I’m constantly torn between “if it’s meant to be, it will be” and “if you want it, go and get it.”

Nights with you, mornings with you, everything with you.

Me in a nutshell

Poor Jesse.

Im not sure it shows but I’m so full of love

When you are a pure soul you dont lose people, people lose you.

You know you are an adult when you get excited to just go home.

I want a love that wakes up every morning and feels lucky to have me. I want a love without hesitation, without doubt. A love that can say, “yes, yes I am in love with you” without having to stutter at the question. I want a love that keeps me safe, but that at the same time pulls me towards the things that I am too scared to do alone. I want a love that holds my hand, that says “I am here, I am here”. A love that never lets me forget it. I want a love that never makes me feel alone, a love that understands, or at the least, tries to. I want a love that never curses me out in the middle of the street, a love that never frightens me. A love that uses their voice kindly, a love that understands my body still remembers what it is like to be dragged out into the mud of everything unholy. I want a love that knows I will always carry that trauma with me, a love that never asks me to ‘just get over it’. I want a love that understands not all the poems will be about them, a love that understands that there was something before this, before him, and it wasn’t always kind. wasn’t always a good place to be, wasn’t where my heart was safe. A love that understands I must tell these stories, a love that understands my survival depends on this. I want a love that always calls me back. A love that moves its own feet towards apologies whenever and wherever they are needed. I want a love that takes my hands and says, thank you. A love that appreciates me. A love that knows that although I am a woman drowned in sorrow and grief, I am still here, and I am still trying. I want a love that is my personal hype man, a man that doesn’t just tell me I am beautiful, but makes me feel it. A love that says, “ you are kind”, “you are smart”, “you are capable of anything”. I want a love that stands up first in a crowd full of people for me, even if they must stand alone. I want a love that isn’t afraid of what the rest of the world thinks, because they know that love is better without boundaries. A love that knows that love is better when you stop caring about what other people think of it. A love that doesn’t look for other people’s approval to love me. I want a love that never makes me feel unworthy. I want a love brave enough to stay, a love that wants to stay, a love that says, “things aren’t always easy, but this is where my heart is, this is where I want to be”.

A concept:

Polaroid pics of us having sex.

Always remember I allow y’all to see what I want y’all to see. Y’all don’t know shit bout me. I promise. Nobody will ever figure me or my life out through social media. That’s for the weak minded

Be good to your mother before you are good to anyone else

ignoring men is self care

I can’t stand people like this.

— death trap

no matter how many times i hear “i love you”, “i’m not going to abandon you”, “i’m not going anywhere” i’m still so fucking scared of being abandoned

i just wanna travel & fuck u on hotel balconies