel the pain? Have you ever wanted to hurt? Have you tried to feel pain because it's the only thing that you can feel? If you answered yes to any of those, then congratulations, you're human. You're not any less than someone who doesn't admit to being hurt, nor are you better than the ones who can't deal with the hurt. You're all the same. You all have pain. You just have different ways of feeling it. Pain, some say, is weakness leaving the body. Others say pain is something they'd rather feel than nothing at all. Some believe that it's part of life, and that it has to be, and always will be. None the less, to everyone pain hurts. That's what it is. Whether it's stress, emotional trauma, physical injuries, mental scars, or even ideas different from our own. It hurts. Some people get a rush from being in pain. There's almost an orgasmic feeling of being pushed around and hit and scratched. The tingling and pleasure is so much greater than the pain, and it provides a new sense of the strength of love. Others like to feel physical pain over emotional pain and so they choose to hurt themselves. They drag blades across their skin and open it up just to accept that it doesn't hurt as much anymore. That they can handle something in their life. Others do it because they're so numb to the rest of he world that they want to feel something. There are others who like putting others in pain. Forcing them to feel what they experienced. Forcing them to do everything they ask out of fear of more beatings or harsh words or being alone. Some of those people become excited by the idea of hurting others the way they were because they know they're not the only ones anymore. Some people like to push their bodies beyond the limit because it's sheer fun getting there. Sometimes a needle prick may hurt but the result is truly fascinating. Some are intrigued by why emotional trauma causes physical pain, like myself. It's so interesting that when someone is under so much stress from an emotional event, that they get sick or have migraines, or even pass out. It's amazing how the body understands stress to the point where it can output the same amount of hurt physically as one is undergoing mentally. So how do you like your pain? Or do you like it at all? Why?

Family- 1/15/14

Family... The biggest let down of groups of people in your life, perhaps... The ones you grow up trusting, but always prove you wrong. The ones who try to help you and always make it worse. The ones you have to tell 'I love you' even when you know you'd be fine without them. The people who society builds up to be the ones who will always be there, but in reality, never are... Family... There's just not that much to say... How's your family life? What's it like, and how do you wish it was?

Lawnmower- 1/10/14

Life itself is a lesson, or a lecture. There is a lot to be learned from it if you listen closely, pay attention, and don’t get distracted with the little things going on at the same time. I sometimes find myself distracted and ‘off the path’. Very often, when I get attached to certain ideas, events or people, I become infatuated with them to the point where I lose sight of what lesson I’m learning, and I almost want to. Kind of like, what a freshman year teacher told me… About the lawn mower effect. It was something like, ‘When you’re in class, and you look out the window into the baseball field, sometimes you’ll see the guys combing the sand, or someone mowing the lawn. Now you’re so bored in my class that you become obsessed with the coolest thing happening- and to you, that’s the lawn mower- and you’re no longer paying attention to the class… But if I were to ask you to come in one day, a Saturday, when you’re at home- if I were to ask you to come in to watch that guy mow that lawn… You’d tell me ‘hell no, that’s lame’. So, guys, don’t get distracted, because history is much more fun than guys riding lawn mowers.’ Now, with the exception of that last sentence, he’s described the most accurate part of life. The distraction of something so much less important because you’d rather be enjoying something mundane than accept what is so painfully horrid about life at that time. That’s why I believe people fall in love. To distract their mind from what truly is happening in their life with someone else’s life. That’s what has happened to me, upon many occasions. I’ve lost track of the life I’m living because I’m distracted by ‘her eyes’ or ‘her smile’ or ‘the way she makes me feel’. I’m distracted from the lesson life is trying to teach me. Right now, I probably have a GPA of like 2.0 in life, because test upon test, I continue to come short of entirely succeeding. I don’t always fail, but when I do, I fail miserably. I’m alive, and I know that some people say that that’s a success… But in my case being alive is because I failed so often to do something. And some people here, that’s going to speak to, and some it won’t. Now, back to tests… I guess I want to test you all. What is the true lesson life teaches us? What is the lawn mower to you guys? What is the meaning of life, besides 42, and of course, finding the meaning of life?

By the way, my name is John Glass, and I’d actually like to know what your responses are to these questions. Feel free to answer publicly or privately, and if you ever want to talk to someone with no knowledge of you or the ability to judge you, I’m here. Thank you.