Today has been so ungodly overwhelming and all I can do is just pace my entire house because my partner is working til midnight and I dont have anyone to just come over and sit with me... its ridiculous how alone I am anymore and I can't fucking take it

Today was not a good day...

Started off waking up ridiculously tired when I was in bed fairly early. A coworker called off so we were short staffed. Asked my main main manager to get another coworker to work the line with me today and got told no... because SHE AND ANOTHER PERSON OUT FRONT HAD FUCKING HALF DAYS. Go fuck your half day. The back end is short staffed because someone was rushed to the er but okay. Then claims when our shipment arrives someone can come back and help. Fine whatever. Well that came an hour before close so fuck my life. NO ONE CAME BACK OF COURSE. Including herself who didn't even take her half day she ended up leaving right before the shipment arrived 🙄 then my direct manager is currently obsessed with pokemon go so she was no fucking help. Then wanted to question what I was doing and why I was taking so long. Like... im counting shit by myself. Wtf do you think im doing. She recommends i fill a machine. Okay fine... comes back as I am doing it and was like ummm you need to do the other stuff since it needs done sooner. IM LITERALLY DOING EHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO.

Then we close.. and her and I are stuck there cuz no one else is willing to help. Shes still playing. And wonders why we left 1.5 hours after we closed. If you had worked with me more to finish it would've been fine. This is why I dont want that manager role. We have to switch so technically I was in charge but then she acts like thiz... and today was the day we signed it all back go her so like bro take your shit im fucking done 🙄🙄🙄

Like im on full on breakdown and my boyfriend is only worried about the taco buffet at his moms since its 420 and she was having a few family members over.

I told him I dony want to deal with anymore people I'm pissed af. Im having a lot of issues with my one heel and it was majorly swollen today so walking made me want to cry. And he really asked me like 3 times to come down. NO WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. Then came up to see me and again was like you should come down. I wanted to swing on him my blood was boiling so bad. Idk how many fucking times I had to tell him I dony want to be around anyone... then his coworker wanted to come over.. like omg im done. Forced myself to take a shower which is such a struggle lately... and now im in bed avoiding them.

I dont understand why he wants me to he around all these people when I have said way more times than necessary that I want to be alone

I really want to get a penpal. I feel like it would make me want to be creative and share it with others. Im not always good at Journaling lately and I would like to think writing back and forth with others might help!

I drink the water. I consume caffeine. I eat the food. I take the meds. I smoke the weed. I sit in the dark. I use ice packs.

Yet I still sit here sobbing because this migraine will not go away.. I just want to feel better.